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for Reading Naruto the Forced Fighter

1/1/2017 c1 18ds hero
When you post the next chapter?
12/22/2016 c63 Guest
Naisu!
12/21/2016 c63 AtillaDaHuntsman
Great work man. I always love to see an update. Keep it up!
Since FTDS is in the process of reposting this story, might I suggest a challenge? One of his greatest works ever, Naruto the Huntsmen, has gone untouched for a great while. Both of the Readings for Part 1 have long since failed, leaving a legacy of unfulfilled expectations. Would you, by chance, be willing to attempt a Reading of this? You could even use the same group currently reading this story if you'd like (sort of like how E4E does his multi-part readings), since they already have a decent insight into Naruto's past through video games and flashbacks (which, by the way, was a totally genius move). As an incredibly talented author, I trust that you would be more than capable of doing the story justice, and with nearly 170 chapters between the Naruto the Huntsmen and its sequel, it would be a rather rewarding experience to breathe new life into a glorious masterpiece.

Happy Holidays (or whatever doesn't offend you),
Atilla the Hun(tsman)
12/12/2016 c63 3The Richmaster
Nice chapter; i liked the reactions here and Jaune's losing his temper
12/10/2016 c63 1R-king 93
Awesome
12/10/2016 c63 Train Heartnett
Awesome !
12/9/2016 c63 Cf96
Nice
12/8/2016 c63 Guest
Great chapter keep up the good work
12/9/2016 c63 3Zen-Aku The Spirit Of The Wolf
I can't tell what's going on, what is story, and what is people, there is nothing to differentiate
12/9/2016 c63 Silber D. Wolf
Great
12/9/2016 c63 Alex2909
the whole deal about what naruto should wear is hilarious how blown out of proportions it got
12/9/2016 c63 Dread Undead
Good:

1) Decent grammar

2) More or less funny parts. (Despite the obvious toilet humor moments)

Bad:

1) Boring

The story is unoriginal in so many ways. Angst? Check. Unwanted harem? Check. Bashing? Check. Unnecessary perversion? Check. I could keep on listing all the worn out tropes here. But the problem lies in the execution.

Not only you lack any fantasy with them but the execution is just brutish. A good story makes you think "Man, only this guy can write like this!" But when I read yours, I think "Man, this is like thousandth time I am reading something like this."

2) Toilet humor

All due respect, but jokes about "tuna smell" are just ridiculous. And not in an entertaining way. I am not asking for the high-quality sitcom humor. But please try to think more!

3) The Wasted Potential

The story could be something MUCH bigger than another lazy FAPfiction. (Because, honestly, if this whole story is not your mental masturbation over Mary Sued version of Naruto, then it is God knows what).

All joking aside, you had the chance to deconstruct the entire trope with Naruto as Mary Sue. Too bad that you didn't.

A couple of advice for the future Naruto crossovers:

1) Work for Recognition

Don't just make characters other than Naruto dumber or weaker or more perverted just because. THINK about how and what kind of the situation would make Naruto actually shine instead of just being made False Badass.

2) Keep your humor clean

Middle school students might find the "tuna scene" hilarious. But I just find the whole ordeal disgusting, stupid and lazy. How about putting more thought into comedy?

3) Keep Characters in Characters

My biggest problem is how, despite the summary, RWBY and JNPR members just don't seem like themselves. In the end, they all are just leftovers of whatever they actually are in Canon. So, unless you wanted to make the cast of RWBY OOC in both this story and the one they are reading, this is another thing you need to work on.
12/9/2016 c63 bladetri
like XD
12/9/2016 c63 1OBSERVER01
good reactions. oh man weiss is gonna go pale when she sees the training her other is put through.
12/9/2016 c63 Stratos263
Good luck naruto
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