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for The Chronicles of the Wanderers

11/17/2015 c1 11Alexeij
Premise's good, and I get the feeling somebody has a Chosen parent :coff::coff:

Sorry, bad pun intended. As i said, good premise, I personally like the stories where these two cross paths, both in a good and in a bad way. I saw some typos here and there, but that's not an issue unless the text becomes incomprehensible, and that's hardly your case.

That said, I felt like the RI on Elsa's part was a bit rushed here. i mean, I understand gratitude and emotional turmoil go a long way, but if the romance happens too fast, without a good base, it usually relults less realistic and more fandom-service / wish fulfillment.

I'm curious to see where you'll take the karma dichotomy between Thomas and Elsa you mentioned a couple of times in this chapter. Nice work!
11/17/2015 c1 chiefcloud
Keep going, it's a great start. I'm following you from now on

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