for Nakiri's Desire2/24/2016 c9 Guest
when are u going to update
when are u going to update
2/22/2016 c7 
12Gold Testament
It's not Soma's fault... It's Erina's. The god tongue was quick to give him that scar, but with them being at the same school, she is so slow. Also the blushing from Hisako was more Alice's fault. Plus it's not Soma's fault all those girls thought like perverts, or that Alice knocked him out for a bit.
12Gold TestamentIt's not Soma's fault... It's Erina's. The god tongue was quick to give him that scar, but with them being at the same school, she is so slow. Also the blushing from Hisako was more Alice's fault. Plus it's not Soma's fault all those girls thought like perverts, or that Alice knocked him out for a bit.
2/22/2016 c6 Gold Testament
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH MAN I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT! NIKUMI TRIED TO GET SOMA TO BACK OUT, AND INTO BED WITH HER RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE STUDENT BODY, AND HE JUST TEASED HER RIGHT INFRONT OF EVERYONE! Oh I can't wait for Erina to remember him. Megumi, Yuki, and Ryoko would probably then fight the Nakiri cousins for Soma.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH MAN I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT! NIKUMI TRIED TO GET SOMA TO BACK OUT, AND INTO BED WITH HER RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE STUDENT BODY, AND HE JUST TEASED HER RIGHT INFRONT OF EVERYONE! Oh I can't wait for Erina to remember him. Megumi, Yuki, and Ryoko would probably then fight the Nakiri cousins for Soma.
2/15/2016 c9 Freakster00f
Great story, goes to my Faves and wait for the next Update
Great story, goes to my Faves and wait for the next Update
2/12/2016 c8 DarrellTheAwesome
This was a really good story and I enjoy reading it.
I love how all the girls like him, but he's with Alice.
I hope you keep them together
This was a really good story and I enjoy reading it.
I love how all the girls like him, but he's with Alice.
I hope you keep them together
2/11/2016 c9 Guest
Love it..Love it..Love it..
The harem fic is still on right? Please, write it soon.
Love it..Love it..Love it..
The harem fic is still on right? Please, write it soon.
2/8/2016 c9 SesameChikn
I really love your story! It has just the right amount of twists and I can't wait to see what happens next. I also like that you incorporated Erina's father as a plot device to bring Erina and Souma together. Thanks for the story and keep it up!
I really love your story! It has just the right amount of twists and I can't wait to see what happens next. I also like that you incorporated Erina's father as a plot device to bring Erina and Souma together. Thanks for the story and keep it up!
2/2/2016 c9 Guest
Update
Update
2/2/2016 c9 1Ashcrow Knight
I dunno how I feel about this. I fell like, you made this more troublesome than it had to be for the sake of plot and to get them to like each other.
"Tch, I guess I have no choice, get ready! This is my Ultimate Kill Move!"
*"Ultimate Technique! Sure Kill! Heaven and Hell, Divine Rant of Unholy Flames!"*
Your version of Yukihira Souma seems to resemble his father more and he seems to be in peak physical condition. The way I see it, he had plenty opportune moments to save her.
I know he's not some kind of action hero with endless amounts of adrenaline to keep him going, but you kind of gave him that imagery early on.
The way I imagined it, he woulda picked up some kind of wooden weapon from the surrounding forest, bash the guy who came out in the head, and either wait in ambush for the driver, or sneak on into the passenger seat and take out the driver. The perpetrators will most likely have melee weapons, seeing as Guns in Japan are heavily regulated, unless they work for some kind of super top tier mafia/yakuza.
I'm all for character development and struggles, but don't nerf/purposely weaken your own characters to get to that point. We've seen enough whiny, bitchy, moany, and did I mention bitchy, Kurosaki Ichigo. Gohan, from DBZ/DBS/DBZGT is a Prime Example for this. He was like Plot Device to the max, one moment he's the strongest being in the universe, then they come up with some of the most bull shit reason into making him a weak character. You see how inconsistencies can become really annoying?
It's a common mistake I see many people do. They build a character that's too strong and realize that they don't really have a plausible way to make their character struggle, other than plot device to the max.
The easiest way to circumvent this is rather simple actually. You can put the character in unfavorable odds, like multiple enemies (How much, would vary based on the character's power.). Pit him/her against a far stronger enemy. Have them get poison, drugged or be exhausted from fighting too many enemies. There are many other ways, but the most important thing is to make it work, don't make it too unbelievable either. It's fiction, but even made up stories can become overly exaggerated and make a story uninteresting.
I sincerely hope this is the only occasion where you have to use plot device in this way. Every now and then is acceptable, but using it every time just shows lack of creativity.
*"Heaven and Hell, Unholy Sacred Rant, Sated!"*
Well, I'm hoping for an update soon and sorry for the rant, I couldn't keep it in, I see to much of it, even I'm not immune.
Anyways Ciao!
All Hail, Britannia!
All Hail, Lelouch!
1Ashcrow KnightI dunno how I feel about this. I fell like, you made this more troublesome than it had to be for the sake of plot and to get them to like each other.
"Tch, I guess I have no choice, get ready! This is my Ultimate Kill Move!"
*"Ultimate Technique! Sure Kill! Heaven and Hell, Divine Rant of Unholy Flames!"*
Your version of Yukihira Souma seems to resemble his father more and he seems to be in peak physical condition. The way I see it, he had plenty opportune moments to save her.
I know he's not some kind of action hero with endless amounts of adrenaline to keep him going, but you kind of gave him that imagery early on.
The way I imagined it, he woulda picked up some kind of wooden weapon from the surrounding forest, bash the guy who came out in the head, and either wait in ambush for the driver, or sneak on into the passenger seat and take out the driver. The perpetrators will most likely have melee weapons, seeing as Guns in Japan are heavily regulated, unless they work for some kind of super top tier mafia/yakuza.
I'm all for character development and struggles, but don't nerf/purposely weaken your own characters to get to that point. We've seen enough whiny, bitchy, moany, and did I mention bitchy, Kurosaki Ichigo. Gohan, from DBZ/DBS/DBZGT is a Prime Example for this. He was like Plot Device to the max, one moment he's the strongest being in the universe, then they come up with some of the most bull shit reason into making him a weak character. You see how inconsistencies can become really annoying?
It's a common mistake I see many people do. They build a character that's too strong and realize that they don't really have a plausible way to make their character struggle, other than plot device to the max.
The easiest way to circumvent this is rather simple actually. You can put the character in unfavorable odds, like multiple enemies (How much, would vary based on the character's power.). Pit him/her against a far stronger enemy. Have them get poison, drugged or be exhausted from fighting too many enemies. There are many other ways, but the most important thing is to make it work, don't make it too unbelievable either. It's fiction, but even made up stories can become overly exaggerated and make a story uninteresting.
I sincerely hope this is the only occasion where you have to use plot device in this way. Every now and then is acceptable, but using it every time just shows lack of creativity.
*"Heaven and Hell, Unholy Sacred Rant, Sated!"*
Well, I'm hoping for an update soon and sorry for the rant, I couldn't keep it in, I see to much of it, even I'm not immune.
Anyways Ciao!
All Hail, Britannia!
All Hail, Lelouch!