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for A Broken Toy

12/13/2015 c1 198Insert a Catchy Penname Here
I thought this was an excellent story! I agree wholeheartedly with the theory of Mangle causing the bite of '87, or at least consider it now that the new theories rose with the fourth game, but this was very well written, especially for a first-timer writing in the FNAF world. (I'm a spring chicken in that regard too, so no worries. :P)

I thought it was a very interesting take to say that Purple Guy was the one to originally destroy her, but I thought it would have been good to venture into why he was in the pizzeria again. I interpreted it to allude to him killing more children, but that wasn't clear. I also thought it could mean he was coming to destroy the remains of what he'd originally done, (which would explain why he had an axe and hammer,) but clarification would help the message of the story and solidify why Mangle would feel the need to attack him when she had no original hatred for him. (She is a newer model, after all.)

The only other thing I question is why she attacked a little girl rather than the night guard. After all, Mike is the one she seemed to hate, not any of the children.

On a more congratulatory note, I really liked the friendship between Mangle and Foxy as well as the indebtedness you showed her suffering alongside the other aniamatronics. The children of the original suits coming out at the end and the allusion to the gateway they still likely possessed added a haunting touch, which really supports the dark themes of both the games and your story.

Overall, you did a fantastic job. I hope to see more from you in the future! :)

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