for Semper Fidelis3/19/2016 c9 Debbie Hicks
10.
Chapter 10.-Mind-Meld
that myself had a Holiest gift sine birth but it came too late my eyes wre with Venomous tears tenprefformed My first Vulcan Mind meld on a Vampire With em sud wre born differently but suddenly revealed my trues form Born with tth and Normal sized Canines were Fangs AND bit Edward By Markig him but Blessed him with Telekinesis a more powerful form of Telepathy so my All of my Bitten but all of te sudden Rattlesnakevenom mixed but suddenly theSenior Volturi guard te higher elite who sighten b mme was so gifted and more and most poweeful BLASTED! CRUNEDOff te trues Host wITH BOTH BUT snapped it but suddenly With my Screams violently blasted into flames fom the outside in Shredded but flowed as all of all of blod-Venom but shaking as all of it but suddenly was CHANGING Too late With Jessica Mike and Tyler and Eric and Lauren and Austion and Katie and Connor and with as all of the drained kids from tri-both but SNAPPED! burned AS ALL OF IT Why it never SN TOPPING HELP!Tese ones born Vampires Tell our masters take her with as all of it that too late I was Screaming as the Truest but fiblisztion change came true I was born different but suddenly it came toolate te Scoching hestwave and Smoking fire with Criping burn as all of it began to change me into a Undead creatue of the ten my scent changed far too gone causing me to lose my Sacless sacs blasted into flames and all of it was streading too far too overextremely my d sight tridoublig in power and and my Eardugs Shattered but suddenly screamed as te Change Came too late much too late ten with te screams of us as all of it came my finalization pf my own heart stopped just stopped Beating Blasted a signal of death my own but with scars scapes cutes lines and as all of scratches as all of it very too painfully caused te Three to merged too far overextremely gone for good but suddenly my brain Exploded into four lobes Shattered Then suddenly as all of it Shhatted began to be Brainwashed by that host forced me to open my truest eyes of Truest Bright Crimson waring from NASA Two with both Exploded my Crest but my hair was Trimmed in a Vulcan Bangs But it really happened I Adapted to this undead life but healed more different but forged something ery powerful from the deepest of my own mind and with the very as all of then blasted freely cold-skinned icy to the touch and swearing my oaths and my truest fiercer vows to guard and protect tem but the damage was done to my systems Aro she is what Gifted touching their Faces preformermed a Telepathically connection n known as a Vulcan mind meld it will make her stroner three time of her strength had doubled in size and all of the sudden touched Marcus's own face I Know it' runs deep Share your pain wih me Draw strength from the Vulcan Mind meld your mid to my mind your thoughts to my thoughts your life to my life to Seek Sha Ka Ree the Source jo my quest our minds one and Whole Give me your Thoughts to me Now I said in the Vulcan Language of the planet Vulcan wore Oocampan pointed ears with Artistic Slantd eyebrows without truest feelings I had embraced Kolinahr became Vulcan dressd in the Ceremoial robes of a Vulcan priestess left my hair overextremely longer expanded gold piercing golden brown eyes looked Black was a Acolyte sworn my religious vows and holiest oaths tey too blasted freely but it was red but left my Vegetarian self with as all of tem to suffer into agony that Edwad found me with scars cutes scraps and lines and scapes and bruises as all of it was as al of it felt so strange could sing a Vulcan Funeral dirge very holiest but spiritual gave up on spirit mind and body becoming his officially but all of the sudden Alice noticed how cold but iciest had Bright Crimson eye CARLISLE! What is she His mate no Imzadi remember I taught you from the planet Betazed from my true Extraterresrial people the Betazoids Alice had a vision of me with Ocampan pointed ears and slanted eyebrows with tragically Gaea's green blood pasler skin so frozen in tme so they her eyes turned te same darker cold Golden brown is Onyx what is she a hybrid born with teeth and canines but I have tested her she is telepathic marked him as her husband but she met him years back gave up herself spirirt mind and body as his Imzadi it mean's beloved or chireshed one in Betazoid her powers emerged at Adulthood the Volturi head of a Halfling so as all of them DESTROYED! Wit more than as al of tem but it really happened had human blood now Immortal tey joined the Volturi but suddenly myself was dressed in White Robes wearing religious jewels and a Crown shattered looked like from te 1984 science fiction movie Star Trek 3 the Search for Spock myself ose up my firmer loger strongr hand and arm was with hand jwels my bangs were Greeked styled wit swirled sides longr but more expanded hair suddenly stopped dying was timeless a wrea plpped onto my ead but shatted forged real jewels but crunched a secondary crown but sworn my final vows and oath professed tem telepathically swearing as a Senior Full time Seasoned ceremonial Vulcan priestess from the religious temple nown as Mount Seleya of Gol was on the planet Vulcan myself was a Acolyte will o religious life spiritual works of Surak two Vulcan males one was young in his twenties other in his forties Sir! se is a priestess trained for religious life had a cold look on er face looks different her eyes are a deep cold piercing Golden brown-Black eyes Culens I have changed my name it's TLar in honor of Surak I am not human I am a Vulcan woman your body s ceremonially oiled how old are you I look and appear 17 I am 47 years of age then myself began to speak more coldly words if the Dawn of our tomorrows it is today for our days to you my husband it shall be who am I I shal make my choice This One we will be married in Mount Seleya for our marriage I was walking very somber but funeral steps was drawne to my imzadi my mate and my usband longer flying hair still singing for my grandmother died in a glorious Vulcan Funeral dirge in the holiest dialects of the planet Vulcan was my birthworld Momma mia she is a what Acolyte she is is one of te Unbonded of her burned blood of Gaea's green blood is volcanic but she is not human but of our race Crap we all phased but what happened we did but resurrected she is a host so as all of tem joined the both with you that the side affect caused us to blasted feelly but crunched right outside but it came too late smashed but taken lost te olor of our skins but brought in here killed but were more than as all of them bitten from the groins but myself had healed differently lost my blood was human blood as all of it from the tubes as all of out the womb children followed but myself looked older fixed at death was Immortal but it came too late te bodies agd too far gone as all of tem from Around the world broken more than as all of it disconnecting from the livg world were all of tem fed but exploded had the looks were more tan as all of them deatroyed but became Volturi members but head more chidren hatcd from here with ourselves were Augments the highly classied creation of supermen and women wre us and them took Washington to us/witnesses they wre furious about us not normal.
