for Fellowship of the Ring Plus One6/22/2016 c1 
7TheWriterWhoWaited
Hello! Okay first is that your are telling, not showing. Detail the scenes out and sprinkle in some things about Cassie (you) and all. It felt rushed and kind of like a surprise attack with the dialogue. That's the only major concern I am seeing here :)
7TheWriterWhoWaitedHello! Okay first is that your are telling, not showing. Detail the scenes out and sprinkle in some things about Cassie (you) and all. It felt rushed and kind of like a surprise attack with the dialogue. That's the only major concern I am seeing here :)