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10/15/2016 c2 Guest
Hey, I really want to see this story continue, because what I've read so far has gotten me interested. I really enjoyed the main character not being a Gary Stu, he actually reminds me of Shinji Ikari from Neon Genesis Evangelion, in the way that he's meant to be a realistic character.
6/22/2016 c2 Bill Cosby
Neat story
6/21/2016 c2 DriftingGem
Oliver Green make me think Oliver Queen aka the green arrow and the image of him acting this way was kinda funny but also distracting.
2/27/2016 c1 SirDicksmith
Go on. Do another chapter. In reeeeeeeeally interested in this story adnd i wanna se where this goes
1/15/2016 c1 derpmister

I've been reading 'Faker' and I've been enjoying it very much and when I saw you doing a RWBY self insert I thought it would be a welcome change to the less than stellar RWBY self inserts.

Now about the first chapter of the story is that you introduce an interesting concept of having the main character with a problematic mental condition which will allow for very interesting dialogue between characters and Olly but want I really see is his thought process when interacting with them however don't go through the route of having no dialogue and all it is him monologuing his thoughts.

I like you how make Olly very much full of flaws much like a human and how he judges without really knowing someone personally and how he knows people would be completely fucked if they were randomly transported into a different universe. Overall happy that I will not read about an overpowered, fuck me I'm brilliant Gary Stu.

Your style of wrighting kept me engaged throughout the chapter so there is no problem there.

The bad or cons I have to say about this is more about how much you wrote about Oliver in his dimension? world? whatever what I am trying to say is that while telling about your character and making us see all his traits can be good it is also a double edged sword as it tells us about your character but leaves nothing to mistery and could lead to him being predictable but it's only the first chapter so I could be totally wrong. A plus is if all his traits are shown now you can have more time developing him or yourself as a character.

My biggest concern with this story my fear of him being too much of an anti Gary Stu. Look I hate Mary/Gary Stus as much as the next but I worry that you will make Oliver too unlikable and unskilled to continue reading.

Review done and couple questions feel free not to answer.
- When in the timeline is Oliver at?
- Will Oliver have any fore knowledge about the show?
- Will Oliver be a huntsman in training? (IMO can't see him being a good one with only a year of training since huntsman start at 17)

Also if you want a good RWBY self insert you should check 'Reiteration' by Phailen its worth a read if you have the time.

Hope this was helpful.

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