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1/13/2016 c7 Shikanara96
sarzech is girl?
rias call sarzech onee sama

onee is for sister
onii is for brother
1/13/2016 c7 fresh prince1
what happened to your chapter?
1/13/2016 c7 toile grant
good
1/13/2016 c5 UnsanMusho
Honestly I'm fine with Naruto not being with Rias since I rather her, Asia and Irina be with Issei
1/13/2016 c7 DarkGath
Well while Naruto didn't really need to step in, it might be good leverage when he asks Sirzechs to pardon Kuroka. Update soon.
1/13/2016 c7 5plums
Did we really need to relive the entire Riser fight AND the fight to save Rias afterwards? Story should've never shown either of these. This chapter felt like a massive step-backwards. Like you're afraid to go off the beaten path more and had to go back over to the shallow end of the pool to get some familiar events going.

Ultimately, the chapter felt like absolute filler, and was completely unnecessary.

And that's besides the point that this is still almost unreadable. I spend more time concentrating on the actual act of reading what you have posted so i don't lose my place in the massive paragraphs than simply enjoying what I'm reading.

Show that you actually care what people are saying when we take the time to review and fix what's wrong with how you've structured your story.
1/13/2016 c6 plums
Is there a reason that you overload every paragraph to the point where they almost become unreadable?

There is a basic rule of writing fiction: Only one (1) person can "Speak" or 'think' per paragraph. The moment a new person speaks, you MUST start a new paragraph for that person.

You have entire conversations between multiple people all within the confines of one paragraph. Its an absolute eyesore, and makes it ridiculously hard to read.

Go back and spend 20 minutes editing your whole story so that your paragraphs follow this. It will improve the legibility of your work 100-fold.
1/13/2016 c7 1AscendedHumanity
text is messed up please re-upload
1/13/2016 c7 7luffyxrobin-luffyxnami
Wtf is this random font size bs hahahah?
1/13/2016 c7 4animecollecter
WTF?! what is with this shit?

can you fix this chapter? it looks sloppy and i am not bothering to read this chapter until it is fixed.

PM me when you have this fixed.
1/13/2016 c7 XD 1228
Am I the only one that can't view this chapter correctly? Its showing me the HTML coding (like font size, color, font, and etc) along with the chapter itself...

It shows up on my PC and on my phone. Re-upload please?
1/13/2016 c7 1Junaids
Hmmm...somethings wrong with the chapter
1/13/2016 c7 jungari
formatting makes this unreadable
1/13/2016 c7 ImpEmp
Chapter's broken. I see a bunch of code
1/13/2016 c7 danielcabeza59
Fix the chapter, please!
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