10.
Chapter 10.-Mind-Meld
that myself had a Holiest gift sine birth but it came too late my eyes wre with Venomous tears tenprefformed My first Vulcan Mind meld on a Vampire With em sud wre born differently but suddenly revealed my trues form Born with tth and Normal sized Canines were Fangs AND bit Edward By Markig him but Blessed him with Telekinesis a more powerful form of Telepathy so my All of my Bitten but all of te sudden Rattlesnakevenom mixed but suddenly theSenior Volturi guard te higher elite who sighten b mme was so gifted and more and most poweeful BLASTED! CRUNEDOff te trues Host wITH BOTH BUT snapped it but suddenly With my Screams violently blasted into flames fom the outside in Shredded but flowed as all of all of blod-Venom but shaking as all of it but suddenly was CHANGING Too late With Jessica Mike and Tyler and Eric and Lauren and Austion and Katie and Connor and with as all of the drained kids from tri-both but SNAPPED! burned AS ALL OF IT Why it never SN TOPPING HELP!Tese ones born Vampires Tell our masters take her with as all of it that too late I was Screaming as the Truest but fiblisztion change came true I was born different but suddenly it came toolate te Scoching hestwave and Smoking fire with Criping burn as all of it began to change me into a Undead creatue of the ten my scent changed far too gone causing me to lose my Sacless sacs blasted into flames and all of it was streading too far too overextremely my d sight tridoublig in power and and my Eardugs Shattered but suddenly screamed as te Change Came too late much too late ten with te screams of us as all of it came my finalization pf my own heart stopped just stopped Beating Blasted a signal of death my own but with scars scapes cutes lines and as all of scratches as all of it very too painfully caused te Three to merged too far overextremely gone for good but suddenly my brain Exploded into four lobes Shattered Then suddenly as all of it Shhatted began to be Brainwashed by that host forced me to open my truest eyes of Truest Bright Crimson waring from NASA Two with both Exploded my Crest but my hair was Trimmed in a Vulcan Bangs But it really happened I Adapted to this undead life but healed more different but forged something ery powerful from the deepest of my own mind and with the very as all of then blasted freely cold-skinned icy to the touch and swearing my oaths and my truest fiercer vows to guard and protect tem but the damage was done to my systems Aro she is what Gifted touching their Faces preformermed a Telepathically connection n known as a Vulcan mind meld it will make her stroner three time of her strength had doubled in size and all of the sudden touched Marcus's own face I Know it' runs deep Share your pain wih me Draw strength from the Vulcan Mind meld your mid to my mind your thoughts to my thoughts your life to my life to Seek Sha Ka Ree the Source jo my quest our minds one and Whole Give me your Thoughts to me Now I said in the Vulcan Language of the planet Vulcan wore Oocampan pointed ears with Artistic Slantd eyebrows without truest feelings I had embraced Kolinahr became Vulcan dressd in the Ceremoial robes of a Vulcan priestess left my hair overextremely longer expanded gold piercing golden brown eyes looked Black was a Acolyte sworn my religious vows and holiest oaths tey too blasted freely but it was red but left my Vegetarian self with as all of tem to suffer into agony that Edwad found me with scars cutes scraps and lines and scapes and bruises as all of it was as al of it felt so strange could sing a Vulcan Funeral dirge very holiest but spiritual gave up on spirit mind and body becoming his officially but all of the sudden Alice noticed how cold but iciest had Bright Crimson eye CARLISLE! What is she His mate no Imzadi remember I taught you from the planet Betazed from my true Extraterresrial people the Betazoids Alice had a vision of me with Ocampan pointed ears and slanted eyebrows with tragically Gaea's green blood pasler skin so frozen in tme so they her eyes turned te same darker cold Golden brown is Onyx what is she a hybrid born with teeth and canines but I have tested her she is telepathic marked him as her husband but she met him years back gave up herself spirirt mind and body as his Imzadi it mean's beloved or chireshed one in Betazoid her powers emerged at Adulthood the Volturi head of a Halfling so as all of them DESTROYED! Wit more than as al of tem but it really happened had human blood now Immortal tey joined the Volturi but suddenly myself was dressed in White Robes wearing religious jewels and a Crown shattered looked like from te 1984 science fiction movie Star Trek 3 the Search for Spock myself ose up my firmer loger strongr hand and arm was with hand jwels my bangs were Greeked styled wit swirled sides longr but more expanded hair suddenly stopped dying was timeless a wrea plpped onto my ead but shatted forged real jewels but crunched a secondary crown but sworn my final vows and oath professed tem telepathically swearing as