Just In

3/26/2017 c5 Tera12
Great chapter :D Cant wait for more
3/26/2017 c5 ARSLOTHES
Actually hoping you might add Weiss to the pairing and get a whole forbidden love sort of thing going
3/26/2017 c5 kage88
brilliant simply brilliant
3/8/2017 c4 1KingZthe1st
Ready to read more of this! I love things dealing with elementals and things like that so i hope that becomes a major plot point in the future.
3/7/2017 c2 KingZthe1st
Consider splitting your chapters up more. While long chapters are nice, more chapters are better usually.
3/6/2017 c2 KingZthe1st
This feels so much more like Borderlands than RWBY at the moment because of the setting. Not saying it's bad but just funny
11/25/2016 c2 Guest
So SPESS MEHREENS crossed with Brotherhood of Steel? Troublesome.
11/18/2016 c4 shugokage
Definitely an impressive story and chapter!
11/13/2016 c4 ClaudiusTheSober
I love what you did there, extending RWBY universe by adding more er...content beyond the kingdoms. Some naysayers will without doubt belittle you that such extensions are not needed / required as it is replacing original RWBY storyline which does not need additional villains and objective for the main group to face against ... and maybe they are right , but f!ck them , what do they know, I for one does not see it as wrong, this is fan fiction after all.

Only thing I'm not completely content about is the first chapter, when compared to other chapters it is laking the same shine and feel as those that follow. And it is understandable as the arrival to new word is the hardest thing for cross-over author to do.
But I know you could review it and do it better! For instance have the other language on one line and translations on line under it not following it in the brackets on same line.

General impression for the story is 96% if I close both my eyes on Ch.1

79% it is for story after reading trough all the chapters.

Claudius The Sober
11/10/2016 c4 Gundaago
Did you design Grey off Sam Wlliot? Cause he's all I see and hear with him, and it's wonderful.
11/8/2016 c4 demonfox2140
I agree with one thing Ruby,Yang and the rest do need get some experience in killing and without freezing or start puking each time some person is killed. Looks like Naruto will getting some more time with his team and they all can get a lot of needed training time they need. It would also be better while they are out in the wilds that Blake tells Ruby,Yang and Weiss she is a faunus and she is an exmember of the White Fang then instead of waiting when they are back in Beacon and it certain circumstances force her to reveal her past. Well at least Naruto isn't in school anymore for a brief time and he finally get some more training in. Anyway great chapter and I look forward to more of this story. Maybe Naruto can save Pyrra from being a sacrifice and dying because of Cinderfall.
11/8/2016 c4 kage88
11/7/2016 c4 Brehze
Amazing chapter keep up the good work
11/7/2016 c4 Guest
Hello, I really do like the direction you've taken here, combining Naruto with some elements of Fallout/Mad Max in a crossover with RWBY. This story would be a lot more readable for me if you would consistently punctuate dialogue correctly. Whenever you're ending a dialogue sentence with a question, you always correctly put a question mark, but very rarely do you use a comma in sentences/periods in dialogue sentences. Example: "I want people to get me to know me for who I am" She said. Should have a comma after am, within the quotation marks. When you're using dialogue to end the sentence entirely, you should have a period/!/?, as needed.

Anyways, sorry for the grammar lecture, but it really would improve the flow of your story to fix that issue. Thanks again for the cool story.
11/7/2016 c4 FateBurn
great story so far, please contiue soon.
161 « Prev Page 1 .. 2 3 4 5 6 7 .. Last Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service