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for winter, the first chaos season

1/20/2021 c4 Yodadabs
You need to work on your grammar. As always sub to: TBNRFrags & Prestonplayz just sub to any of prestons channels.
1/20/2021 c2 yodadabs
Sub to: TBNRFrags Prestonplayz Blitz Baronvontactics Baronvongames Ctop Fudgy Wackeycast Chris Comodogaming Beutiful O.B. The Frustrated Gamer & Spycakes :)
1/20/2021 c1 yodadabs
longer chapters

Use code: TBNRFrags
4/7/2019 c2 ReallyShiPercico
10/14/2018 c6 Guest
More more more more
4/18/2018 c2 Guest
12/15/2017 c6 Demi-Dog
I absolutely love it!
3/12/2017 c6 paz
1/27/2017 c2 Ksendski
Succcccckkkks arse
10/13/2016 c6 5OrangeOwls
Nice story :D The story line is a bit confusing and you kinda need to space out your word better, umm just make more paragraphs your paragraphs are too long other than that Awesome!
1/15/2016 c3 6TheThymeHasCome
1/8/2016 c1 3SomethingAwesome-VeryAmazing

The grammar isn't necessarily atrocious, but it's still not okay. You need to capitalize the first letter of every name. This plot is very overused, but I suppose it is okay you wrote it... I have no control over what you write.

Plot hole number one: Children of Poseidon are like Poseidon. They are kind, humble, loyal, and not very smart.

Plot hole number two: They do not have fire powers, so they cannot kill Hydras alone.

Plot hole number three: A demigod can't just walk into camp and announce "I am a child of Poseidon!" and every camper will start cheering. That makes zero sense.

Plot hole number four: Percy's brother would love Percy. What's not to like?

Plot hole number five: The campers know Percy, and trust him. They would not alter their opinions on him based on the lies of a new camper they met days previously.

Plot hole number six: Annabeth and Percy are soul mates, that would NEVER happen.

Plot hole number seven: Chaos is an entity. Chaos literally means "The Gap" in Greek. How can Chaos appear before Percy and adopt him?

Plot hole number eight: Percy is the most powerful demigod in existance. Riptide would still be with him, and he would continue fighting until the end. And he could definitely take a pack of hell-hounds. Did you READ The Last Olympian?

Plot whole number nine: Why would Poseidon take away Percy's powers? For one thing, he can't do that, if anybody could do that, it would be Hecate, and for another, Percy is his favorite sob. That isn't going to change for some random kid. (Drake, was it?)

Plot hole number ten: Percy proved himself to Athena when he fell into Tarturus for her favorite daughter.

Plot hole number eleven: Percy would be sad, but he wouldn't take his anger out on Annabeth. Fatal flaw is loyalty, remember?

Plot hole number twelve: Since when in Thalia a camper?

Twelve plot holes for twelve olympians. How clever of you.

Great, in the sense that you used it, implies sarcasm. You do not have to elaborate, lest people look down upon you as an author.

That's all, please consider this, and by all means, enjoy writing your story.
1/8/2016 c3 1Rainyll27
well, Zoe won. so i am putting this story perzoe. thanks for all the reviews!
1/2/2016 c2 Guest
Bianca but if you do not bring her back Zoƫ.
1/2/2016 c2 OmegaDimensionWalker
make Percy's girlfriend zo
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