a Senior Full time Seasoned ceremonial Vulcan priestess from the religious temple nown as Mount Seleya of Gol was on the planet Vulcan myself was a Acolyte will o religious life spiritual works of Surak two Vulcan males one was young in his twenties other in his forties Sir! se is a priestess trained for religious life had a cold look on er face looks different her eyes are a deep cold piercing Golden brown-Black eyes Culens I have changed my name it's TLar in honor of Surak I am not human I am a Vulcan woman your body s ceremonially oiled how old are you I look and appear 17 I am 47 years of age then myself began to speak more coldly words if the Dawn of our tomorrows it is today for our days to you my husband it shall be who am I I shal make my choice This One we will be married in Mount Seleya for our marriage I was walking very somber but funeral steps was drawne to my imzadi my mate and my usband longer flying hair still singing for my grandmother died in a glorious Vulcan Funeral dirge in the holiest dialects of the planet Vulcan was my birthworld Momma mia she is a what Acolyte she is is one of te Unbonded of her burned blood of Gaea's green blood is volcanic but she is not human but of our race Crap we all phased but what happened we did but resurrected she is a host so as all of tem joined the both with you that the side affect caused us to blasted feelly but crunched right outside but it came too late smashed but taken lost te olor of our skins but brought in here killed but were more than as all of them bitten from the groins but myself had healed differently lost my blood was human blood as all of it from the tubes as all of out the womb children followed but myself looked older fixed at death was Immortal but it came too late te bodies agd too far gone as all of tem from Around the world broken more than as all of it disconnecting from the livg world were all of tem fed but exploded had the looks were more tan as all of them deatroyed but became Volturi members but head more chidren hatcd from here with ourselves were Augments the highly classied creation of supermen and women wre us and them took Washington to us/witnesses they wre furious about us not normal.
3/16/2016 c8 guest
Not much action in this chapter but it was nice! Oh, and I love how you haven't made Lauren a total bitch, its refreshing for her to be a bit more involved with the protagonist! I can't wait to see how you've written the Port Angeles scene, I feel like it was the main scene that really kickstarted Bella and Edward's relationship so it will be interesting to see how you have twisted it to fit better for Miri! I really hope you add a twist or something to the whole thing because i personally don't think that the actual scene in the book and movie would mesh that well with Miri's personality. Great story so far, can't wait for the next chapter!
Not much action in this chapter but it was nice! Oh, and I love how you haven't made Lauren a total bitch, its refreshing for her to be a bit more involved with the protagonist! I can't wait to see how you've written the Port Angeles scene, I feel like it was the main scene that really kickstarted Bella and Edward's relationship so it will be interesting to see how you have twisted it to fit better for Miri! I really hope you add a twist or something to the whole thing because i personally don't think that the actual scene in the book and movie would mesh that well with Miri's personality. Great story so far, can't wait for the next chapter!
3/16/2016 c3 Guest
Jessica get tossing snowballs at me. It was hilarious .. I think the word to use instead of get is kept
I actually contacts didn't irritate my eyes so... I would use the word the it make better flowing sentences
. Do I took twenty five dollars from it and stuck it into my wallet to pick... For this one I would get rid of the word do and just use I
I hope this didn't make u mad it just u said last chapter u do all of the editing by your self and I thought this might help. It a great story and I love how it get set up it great. Bye
Temperance maysliver riddle.
Jessica get tossing snowballs at me. It was hilarious .. I think the word to use instead of get is kept
I actually contacts didn't irritate my eyes so... I would use the word the it make better flowing sentences
. Do I took twenty five dollars from it and stuck it into my wallet to pick... For this one I would get rid of the word do and just use I
I hope this didn't make u mad it just u said last chapter u do all of the editing by your self and I thought this might help. It a great story and I love how it get set up it great. Bye
Temperance maysliver riddle.
3/5/2016 c1 Guest
I love this and I absolutely agree with your assestment of Bella's lack of character, please keep updating your writing style is intersting and very engaging
I love this and I absolutely agree with your assestment of Bella's lack of character, please keep updating your writing style is intersting and very engaging
3/3/2016 c5 Debbie Hicks
6.
Chapter 6.
