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6/30/2016 c1 7Team Wingless
Hey, so this was a good try for a fic, but I think you should break up the paragraphs into more sentences. It would really make it easier to read. Everytime you use an "and" I'd change it to a period. I did like the characters though and am anxious to see where this goes. Good job!
5/26/2016 c1 227The Mome Raths Outgrabe
I'm responding to your request on Writers Anonymous forum on the criticism thread. Starting off with a non-capital in your summary is a major turn off to most people and that along with the lack of punctuation will cause people not to even click on your story.

'had decided to sneak out and go to see and go to see them' you have 'and go to see' in there twice.

I'm confused and readers who are too confused often just leave stories. Lexy is the main character? And her Grandma is Piper? Are Lexy's friends her cousins/relatives too? And Piper's, PHoebe's, and Paige's kids all died at that time? Is that's what happening?

Also, Why in the world would the book of shadows be on the street?

Other than that I have to say you stirred up some intrigue with why all their parents died simultaneously.
5/25/2016 c1 38ChocolateTeapot
I'm responding to your request for constructive criticism on the Writers Anonymous forum.

First off, I suggest you fix the capitalisation and punctuation in the title and summary. There are over 11 thousand Charmed stories on this site alone, you need to make a good first impression. There are a few typos in the story itself too.

I'd use shorter sentences. Even though your sentences are fairly grammatically correct once unravelled, tacking on clause after clause makes them hard to read. Often the different parts of the sentences are only tangentially related anyway.

By the summary, I think the group of OCs are meant to be the main characters, but this prologue doesn't give any real impression of any of them. We only even learn one of their names and it's only used in possessive form. I think giving more details that are immediately relevant to them and the situation at hand would help this.
11/30/2015 c1 wiccancharmedguy
sounds like good story to read please write more

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