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for The Eevee Trainer

10/29/2016 c12 Flareblitz089
please continue, i am waiting 4 like 10 story's to update and i really like this one so could you mabye could you continue with the story, im a big fan of armorship
Cheers, Chaise
5/19/2016 c12 marissamtz03
I love this story I think Ash's mom and professor oaks should be it it soon but continue on ASAP
5/8/2016 c12 7Engel2092
I've really enjoyed the story so far, as far as the long chapter or short chapter thing goes, some chapters just tend to be shorter and others longer. Do what you think is necessary.
As far as the whole Narrator thing goes, I think it would be funnier if it wasn't a voice in the sky, but just some random person popping out of nowhere and getting people angry with him, just my opinion, maybe that "chubby" guy who Adrian met with, since you eluded to him, in a joking manner, being Arceus. Personally I don't think the whole "being aware of the narrator" thing works unless it's a physical person in the story who constantly is beat on for doing the narration. Just my opinion.
5/3/2016 c1 you wasteofspace
what a complete piece of shit. Oh look at my awesome OC and the super unique eevee.
4/23/2016 c6 Ghosted Away
Well this is interesting. Sycamore and Rowan were closely familiar with each-other? It would make sense since they both study a field that is related to evolution and growth. I wonder if Rowan would travel to see Sycamore again, and then Dawn tags along with him

I know this maybe too late, but I have some ideas for Ash's older pokemon: Gible would be good to bring back for some training, where it has a chance to evolve (either before or during the league) and then it can really demonstrate its potential.
And yes, I too love Quilava! Definitely bring him back to show his opponents that they will have urgent need for burn heals afterwards!

I have an idea for how to include Buizel, and even a league battle against Tierno: Based off his team we have seen in the anime, Tierno's pokemon give off the vibe of a rain dance-based team. Maybe here, Tierno's strategy could be centered around using the rain. Seeing this, Ash's ace would be Buizel as it can show off its swift swim while also freezing the water with ice punch (and even the return of ice aqua jet)!

Darn, there goes ChuveeShipping. Those two practically scream to be together, but not in this fanfic. Come on, Pikachu. If you want Eevee to respect you, then beat him with your same power that defeated Mega Lucario. That should be enough to force even the most stubborn battle maniacs into respect.

On the topic of Eevee: I neglected to mention it with the earlier chapters, but I never had a problem with Eevee knowing hyper beam, more so because I was pretty certain there would be a reasonable explanation for it. That has been partially explained by the Evo Island, which is an interesting idea. I wonder if this Adrian had a dark history at that island?

Now then, this review has become quite long, and so...

The legend of the Blue Blur vanishes from sight once again,
SeanicBlueBlur.
4/23/2016 c5 Ghosted Away
Interesting way to go about breaking Ash's shield of obliviousness.
Oh gosh, I just had a funny idea to suggest: Bonnie sets them up into a dance (maybe at a performer party?) in order to get them together, where Ash is ready to go (like the dance is a battle) with Serena is flustered. So they dance and have fun, and the mood seemingly becomes more romantic. Then, Ash asks Serena if she remembers their time at the Summer Camp. This gets Serena excited as she wonders if Ash is going to confess or say something romantically meaningful like that. But instead, Ash says something random ("I wonder what happened to that Poliwag?" or "Gary stole my peanut butter sandwhich back then!) and everyone collapses from the break in the romantic air.

Not to be taken seriously, just a really funny suggestion that would show Ash is gradually trying to be more romantic and be closer with Serena, but still has a fair ways to go (much like his dancing skills early in the series).

Jokes aside now: Regarding the narrator, maybe his text should be in a different format in order to distinguish him from everything else around. Maybe make it bold font? I know there are the asterisks but adding in another distinction, such as bold font, would help to distinguish the narrator and recognize him separately from the rest of the text.

Impressive attention to detail with Lance and his organization. Before, I had completely forgotten of their existence altogether. Foreshadowing their involvement perhaps? Imagine how Lance would react to seeing Ash's Goodra (assuming it has not been released in this story, need to catch up further and find out myself).
Now then, with all of that being said...