that I felt Sick very sick too sick but it really happened Alice felt me and was Moaning outside but suddenly te Four Ruptured my Appendix but WAS screaming bUT A mORE thunderous mOWERFUL LIGHT exploded my Memories as all of it Bled to Death but from five and Suddenly Speading and RAesuming Traveling and CHANGING ME But BURNING! As all of it but suddenly with as all of them but suddenly the Senior Elite Guard noticed how Speciasl but it went too wrong but I hap ad a Born host Crunching me and Aging me too far gone but You there who turn her Tell our masters Black Her out and With them are Accused Time-Split as all of them then it Ws too late Tortured but cruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnched! Screamed but Viciously but bleeding if in 1976 beaten Scarred but Attacked by people but Screaming but the very ass all of it blazed as all of it CARLISLE SHE IS CHANGING AND TRANSFORNMING INTO A VAMPIRE SLAYER I CAN'T SUCK IT OUT IT IS TOO LATE HER HEART IS DYING OUT LIKE A DINOSAUR That I heard my heart galloping but suddenly Deactivated officially but my Mental but Physical shild Emerged but Stayed here but Time-Split Wit as All Teenagers gathered our Human Blood with the Oout of the Womb but With Witnesses with the Vulcans suddenly Vanished from here with Around the World myself was Cold-Skinned by now then te newest Carnivorous Selves met mates as all of them blacken out blacken veins suddenly blasted outside from tem te Real Carnivorous C Volturi selves EXPLODED! destroyed But it came too late the each three with Didyme the Fllen into as all Dust they were furious of more halvs of his coven my blood was Fading Away who am I really my head hurt Alie I Tested her with as all of them lets GO Before they find her STOP! Who turned her tell us that myself was very ill FELIX destroy them as asll of them now! that our Screams was Heard as all of tem very far way too much as all of them but the four blasted were as all of gods and goddesses but DESTROYED But torn us/with nesses but into puprish flames as all of tem very but all of the sudden our Screams were no more but ourselves freed but myself with them Surrendered but CRASHED! Then Time-Split but suddenly wre no more of as all of tem taken each both punished us/witnesses but forbidden to see families and friends and loved ones and tribes as all of each both as all of tem Immigrated but shatterd but myself had Crystalized Borg White Skin and Bright Crimson eyes but my looks healed an bnormally Alice they did to her an twice she is not human nor Vampire she is both hungry but thirsty unable to sleep of the host she died of a Stomach Rupture but it granted her a power source the Newst as all of very trillions all of them EXPLODED! Brought forth more Members reported Masters she with as all of tem hunting Animals are found Gulity of as all of crimes killed by the Senior Elite Guard of the Volturi is faced with as all charges of murdering this Advanced Ancient Extraterrestrial civilization was so badly beaten to death as all of it blasted freely but they are Gulity Masters created Mutants all of them by Nature gone horribly wrong returned to Washington had tem each both now more than as all of tem blasted freely bring the Accused as all of them but suddenly ame too late Screams was heard tey wre destroyed but myself healed Extraerrestrial but Alien too Alien gained Golden/black eyes but was not human anymore lost the Blood supply but was paler than normal was white but it really happened Crunched Outside but suddenly Lost the Aging Process but never aged at all Alice had a B Vision of te Gods/Goddesses reported me as a Half-Blood of Zeus Alice what is it she is a Demigod daughter of the Thunderer born with Powers of both Phyiscal and Mental poisoned their own blood and executed a half of the Volturi are getting lower each day but he and his coven are Coming all of them but lost as all f remins of tree now got as all but blood poisoned but more than as all them you can't have children tey all had children but stopped Aging with us/witnesses but can't be killed pierced but crunched freely are made Immortal beings guarded but protected by them but burst freely violently but it came with a price crunching outside then with as all of te both passed out coldly then blacked out coldest but but suddenly burst freely tey as all of too them as all of tem Away then Wit ourselves but suden vanishing but no more than as all of trillions or more but too late the ery as all of them blacken veins created by Exploding more than as very over extremely too far much and many more than as all of them DESTROYED! But gained more than as all of Members ery as all Shattered but became Volturi coven guards and Assassins as all of them but no more than as all of tem but suddenly we were Immortal officially but never aged at all.
6.
Chapter 6.
that I felt Sick very sick too sick but it really happened Alice felt me and was Moaning outside but suddenly te Four Ruptured my Appendix but WAS screaming bUT A mORE thunderous mOWERFUL LIGHT exploded my Memories as all of it Bled to Death but from five and Suddenly Speading and RAesuming Traveling and CHANGING ME But BURNING! As all of it but suddenly with as all of them but suddenly the Senior Elite Guard noticed how Speciasl but it went too wrong but I hap ad a Born host Crunching me and Aging me too far gone but You there who turn her Tell our masters Black Her out and With them are Accused Time-Split as all of them then it Ws too late Tortured but cruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnched! Screamed but Viciously but bleeding if in 1976 beaten Scarred but Attacked by people but Screaming but the very ass all of it blazed as all of it CARLISLE SHE IS CHANGING AND TRANSFORNMING INTO A VAMPIRE SLAYER I CAN'T SUCK IT OUT IT IS TOO LATE HER HEART IS DYING OUT LIKE A DINOSAUR That I heard my heart galloping but suddenly Deactivated officially but my Mental but Physical shild Emerged but Stayed here but Time-Split Wit as All Teenagers gathered our Human Blood with the Oout of the Womb but With Witnesses with the Vulcans suddenly Vanished from here with Around the World myself was Cold-Skinned by now then te newest Carnivorous Selves met mates as all of them blacken out blacken veins suddenly blasted outside from tem te Real Carnivorous C Volturi selves EXPLODED! destroyed But it came too late the each three with Didyme the Fllen into as all Dust they were furious of more halvs of his coven my blood was Fading Away who am I really my head hurt Alie I Tested her with as all of them lets GO Before they find her STOP! Who turned her tell us that myself was very ill FELIX destroy them as asll of them now! that our Screams was Heard as all of tem very far way too much as all of them but the four blasted were as all of gods and goddesses but DESTROYED But torn us/with nesses but into puprish flames as all of tem very but all of the sudden our Screams were no more but ourselves freed but myself with them Surrendered but CRASHED! Then Time-Split but suddenly wre no more of as all of tem taken each both punished us/witnesses but forbidden to see families and friends and loved ones and tribes as all of each both as all of tem Immigrated but shatterd but myself had Crystalized Borg White Skin and Bright Crimson eyes but my looks healed an bnormally Alice they did to her an twice she is not human nor Vampire she is both hungry but thirsty unable