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for White As In The Winter Night

11/17/2015 c1 6Mr. CyborgPineappleIsland II
OK first off thanks dude xD I wasn't expecting this.

For the story, I like the concept and I like how you incorporated CGB in this :) I just love how Isaac never wears a shirt xDD

My only problem is that I keep on hearing your voice in your charactes, especially Tom. I'd feel he'd use less (and shorter) words to talk about stuff. Jen also was like this, but it's not at the level at Tom.

I really do like this story :D, it's nice fluff, the only extra thing to add is that in the description, the "II" is apart from the rest of the name. c:
11/16/2015 c1 10JojiMC
*sigh* Reading this makes me want Christmas to come so badly. I'd say that's a good thing. My favorite part was definitely the snowball fight, and my favorite line was Tom's about his jacket. xD I think you really captured the whole cheerful holiday mood you were trying to achieve, and it makes the story. The ending was the perfect conclusion to a light and fluffy one-shot. c: I will say that the closing sentence could've been written just a bit better- I'm not one for dialogue at the end of stories. Also, Jen seemed to be rattling off facts sometimes, something that I've noticed you tend to do for characters, but I thought her portrayal was fairly good for your first time writing her. Tom was awesome, on the other hand, and the only dialogue I thought was really out of place from him was the whole Lana Del Rey part. I know how much you love your references, but dude, you gotta make them flow with your writing. xD Nice one-shot! I liked it a lot.

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