The legend of the Blue Blur vanishes from sight once again,
SeanicBlueBlur.
4/23/2016 c4 Ghosted Away
Seanic zooming in for a surprise visit.

I was originaly going to hold off until the later chapters but, upon seeing the return of Buffy, I just had to comment. Coincidentally enough, right before reading this, I had been watching a compilation video of his name being mispronounced (as inspiration for writing Stephan in my fanfic).

So the mega evolution (and abit of XYZ) plots are being incorporated earlier in Kalos. Good move there to bring them together, and the fact that Ash actually remembers his pokemon is also nice, though the same cannot be said for his love life. Serena may have the ability cute charm, while Ash practically has the ability oblivious, but even the densest heads will eventually be filled with the knowledge of the starlys and beedrills.

One thing I do hope gets explained is the green glow/disease that Chespie has. I understand the anime has yet to say anything about it at all, but that in itself is getting rather annoying.

The main topic of interest though, was Ruby and Adrian's thoughts on life. I myself do not disagree with how he thinks, and I even see he has a valid point. With that being said, beliefs have the potential to lead into dangerous situations and clashes, and this is especially apparent when an individual attempts to force their beliefs upon others in a negative manner.

It would be neat to explore both the positive and negative side of this particular topic you brought up here.

In fact, one really interesting plot point I think would be great is having another character (maybe Alain) who stands as the polar opposite to Ruby in regards to how they view life. Whereas Ruby believes in strictly following Arceus' pre-planned path, Alain (or a different character) would argue against that by saying they are not caged creatures nor livestock but rather are meant to alter their path throughout life with their own decisions (which would also lead to clashing debates about being a trainer).
Thinking about that idea more, there is alot of potential in that, and I could see it being a really interesting ongoing debate in this story. A third character (maybe Ash) could intervene and help them see that neither of them are necessarily wrong, but they also each have their problems while also being able to learn from each-other (Yin-Yang).

Aside from that, the spelling and grammar are all great. There is the occasional mistake, but hey, none of us are perfect (I myself know that all too well with mistakes). I will save a few more of my observations for the later chapters.

The legend of the Blue Blur vanishes from sight once again,
SeanicBlueBlur.
4/20/2016 c2 Ghosted Away
Seanic here, rushing in as the blue blur for my very first fanfiction review.

I myself am the type of person who finds it equally important to hear the pros and cons, so then:
The first thing I have to say is that, I am definitely more fond of the circumstances with how Eevee got captured, and the personality is rather interesting. For a cute pokemon, this Eevee is quite the badass, but I like pokemon that break a certain mold (think of a Grimer that cares about plants and cries when its poison burns plants. Nice one on the personality and capture!

Truth be told, initially I was very sceptical about having the narrator but, so far at least, it did make for some humorous moments. If it gives a good laugh for non-serious matters, then go for it.

Darn, I was hoping it would be Ruby and Sapphire from the manga. We need Ruby with his pretty boy act clashing against Ash's battle eagerness, or Sapphire's wild jungle habits clashing with Serena's more modern manners. Oh well, nevermind that part. I just really am fond of those two from the manga.

With all that being said, this is just my initial impressions, and I am currently on my way to catching up to the newest chapters. So then, I shall make a speedy return quite soon!
3/15/2016 c8 44Epicocity
Another time for review. Good news first, your plot was moving apace and the way that Ash defeated Alain was inventive for the level of strength difference between the two. Also, the realization of Ash's feelings was handled well.

Now, the not so good news: 1) Your battles lack oomph. And by that I mean, they're devoid of description. It's simply, they attack, the pokemon are pushed back. I know it's difficult but you really should describe what these trainers are getting into and how the pokemon moves looked.

2) Remember, there are no "wolves" in the pokemon world, there are "dark type wolves" or "dark wolves" or "Wolf pokemon" but never just the animal. Too confusing...