to sleep of the host she died of a Stomach Rupture but it granted her a power source the Newst as all of very trillions all of them EXPLODED! Brought forth more Members reported Masters she with as all of tem hunting Animals are found Gulity of as all of crimes killed by the Senior Elite Guard of the Volturi is faced with as all charges of murdering this Advanced Ancient Extraterrestrial civilization was so badly beaten to death as all of it blasted freely but they are Gulity Masters created Mutants all of them by Nature gone horribly wrong returned to Washington had tem each both now more than as all of tem blasted freely bring the Accused as all of them but suddenly ame too late Screams was heard tey wre destroyed but myself healed Extraerrestrial but Alien too Alien gained Golden/black eyes but was not human anymore lost the Blood supply but was paler than normal was white but it really happened Crunched Outside but suddenly Lost the Aging Process but never aged at all Alice had a B Vision of te Gods/Goddesses reported me as a Half-Blood of Zeus Alice what is it she is a Demigod daughter of the Thunderer born with Powers of both Phyiscal and Mental poisoned their own blood and executed a half of the Volturi are getting lower each day but he and his coven are Coming all of them but lost as all f remins of tree now got as all but blood poisoned but more than as all them you can't have children tey all had children but stopped Aging with us/witnesses but can't be killed pierced but crunched freely are made Immortal beings guarded but protected by them but burst freely violently but it came with a price crunching outside then with as all of te both passed out coldly then blacked out coldest but but suddenly burst freely tey as all of too them as all of tem Away then Wit ourselves but suden vanishing but no more than as all of trillions or more but too late the ery as all of them blacken veins created by Exploding more than as very over extremely too far much and many more than as all of them DESTROYED! But gained more than as all of Members ery as all Shattered but became Volturi coven guards and Assassins as all of them but no more than as all of tem but suddenly we were Immortal officially but never aged at all.
2/16/2016 c4 Debbie Hicks
5.
Chapter 5-Aftermath
oh my GOD What into my Spnal cord that I was getting dizziest but suddenly it turned out my gift yes a real but truest gift Shielding as all of I gcould then it really happened I began to feel very paler and the host was launched after I was born the Senior Volturi guard noticed me hunting botyh over dosing more and more then using my planetary ablity then over dosing by running away then with as all of the teens were Caught but taken but Vio;lently by Draining me of blood very AS ALL OF BY FORCIONG BUT BASHED CRUNCHED! very TOO HARDEST dranked but the host's both Vampire Venom was too much and many more I SCREAMED But Gone wITH AS ALL OF THEM BUT TIME-sPLIT BUT LEFT THE vEGETARIAN SELVES AS ALL OF THEM BY AS ALL OF BITES BRUISES SCARS AND lINES AS ALL With Ratlesnake blood replacing then it really did went very too wrong the very extremely far way overdosing of as allof blood loss then Alice found me Drained of blood and suddenly were next but with as All much many more as all of Witneses far extremely too much and all of them blasted outside then Volturi sighted me as all of them this one is Dead Cullens the blood is not human but with out of the Womb children as all of therm you Miriam Broken our law for entering as a human I blacked out but time-Smashed by Felix of the Volturi with as all of them time-killed but smashed that I could not remember as all of the families as allof them Alice what they done to them as all of teenagers we need blood from Animals we need to see families You as all of you born with a host killed are unable to see them but with your children are hybrids freed but blasted forth are breeders and they stopped having kids blasted freely but it came with as all of them came too late bursting outside from the damaged organs deactivated they all Vanished into the lab of the Volturi palace then more Guards then it happened crunching freely then were as all of the human blood gone into their own bodies were all dead of truest blood loss then all of the sudden was Extremely more pale by truest blood loss and became paler and sallow-skinned then it really happened never restbut unable to sleep tookon their habits where am I I can't remember my truest name and age and family members who are you Alice help me you left me on Genesis why you do that take me home to Vulcan to climb the steps of Mount Seleya to the hall of Ancient thought CARLISLE! That my memory loss was real with theitr own memory loss unable to reproduce at all but a E-Mail Friends due to her arrival killed more than all of Vulcans are from a ancient Extraterrestrial civilization from the planet Vulcan the both is one she is no longer human at all but has Golden eyes at death the each botyh Exploded you Miriam are a Cullen with the best friends forbidden to not to see families and friends and loved ones are into old age but your bodies as all of them are into leand/chemo wax combation you are unable to have children they have more kids then unable to have more kids anymore you are freed of life now Death we sentenced the Accused to die here then Alice sensed via her gift so my powers Emerged at longest last butmyself was fixed in time/space unable to be old or elderly but blasted freely Again but with as all of the descendants very far way extremely as all much my more than all of them followed then crunched freely that vanished from here then too late the as all parents all reincarnated as teenagers Again but came too late wre more than all of them but it was all over then lost the bodies to them for good but it really happened shattering then lost the need to mate then my nwest memories restarted and it is now the day after my attack then returned to Washington viciously blasted freely from the veryu as all of bodies taken from us/witnesses snapped from here pierced into the hearts from the Grey Sisters cursed us to be teenagers but cracking freely unable toage was a newly-made Immortal being all of them with both as all of them violently but it came too late then Was Immortal but eternal were more than all Around the world caused more than all blasted freely passed outside then the very as all bodies vanished Everything changed again twice Snapped forth from the corpses Again then Gone from here then into the lab for reasereach but studied of my newest life but killed as all of them then it was all already too latewith Prissy at my side was adopted then it came too son but too late then it altered our looks and our heritage deathly but ghastly nnot human at all but were Undead for good it was real but the bodies aged forgottern more as all ancient suddenly more guards flung free bitten had the looks of deceased then had them in both it causing the coffin was poisoned then buried in Volterra, Italy officially now far too extremely too deepest but cursing us with the river Styx by turning us/witnesses into Agents for the great Olympican gods and goddesssesbut made their Detites entered Godhood for real but made us Different then blazed with more than all of them then all of the sudden our powers shattered but became stronger then cracked out the truest mental shield Prissy was a