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12/14/2015 c4 Sorrowful Stone
Not enjoying the attitude of the other Supreme beings towards Momonga.
12/14/2015 c4 BRLA
Badass story! Keep writing because it keeps getting better and better.
12/14/2015 c4 4the lone soul
Not bad though no action but thats alright. Also a good point was that you brought in the racial traits and how that affect Momonga and the others. Another point would be age and experience in the human world, as I can Lucifer is the oldest I think. Oh well keep it bro, I am looking especially forward to the Interaction between Lucifer and Shalltear. :)
12/13/2015 c4 Seer
Wow... Lucifer is completely amoral. Makes me wonder if he was a serial killer IRL too. Because not even Momonga was this wicked right off the bat. Also... Luci underestimated Momonga. True, he is a coward and someone who would rather follow than truly lead but his cowardice makes him meticulous and when push comes to shove he is usually prepared.
12/13/2015 c4 2Klutzybear
This story is pretty hard to like at this point.

I think the main problem is the same that everyone else has pointed out:

Lucifer is just a complete asshole.

Sure, Momonga is suppose to be evil. But he always seem to care about everyone else, including his old friends and especially NPC's that they created. That made him someone to like and sympathize with.

Lucifer feels like the exact opposite of Momonga. He seems more ungodly selfish, arrogant and even crosses a line of killing off one of Nazricks maids. Despite the fact she wasn't an important character, it was still a surprising action that felt VERY out of place in the Nazerick crew.

Despite the fact you could blame it on it being his monster characters mindset. It was still really hard to get over that action.

That's the kinda crap Momonga couldn't bear to see or stand. This was made obvious in the light novels when he heard that spider maid of his nearly bit the big one if Demiurge hadn't saved her. If he didn't think of the bigger issue at hand, I have no doubt he would've lost his shit.

But since Lucifer took the front, it just feels like Momonga has simply become a background character with no important trait.

It's disheartening to see a "What if" story turn around and make the idea of involving more characters from Nazerick's past seem like an actual BAD idea.

Sure, conflict between characters is good to have, but when it comes to someone THIS unlikable, with NO decent traits. I feel like all it did was poison, what could've been a really fun story idea.

So, yeah. . . I can't go any further than this man, sorry.
12/13/2015 c4 1Dark0w1
That poor maid... I hope she get Rez soon.
12/13/2015 c4 4MatthewC
I'm a little apprehensive about where the story is going overall. I didn't read the original Overlord and go, "Wow, this is great, but it would really be awesome if Ainz could be _more_ evil." More the opposite, where what the original author did made me pretty uncomfortable a lot of the time.

I was hoping that in a fanfiction where more Supreme Beings show up, they could mutually help each other reinforce their humanity. Instead it seems to be the opposite, where even Momonga's most decent feature, the way he cared deeply about all the Tomb NPCs, is being walked all over. First Tigris hurting Aura (though I did like the explanation of what he was going for), now Lucifer's deliberate murder of the maid, and who knows how much Carne village battle is going to change for the worse. Is Lucifer going to put a stop to even what good deeds Momonga managed in the original story? Maybe he'll tell Momonga it's stupid to save the life of a couple of terrified young girls

It's just kind of a downer. Is there any way in which having 4 guild members around is going to seem like a good thing? Because right now it seems like an awful thing. I guess there's some hope that Lucifer will nip Demiurge's "conquer the world" nonsense in the bud. We'll see.

Anyway, I thought your characterization of Tigris was pretty great. He seems very, not sure how to put it, down to earth. I feel sorry for the way he thinks he has to behave badly in order to fit his own vision of what a guy in charge is like. Lucifer makes me hate him all the more every time I get a peek inside his head, as he seems such an utter jerk... even from his own point of view! But I think that's intentional and you want readers to hate him. If you don't, you might want to consider giving him some kind of redeeming quality.

Looking forward to next chapter. And hopefully a little Herohero attention! We still havent' gotten a Herohero POV.
12/13/2015 c4 1Weisser Ritter
Very neat. You certainly take your time to describe every single detail about the way Nazarick is unveiling with the presence of other players, and your characters show some really good layers. You have a very good sense of dramatic narrative too, I totally saw the maid's death coming but I was still impressed by the way it happened.

Keep on trucking, this is great.
12/13/2015 c4 pwashington
Finally Carnegie village kick ass let see what they can do
12/13/2015 c4 pan0ply
While I disagree with the other reviewer that Lucifer is killing the story, I must agree that he's a really big asshole. It's pretty hard to like him. Right now he doesn't even look like he has a speck of good inside him with how callously he killed off one of his own followers and how he constantly acts as if he knows everything.

Also, without more context, that whole experiment seemed unnecessary. What was it for? To test the effects? Why can't he open it himself? If he wanted to see what effects they had on allies, why not summon something instead of taking advantage of one of the NPCs whom he knows will do whatever he asks them to. He himself knows that the NPC will follow his order to the letter, yet he blamed the maid for opening the cabinet when he himself was the one who ordered her to do it. If anything, this just further cements my dislike for him. What an asshole.

One has to wonder what he was like in real life if he acts this way. He is supposedly pretty mature in terms of age since his kid is a grown-up. I hope the other 3 reigns him in in the future.

Other than that though, it was a rather enjoyable chapter. The Tigris scenes were especially enjoyable.
12/13/2015 c4 Guest N
It seems that Lucifer doesn't care about the lives of the former NPC's. Such a waste really. Killing your own allies just to get the results of experimenting.
Poor girl. She ,like the other NPC's, are really loyal to them and yet Lucifer just discards them like trash.

Momonga better put a leash on Lucifer before something else happens. The other maids will notice that Poisson is missing and will talk with the Pleiades who will then report it to Momonga.
12/13/2015 c4 Zaru
Well then... we see more of Lucifer's cold nature and Tigris figuring out of their character traits being manifested. Seriously though, dick move by Lucifer. He said go to the cabinet, yet he said 'did not'? Was that an oversight or Lucifer being cruel?

Either way, fine chapter.
12/13/2015 c4 Umm
Lucifer is killing the story. Feels like I'm reading a self insert gary stu with a horrible personality. At this point he's the main character and all the other supreme beings are just incompetent fools.
12/10/2015 c1 Voltrasin
For good quality Overlord episodes, visit .
12/9/2015 c3 4the lone soul
heee, not bad someone actually gone the multi player route, this is going to be good, however, I cant really picture the two OCs in my mind, Lucifer in the direction like Lucemon holy mode, other then that I agree with you I guess we wont see Overlord till 2020, well only solution would be the open plot holes. One could fill these holes and maybe give it a proper ending.

Good Job so far )
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