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for Join the Federation: Reistance is futile

2/27/2017 c1 Neo-byzantium
The Federation isn't perfect BUT it doesn't go committing genocide or does brutal experiments on outsiders or on its own people nor does it completely destroy the individuality of races and individuals like the Borg does. Sure it wants those who join it to conform to certain values and laws but that's what all democratic societies do, without it, there'd be chaos.

About General Chang, from what I heard, he was branded a disgrace and hated amongst many of his people for the deceptive and dishonourable way he had Gorkon killed. Of course, Gorkon's daughter was the one who spearheaded those actions to disgrace Chang and many Klingons were against her and likely felt that Chang was a hero for trying to in his mind, save his people from the Federation. I understand his reasons for fearing the Federation's subversive influence as he wasn't raised IN it so he wouldn't know what it's actually like and would gain twisted opinions about how the Federation brings in new members.

I certainly respect Chang far more then I do Eddington, Chang may have killed Gorkon in a dishonourable fashion but he did it for his people and his entire life of honourable service shouldn't be dismissed because of a dishonourable act he committed because he believed it to be the only way to save his people. After all, Federation characters like Sisko committed iffy acts to protect the Federation but no one complains plus Kira was a terrorist at one point to save her people from the Cardassians but no Bajorans complain about it.

Getting back to the story, the author in the story is entitled to his opinions and brings up some good points but you should've made the story longer and show the reactions of the other characters to the author's final response. Also, his opponents should've been of better quality. For example, the Starfleet representative should've been Picard as he could've debated the author much better.
8/29/2016 c1 14Model Builder
This is an interesting take on the traditional "Trek" perspective (some of which was previously touched on by the Klingons in "Undiscovered Country.") I do not mind reading stories flavored with a bit of "controversy." This can add intellectual interest to a good story.

My main complaint is that this reads like an excerpt taken from a larger story that you are developing (and have posted wanting feedback on whether or not you should continue working on,) rather than a "complete" stand-alone piece. I finished reading disappointed to find that I would NOT get to read more about Lt. Cmdr. Teilhard, Klingon Commander Keppa, the Andorian Representative Opytte Zh'rhohlis and Dr. Heisterkamp. I hope that you will consider further development of this intriguing 2,155 word story to give more background about your characters.

Please consider expanding this story.
4/29/2016 c1 132Artemis1000
Very interesting!
11/12/2015 c1 11Anonymaustrap
Hello, Anonymaustrap here, and I found your piece as part of the Review Lounge, Too's Flashathon/Reviewathon. I'm not lore blind to star trek, but I do know that people take the universe in different directions, so I might not know certain parts of your lore. I'm always interested to see what people do with the Star Trek Universe, and I found your piece via the Star Trek:Other Community.

I was trying to determine whether to treat this as a bit of rhetoric, or to treat it as a story. This seems to try and be both, and I think it could really benefit from deciding to be one or the other. As Rhetoric, you could almost use it as a prolouge to set the tone for 'your trek'

I thought the reference to books was interesting, and I know they are trope all the way to the TNG era. So at least I know that this is at least TNG.

Commander Keppa behaves in a very typical Klingon fashion. Chang cannot fail, but only be failed. I think this does a good job of deepening the mystery of why she was there. She's clearly not good at debate, or much of a scholar, but refers back to the punishment she was getting, perhaps?

While you don't indicate how important this book event is, it seems that no one has sent your best, and no one sees through 's strawman argument. But that does help us understand Dr. Heisterkamp's argument, because there is no one who is capable of debating him around him. I think that means whoever his book publish company is, they do a great job of keeping him away from real debates.

Opytte seems to be the only politician. We know because you tell us that. "Its time for some politics" Its interesting you pick an Andorian for this character, since they are probably the best example of the Federation working with different cultures, but rather than muddy the point with those facts, we are comfortable that they decide pick a middle ground. It paints a Federation that doesn't take the author seriously, and that those representatives sent - from both the Klingon and Federation side, are pretty useless, and begins to make our Doctor look like a smug crank.

It leaves the reader intrigued that such a Federation would work at all, or that perhaps there is more to this story than meets the eye. Did the Federation and Klingon Assemblies intentionally send incompetants for a reason? I think there's a very intriguing story there! Keep it up.

Some stylistic thigns you might want to consider.
Its difficult to determine who is saying what. You might want to consider dialogue tags that help indicate the speaker occasionally.
A Hypen is usually used to indicate someone's speech is cut off.
11/11/2015 c1 Cybred
Nope its not a matter of perspective, the federation are the good guys.
11/7/2015 c1 1FreeTraderBeowolf
i think this attitude of you must become like us to join is a given in all governments except for a pure libertarian, as all governments except for a pure libertarian are about the monopoly of force. The reason i exempt pure libertarian is because it is a group of people that accept that they have no monoploy on force thus no central government. Sadly that type of society lacks the cohesion neccesary to resist other entities.

So this need to convert others to their way of life is a given.

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