Physical shield became trained wre granted weaponry and newswst clothes then a new life to be slayers and hunters in combat mode then blasted freely wrre as all that myself swore a ceremonial vow Lord Zeus Thunder heed thy blessing from the Gods and Goddesses grant us/witnesses a battle life style make us SLAYERS AND HUNTERS! I Sear ye Oaths to you Hera queen of Marriage of motherhood and childbirth I am your Warrior priestess grant thee blessing to all I am your Acolyte forever bound to ye my life I finalized my fluently Greek very well but that it came too late blasted freely with as all of them became their Avenged Slayers and hunters freed of now undead life to truest Immortality bound to them then they all of them vanished into their lab for real but for good then came the morning dead but suddenly they reported Aro they are gods and goddesses unable to die or age Ascended from the bodies brought in here then killed snapped off the heads became far more Ancient extremely Ageless but timeless but unchanged for good but they brned as all of them very violently ourselves were trained for war with them taught us to fight.
5.
Chapter 5-Aftermath
oh my GOD What into my Spnal cord that I was getting dizziest but suddenly it turned out my gift yes a real but truest gift Shielding as all of I gcould then it really happened I began to feel very paler and the host was launched after I was born the Senior Volturi guard noticed me hunting botyh over dosing more and more then using my planetary ablity then over dosing by running away then with as all of the teens were Caught but taken but Vio;lently by Draining me of blood very AS ALL OF BY FORCIONG BUT BASHED CRUNCHED! very TOO HARDEST dranked but the host's both Vampire Venom was too much and many more I SCREAMED But Gone wITH AS ALL OF THEM BUT TIME-sPLIT BUT LEFT THE vEGETARIAN SELVES AS ALL OF THEM BY AS ALL OF BITES BRUISES SCARS AND lINES AS ALL With Ratlesnake blood replacing then it really did went very too wrong the very extremely far way overdosing of as allof blood loss then Alice found me Drained of blood and suddenly were next but with as All much many more as all of Witneses far extremely too much and all of them blasted outside then Volturi sighted me as all of them this one is Dead Cullens the blood is not human but with out of the Womb children as all of therm you Miriam Broken our law for entering as a human I blacked out but time-Smashed by Felix of the Volturi with as all of them time-killed but smashed that I could not remember as all of the families as allof them Alice what they done to them as all of teenagers we need blood from Animals we need to see families You as all of you born with a host killed are unable to see them but with your children are hybrids freed but blasted forth are breeders and they stopped having kids blasted freely but it came with as all of them came too late bursting outside from the damaged organs deactivated they all Vanished into the lab of the Volturi palace then more Guards then it happened crunching freely then were as all of the human blood gone into their own bodies were all dead of truest blood loss then all of the sudden was Extremely more pale by truest blood loss and became paler and sallow-skinned then it really happened never restbut unable to sleep tookon their habits where am I I can't remember my truest name and age and family members who are you Alice help me you left me on Genesis why you do that take me home to Vulcan to climb the steps of Mount Seleya to the hall of Ancient thought CARLISLE! That my memory loss was real with theitr own memory loss unable to reproduce at all but a E-Mail Friends due to her arrival killed more than all of Vulcans are from a ancient Extraterrestrial civilization from the planet Vulcan the both is one she is no longer human at all but has Golden eyes at death the each botyh Exploded you Miriam are a Cullen with the best friends forbidden to not to see families and friends and loved ones are into old age but your bodies as all of them are into leand/chemo wax combation you are unable to have children they have more kids then unable to have more kids anymore you are freed of life now Death we sentenced the Accused to die here then Alice sensed via her gift so my powers Emerged at longest last butmyself was fixed in time/space unable to be old or elderly but blasted freely Again but with as all of the descendants very far way extremely as all much my more than all of them followed then crunched freely that vanished from here then too late the as all parents all reincarnated as teenagers Again but came too late wre more than all of them but it was all over then lost the bodies to them for good but it really happened shattering then lost the need to mate then my nwest memories restarted and it is now the day after my attack then returned to Washington viciously blasted freely from the veryu as all of bodies taken from us/witnesses snapped from here pierced into the hearts from the Grey Sisters cursed us to be teenagers but cracking freely unable toage was a newly-made Immortal being all of them with both as all of them violently but it came too late then Was Immortal but eternal were more than all Around the world caused more than all blasted freely passed outside then the very as all bodies vanished Everything changed again twice Snapped forth from the corpses Again then Gone from here then into the lab for reasereach but studied of my newest life but killed as all of them then it was all already too latewith Prissy at my side was adopted then it came too son but too late then it altered our looks and our heritage deathly but ghastly nnot human at all but were Undead for good it was real but the bodies aged forgottern more as all ancient suddenly more guards flung free bitten had the looks of deceased then had them in both it causing the coffin was poisoned then buried in Volterra, Italy officially now far too extremely too deepest but cursing us with the river Styx by turning us/witnesses into Agents for the great Olympican gods and goddesssesbut made their Detites entered Godhood for real but made us Different then blazed with more than all of them then all of the sudden our powers shattered but became stronger then cracked out the truest mental shield Prissy was a Physical shield became trained wre granted weaponry and newswst clothes then a new life to be slayers and hunters in combat mode then blasted freely wrre as all that myself swore a ceremonial vow Lord Zeus Thunder heed thy blessing from the Gods and Goddesses grant us/witnesses a battle life style make us SLAYERS AND HUNTERS! I Sear ye Oaths to you Hera queen of Marriage of motherhood and childbirth I am your Warrior priestess grant thee blessing to all I am your Acolyte forever bound to ye my life I finalized my fluently Greek very well but that it came too late blasted freely with as all of them became their Avenged Slayers and hunters freed of now undead life to truest Immortality bound to them then they all of them vanished into their lab for real but for good then came the morning dead but suddenly they reported Aro they are gods and goddesses unable to die or age Ascended from the bodies brought in here then killed snapped off the heads became far more Ancient extremely Ageless but timeless but unchanged for good but they brned as all of them very violently ourselves were trained for war with them taught us to fight.