3) I think you might be pacing Amourshipping a little too fast for someone of Ash's denseness. Slowly budding is better than realization all at once. Also, I just slightly disagree with your view on Dawn, but that's just opinion. She was always supportive of Ash in gym battles and after the loss at Lake Acuity, not just one way. It's fine if you want Ash to realize the difference between Ash and Dawn, but don't forget the facts.

And yes, Unova was awful. Hope this advice helps and look forward to the next chapter.

Dare to Be Silly,
Epicocity
3/11/2016 c8 marissamtz03
Continue on
3/4/2016 c7 Epicocity
All right, caught up!

I'm not going to rehash what I said in my previous review, because it would be pointless. So, I'm only going to say a few things.

Praise: It's well written. You draw me in to the story and keep me wanting to know what happens next. Now that the plot has officially kicked off, I look forward to seeing where it goes. I particularly look forward to this Ash/Alain confrontation.

Criticism: You're walking a very thin line with Adrian, unfortunately. He's strong, has a girlfriend, is related to a main charatcer, Ash looks up to him, etc. What I'm saying is that you need to be very careful at this moment to not turn him into a Gary Stu. Of course, it's only been seven chapters, but this is just what I'm seeing. Perhaps you'll deconstruct those traits in the future, but I'm just saying to be careful about it, same with the rest of your OCs. Trust me, I learned my own lesson about that once.

The Kalos Quest theme, I understand what you're doing, but, perhaps, try to be less obvious about it. Songs are repetitive, but dialogue is usually not, so I would truncate on the repetitiveness. Also, a minor nitpick is the whole girl friend/girlfriend discussion...when they were speaking it was a little frustrating to see it put in parentheses since they're saying it out loud. And when they're not talking, there's no need to put the (space) and (no space). Just write it out. It'll save you time and your readers some effort.

Again, I'm not bashing here. I like the story so far and I want to see how it develops, these are just observations I've had. Keep up the good work and I'll see you next time (and potentially on my own new chapter).

Dare to Be Silly,
Epicocity
2/27/2016 c3 Epicocity
Well, you asked me to check out your own story, and while I'd rather catch up before leaving a review, I thought it would be rude to not leave one as quickly as I could.

You've got a nice setup here. Personally, I don't care that you diverged from canon simply because it's way too hard to NOT diverge from canon. Although, I did find it a little strange that Eevee was such a battler considering its personality in the series proper, but, hey, it's your story. That said, so far you've managed to keep everyone in character as much as possible, which is something I like, since not many stories are able to do that (or just don't care to). I look forward to how it will go from here (and I'll leave a review on that latest chapter when I get there).

Now for some constructive criticism. I was once given advice a long time ago about descriptive dialogue. Now, you do give some description, like saying "Jessie hollered" and the like, but what I feel you're lacking thus far is, what are they doing while they're talking? Are they waving their hands? Shrugging? Deflating? It's little details like that which bring a wealth of imagination to the reader. Otherwise it's just words.

My other bit of concrit is the narrator. I think it's fine that you included the narrator, as Pokemon always has its narrator. My issue with it lies in the characters pointing it out. Even in the show itself, Team Rocket are typically the only ones to actually break the fourth wall. Ash and the others shouldn't be doing it. It adds unnecessary dialogue and seems silly. Again, though, this is one writer's opinion.

All that being said, you have a great three-chapter start to the story here, and the first three chapters are always the most important in anything. Well, that's all I have, other than telling you my own new chapter is up. Until I catch up or hear from you again.

Dare to Be Silly,
Epicocity
2/7/2016 c6 BrightMind
hmmm, what is that Adrian and his group know but want to hide from Ash and friends ?
2/6/2016 c4 BrightMind
I wonder who take a liking to Anabel that Andrian mentioned.
So Alain and Mairin - are they anime characters or OCs? I notice for the XYZ, Ash will have a new rival who can mega evolve his charizard though I don't know his name.
2/5/2016 c3 BrightMind
An Region that is dedicated for eeveelutions... freaking awesome! I love it!
Wow, these 3 chapters is just like a pokemon episode with team Rocket being annoying again, jeez!
Hmm, I wonder what is Adrian and his companions up to, that sounds interesting!
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