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6/2/2017 c11 2BETAsatchel
Good to see that you still alive. Great work with the story and i cant wait for more of this great story. If you need any more characters or anything else that i can help with just ask.
6/2/2017 c11 14Desna
Loads going on but way fun to read because you pace it so well! Will be following.
1/12/2017 c2 2BETAsatchel
Quick question. What type of magic are you giving Mammon because if you are unsure I do have a idea for the magic he would use.
12/24/2016 c10 BETAsatchel
I just want to say that the ending was sooo great i cannot physically stop smiling right now and the story its self is great. You also got Mammon's charater just right too and i just love how he interacted with the other charaters. If you need any more charater just tell me and ill come up with a few but for now just keep up the great work man. (Thumbs up)
12/24/2016 c1 14Desna
Love your flow, happy to offer forth some second gens to lay upon the altar.
From Light of Hope, Serena Lacross Storm Dragon Slayer, raised by the Dragon Queen of Storms Raniera, mastery of anything that can be in a storm and rain based healing magics.
From Children of Fairytail, the three sons of Laxus Dreyar, Zen (eldest) 20yrs, long black hair purple eyes as big and built as his dad, Archangel magic with wings he can phaze out or in, all three brothers are winged Archangels, wings the color of their hair. Vander, white haired blue eyed 19, 6'1" Beck (his twin) also 19, 6'1" golden hair green eyes. The boys serve in the Special forces for the Rune Knights but maintain a good bit of freedom in spite of their military ties and back grounds.
Vander, fair warning, is a serious lady killer, flirt and all around perv, use him at your own risk.
12/6/2016 c5 3The Professional Holiday Man
Even though I haven't watched a lot of Fairy Tale, when I'm reading this, I don't think it's very necessary! You created a story that is great for everyone, even for the people that have never heard of Fairy Tale. I aspire to be as good at writing as you are one day and can't wait to see what you do next.
11/15/2016 c1 2BETAsatchel
Mammon Amon

Avarice

Male

20

5,9 with a slim build. Brown mesy hair that is very thick and curls toward the end and a soul patch beard on his chin. Plain black undershirt with a purple trench coat covering it and plain black dress pants with white shoes. White skin with grey eyes and tatoo of a doller sign with a cobra wrsped around it on the right side of his neck.

Parents died when he was younger and he was left in a orphanage after his parents company and money were taken from him. After a few years at the age of 16 he left and went to search for what he believes will make him happy money. For four years he has been training his magic and taking jobs in hopes of build a company empire like his parents had.

He saw that the guild would give him a better chance to increase his profits and make some good business partners (friends) to help him so he joined.

The plam of his right hand and purple

He his a very greedy person often charging his business partners for doing little thing like finding something or helping to take down an enemy but usally fair on a price and let those in debt to him slowy pay him off but he will make you pay one way or another. He is loyal and nice (in his own little greedy way) to his friends but claims that they are simple investments that he wants to pay off. He is respectfull to old people and as a little weakness to kids and animals.

Money, working, money, business partners, money, ice cream, and did I mention money?

Heavy or unneeded spending, idoits, cucumbers, fire, and charity.

Satchel R. Humber

Two stars
1/16/2016 c3 8potentialauthor18
Not bad, this was basically the first larger combat scene and it was easy enough to follow, although there were a few mistakes near the beginning. Nothing that really interrupted my reading though. So I guess this means that I'm not playing my usual song and hoping to get in a character to a story that's already or nearly full. Woohoo! The initiation reminded me slightly of the Hunter Test from HunterXHunter, which I liked because that was awesome. Raina seems like a dark but funny character and I could really see this scene play out in my head. Another admirable chapter and a cool way to get the characters rolling in! Also, haven't looked yet, but if you could, try moving your bio sheet to your profile and direct people there. That way we can copy and paste it instead of typing it out, just for simplicity's sake, since we can't do so while it's actually in the story.
1/16/2016 c2 potentialauthor18
I'd say there isn't too much yet to complain about. Your structure is pretty good and the dialogue is freaking great, you've obviously spent a lot of time thinking on these characters. Frankly, I can't believe that your story has so few reviews. Their relationships are just so obvious and smooth, plus their personalities. It's really awesome when you can tell so much about a character through how they act, nice job! I'll certainly be sending in an OC to you, although I'm torn between sending in an entirely new character who I've yet to think up or my older one that I've worked on for quite a while. However the latter isn't one that I could see joining a guild, he's more of an independent mercenary. If you'd be interested, I'd love to show him to you. Favorited!
1/16/2016 c1 potentialauthor18
Well hello and nice job man! For your first story, I am very impressed so far. The idea is sound an original, I love mercenaries and have even created my own(got like five chapters written but haven't posted anything yet) and was likely drawn to check out the story solely because of that. However, you're writing is pretty good and your humor is rough and funny. I like how this "Guild" is actually a front and was surprised as well, since I had a very similar idea for my own guild story that I've been working on. Very impressed so far!
1/9/2016 c3 1klbubblepop786
You did you did portray him right it was great excellent chapter

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