2/15/2016 c4 Guest
I hope miri doesnt lead on all the boys (jacob and mike) like Bella did. Edward saved miris life she should be grateful. Miri is vulgar with the swearing.
I hope miri doesnt lead on all the boys (jacob and mike) like Bella did. Edward saved miris life she should be grateful. Miri is vulgar with the swearing.
1/20/2016 c2 Tiki
Yeah I can't. It's falling very flat and not enough description. Your focus is more on here and hardly anything outside her very little bubble. the peaches thing is used way to much and with no explanation but hey you may explain it later on but for me this is not a very good story and for you to say there isn't any good Edward oc stories. You really haven't looked very hard or maybe you don't know which ones are good. I don't usually give a bad review on stories. But I'm not writing this to be mean. Just giving my thoughts on how you could possibly fix it or maybe you even getting a beta or some one else to reread it and give you a better idea on what's wrong or right.
Yeah I can't. It's falling very flat and not enough description. Your focus is more on here and hardly anything outside her very little bubble. the peaches thing is used way to much and with no explanation but hey you may explain it later on but for me this is not a very good story and for you to say there isn't any good Edward oc stories. You really haven't looked very hard or maybe you don't know which ones are good. I don't usually give a bad review on stories. But I'm not writing this to be mean. Just giving my thoughts on how you could possibly fix it or maybe you even getting a beta or some one else to reread it and give you a better idea on what's wrong or right.
1/20/2016 c1 Tiki
You should try the story of sarelle that is a amazing Edward oc and it's a 2 part story. I've only read chapter 1 so I'll hold off on my review
You should try the story of sarelle that is a amazing Edward oc and it's a 2 part story. I've only read chapter 1 so I'll hold off on my review
1/9/2016 c3 
9Love.Fiction.2023
Great up to now. I assume you didn't do the car pArk scene were the car nearly crushes Bella
9Love.Fiction.2023Great up to now. I assume you didn't do the car pArk scene were the car nearly crushes Bella
1/6/2016 c3 Debbie Hicks
4.
Chapter 4.
Shield
that I 'Miriam Swan born a Stinking Godforsaken DHAMPIRE! after both Very far way much many more than all of the Drained Blood I needed to be born then it really happened Labor pains were much more powerful I was Snapping her Pelvs two of them aBroken her spinal cord that BIT Her right outside then my own Father with Blood Red eyes were horrified and into shock a new creation a Dhampire was born here I am fixed at 17 just 17 I'm 7 in Vampire years my parents broke up but it really happened Miriam listen to me I am not human your mother looks Young of the bite you granted her go to school and have fun I will he was Caught that day with both taken that Alice sighted my strange sorrowful walk refined that a Vision caught in her mind then it really happened I was floating with a elegance and grace of a Vampire then suddenly I had a Vision of my own I was born with powers Alice what is happening that myself began To Focus then I took no breath Suddenly Sang a Deathly Lament really sharper but powerful fortmed a Shield blocking their gifts I was born a Weapon a Atomic bomb I walk very somber but coldly long Brownish Blood red hair that I wanted a ARMY! RATTLESNAKES BITES APPEAR CRUNCH! That the Teenagers Screamed while burning in a INFERNO! suddenly Volturi heard of my deadliest gift was terrifying you there who turned as all of them that I made a ESCAPE THEN nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I screamed AND ripped into pieces without MY OWN HEAD Wwith their heads I pleaded but tore it off myself screamed but it came Were the Great Olympic gods/goddeses DESTROYED But resurrected But too LAte Time-Split and Shattered my life and was spluttering bothtell our masters found a weapon it was my carnivorous self with their carnivorous selves were gone from America took as all of the bodies very as allof them but returned with as all of the Carnivorous selves of us/them very far way too much many more extremely as all of them EXPLODED! But wre Volturi members had the corpses destroyed then murfered and came too late the state of Washiington was rocked by our unification of loss and grief our Bitten but truest parents murdered in the hands of the Volturi sent this e-mail Friends due of Miriam Swan is not human nor Vampire she is a Halfling we had as all families killed due to their crime you Supernaturals will raise as your own with Miriam Swan is fully grown but full matured but is a Adult will not reside in the house is punished with you Cullens broken the law for holding more than all your battlered bruised bodies you broken she is a mutant a Forbidden creation against us you Miri am accused in your last life are Sentenced to be EXILED With them! VOLTURI. Tthat Alice was horrified of my true nature who am I CARLISLE! That my newest blood was from as all killed animals from Around the world eaten via from my shield but their young as all of them blasted free but the animals turned into bones leaving all of was left then it was too late myself was Vegetarian so they the Supernatural all of them freed with ourselves lost the bodies to the Volturi then it was no more of from Around the world who reappeared via my gift then too late their bodies with our own crashed then lost then Vampires took over but Shifters were next with our both three then lost the ablity that no more but oiut of the womb children wre next but blasted forth then toolate burst freely then were shattered Now the Bodies were slain ourselves but it happened more Volturi guards blasted freely but it happened With each four with child who finally as all of them EXPLODED! but it caused with such violence they as all of them burst out more members and they brought as as all of them chosen from birth now Vampires then they had the looks of the deceased but were real Volturi members then his Assassins but it came too late had the blood of us and them myself was paler than normal but lost color of our skins.
4.
Chapter 4.
Shield
that I 'Miriam Swan born a Stinking Godforsaken DHAMPIRE! after both Very far way much many more than all of the Drained Blood I needed to be born then it really happened Labor pains were much more powerful I was Snapping her Pelvs two of them aBroken her spinal cord that BIT Her right outside then my own Father with Blood Red eyes were horrified and into shock a new creation a Dhampire was born here I am fixed at 17 just 17 I'm 7 in Vampire years my parents broke up but it really happened Miriam listen to me I am not human your mother looks Young of the bite you granted her go to school and have fun I will he was Caught that day with both taken that Alice sighted my strange sorrowful walk refined that a Vision caught in her mind then it really happened I was floating with a elegance and grace of a Vampire then suddenly I had a Vision of my own I was born with powers Alice what is happening that myself began To Focus then I took no breath Suddenly Sang a Deathly Lament really sharper but powerful fortmed a Shield blocking their gifts I was born a Weapon a Atomic bomb I walk very somber but coldly long Brownish Blood red hair that I wanted a ARMY! RATTLESNAKES BITES APPEAR CRUNCH! That the Teenagers Screamed while burning in a INFERNO! suddenly Volturi heard of my deadliest gift was terrifying you there who turned as all of them that I made a ESCAPE THEN nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I screamed AND ripped into pieces without MY OWN HEAD Wwith their heads I pleaded but tore it off myself screamed but it came Were the Great Olympic gods/goddeses DESTROYED But resurrected But too LAte Time-Split and Shattered my life and was spluttering bothtell our masters found a weapon it was my carnivorous self with their carnivorous selves were gone from America took as all of the bodies very as allof them but returned with as all of the Carnivorous selves of us/them very far way too much many more extremely as all of them EXPLODED! But wre Volturi members had the corpses destroyed then murfered and came too late the state of Washiington was rocked by our unification of loss and grief our Bitten but truest parents murdered in the hands of the Volturi sent this e-mail Friends due of Miriam Swan is not human nor Vampire she is a Halfling we had as all families killed due to their crime you Supernaturals will raise as your own with Miriam Swan is fully grown but full matured but is a Adult will not reside in the house is punished with you Cullens broken the law for holding more than all your battlered bruised bodies you broken she is a mutant a Forbidden creation against us you Miri am accused in your last life are Sentenced to be EXILED With them! VOLTURI. Tthat Alice was horrified of my true nature who am I CARLISLE! That my newest blood was from as all killed animals from Around the world eaten via from my shield but their young as all of them blasted free but the animals turned into bones leaving all of was left then it was too late myself was Vegetarian so they the Supernatural all of them freed with ourselves lost the bodies to the Volturi then it was no more of from Around the world who reappeared via my gift then too late their bodies with our own crashed then lost then Vampires took over but Shifters were next with our both three then lost the ablity that no more but oiut of the womb children wre next but blasted forth then toolate burst freely then were shattered Now the Bodies were slain ourselves but it happened more Volturi guards blasted freely but it happened With each four with child who finally as all of them EXPLODED! but it caused with such violence they as all of them burst out more members and they brought as as all of them chosen from birth now Vampires then they had the looks of the deceased but were real Volturi members then his Assassins but it came too late had the blood of us and them myself was paler than normal but lost color of our skins.
12/30/2015 c1 Seven Deadly
Could have done with some explanations/introductions for Prissy and the husband - and the bun in the oven as well, I guess. Felt a little lost.
Could have done with some explanations/introductions for Prissy and the husband - and the bun in the oven as well, I guess. Felt a little lost.
12/30/2015 c2 Katkloss
I already like Miri way better than I like Bella, so good job on that lol. I like the story so far and am excited to see where it goes!
I already like Miri way better than I like Bella, so good job on that lol. I like the story so far and am excited to see where it goes!
12/28/2015 c1 1Liana K. Hourglass
I guess, this is a good read. But, there are some parts that I have a hard time to get it; like their b-day ritual, the way they talk to each other through, etc.
1Liana K. HourglassI guess, this is a good read. But, there are some parts that I have a hard time to get it; like their b-day ritual, the way they talk to each other through, etc.