for The Hero Bard7/4/2016 c23 
4DeathDealer Inc
Bad
1) It feels like a lot of characters kind of wound up in the background. Understandable, but still sad
2) I feel like with this many powerhouses in one place and duking it out, a few people would have died. Or at least gotten seriously hurt.
Good
1) It was fun watching Kaz's and TB's 'polite and fun evil' go head to head
2) That fight was pretty cool. Felt like how fights typically are; chaotic and intense
Ok, got to think of a new story...right, people like cool stories, and ghost stories make people cold, so I'll tell a ghost story. It was during the Vietnam War, a sniper and his team were doing night recon mission through the dark, wet and bleak jungle wilderness...
1) What did TB use to teleport this time?
2) Do Mithril and Aria look alike or something? If so, why was this never before mentioned?
4DeathDealer IncBad
1) It feels like a lot of characters kind of wound up in the background. Understandable, but still sad
2) I feel like with this many powerhouses in one place and duking it out, a few people would have died. Or at least gotten seriously hurt.
Good
1) It was fun watching Kaz's and TB's 'polite and fun evil' go head to head
2) That fight was pretty cool. Felt like how fights typically are; chaotic and intense
Ok, got to think of a new story...right, people like cool stories, and ghost stories make people cold, so I'll tell a ghost story. It was during the Vietnam War, a sniper and his team were doing night recon mission through the dark, wet and bleak jungle wilderness...
1) What did TB use to teleport this time?
2) Do Mithril and Aria look alike or something? If so, why was this never before mentioned?
7/4/2016 c23 60Falneou17
Well, considering you reminded us readers three times already… I think it should be clear that we have to check Leon's dream sequence x3 on a side note, it's a shame that Copper is slowly dropping out of this story… I hope you can manage :) scratch that, I KNOW that you can manage :) now back to the story! 700 starting off big time… I feel like he's referencing a character I know, but I can't recall said character's name… either that, or it is just a big coincidence. Either way, I like how you're depicting him! Ouch… Then you know that she's really desperate… darn… good thing I checked back to see Leon's dream sequence again XD Leon reminds me of Shadow… I know, random, but I had to get it out there XD well… she could hold him back with wind… or she could run her motor-mouth and distract him… though, considering what's going on, doubt the latter's much of an option, huh? Oh yeah, those guys were still there, too XD which brings up the next question: if Leon was with Orange, 700 with Mithril and The Boss with Kaz, what were all the others doing? Either way, a very nice chapter! Looking forward to the next one now!
60Falneou17Well, considering you reminded us readers three times already… I think it should be clear that we have to check Leon's dream sequence x3 on a side note, it's a shame that Copper is slowly dropping out of this story… I hope you can manage :) scratch that, I KNOW that you can manage :) now back to the story! 700 starting off big time… I feel like he's referencing a character I know, but I can't recall said character's name… either that, or it is just a big coincidence. Either way, I like how you're depicting him! Ouch… Then you know that she's really desperate… darn… good thing I checked back to see Leon's dream sequence again XD Leon reminds me of Shadow… I know, random, but I had to get it out there XD well… she could hold him back with wind… or she could run her motor-mouth and distract him… though, considering what's going on, doubt the latter's much of an option, huh? Oh yeah, those guys were still there, too XD which brings up the next question: if Leon was with Orange, 700 with Mithril and The Boss with Kaz, what were all the others doing? Either way, a very nice chapter! Looking forward to the next one now!
7/1/2016 c22 Falneou17
Don't be so hard on yourself for missing a day ;) I'm late by five with reviewing this… yeah, we shouldn't mess with Lyra, we've already established as much earlier… so… we went from "cutting them open" to "tickle torture"? While I won't deny that it is amusing, isn't it a bit… big… of a change of pace… to be making the jump between the two? I'm with Kaz, it actually did XD and another teleportation… who knew…? Darkrai likes charades… yeah… I guess you guys are making Leon scarier than Silver in this story… which says a lot… wait… does that mean that the authors are alongside Orange's group for them to have to dodge rotten fruit aimed at you guys? Good ol' Orange XD well that's a nice twist of fate XD I'd originally say that the flashback was a bit hard to figure out that it was a flashback, the switch being relatively sudden, but then Lyra's line three lines later… seems like you guys are back at it, great job! Looking forward to the next chapter!
Don't be so hard on yourself for missing a day ;) I'm late by five with reviewing this… yeah, we shouldn't mess with Lyra, we've already established as much earlier… so… we went from "cutting them open" to "tickle torture"? While I won't deny that it is amusing, isn't it a bit… big… of a change of pace… to be making the jump between the two? I'm with Kaz, it actually did XD and another teleportation… who knew…? Darkrai likes charades… yeah… I guess you guys are making Leon scarier than Silver in this story… which says a lot… wait… does that mean that the authors are alongside Orange's group for them to have to dodge rotten fruit aimed at you guys? Good ol' Orange XD well that's a nice twist of fate XD I'd originally say that the flashback was a bit hard to figure out that it was a flashback, the switch being relatively sudden, but then Lyra's line three lines later… seems like you guys are back at it, great job! Looking forward to the next chapter!
6/28/2016 c22 26BlueCelebi
Gah! The Boss is so evil! WAAAAAAAAAAH! *sobs*
Mithril: I CAN'T BELIEVE HE USED A CHILD! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *sobs*
26BlueCelebiGah! The Boss is so evil! WAAAAAAAAAAH! *sobs*
Mithril: I CAN'T BELIEVE HE USED A CHILD! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *sobs*
6/27/2016 c22 4DeathDealer Inc
Bad
1) Human sacrifice? Eh, that's kind of on the checklist of "things one must do to be a B-grade villain"
2) Might be a personal preference, but all these ancient and mystical artifacts coming out of the woodwork kind of detract from the main characters' agency. I mean, are they really that great if they have to rely on magical items to keep the plot moving?
3) It seems like kind of cheating to just have "and then the boss teleported them there."
Good
1) Well, it wasn't dull. Really feels like things have been building up to this. It feels like we're rapidly approaching the end and everything is cranking up in intensity, which is really how the 'just before the end' parts of a story should be (unless this isn't near the end, in which case...well, good luck topping this when the actual 'just before the end' part starts)
So, after a whole year of having his mouth stitched, they finally cut his mouth open so he could speak again. When he did, the elders were amazed, because everything he spoke was wise and intelligent. It turned out that while he wasn't able to talk, he started to listen a lot more, and eventually became a genius. Moral of the story: Shut up every now and then, and maybe you won't be so stupid. Tell your children.
1) With so many heroes forming groups, they're kind of a small army. An army that is half-comprised of incompetent people (which for some reason is such a valued trait in heroes here in the 21st century), but an army nonetheless. Is the big bad evil guy or the evil fox spirit thing really any threat at this point due to the sheer number of people coming after them that have hero armor? (the inability to be killed due to being protagonists)
2) Why exactly did the boss want all these people here? And how does he know who some of them are; I'm pretty sure he's never even met Orange until his minions brought him to this scene
3) Why didn't the boss just teleport Team Orange to the mountain?
4DeathDealer IncBad
1) Human sacrifice? Eh, that's kind of on the checklist of "things one must do to be a B-grade villain"
2) Might be a personal preference, but all these ancient and mystical artifacts coming out of the woodwork kind of detract from the main characters' agency. I mean, are they really that great if they have to rely on magical items to keep the plot moving?
3) It seems like kind of cheating to just have "and then the boss teleported them there."
Good
1) Well, it wasn't dull. Really feels like things have been building up to this. It feels like we're rapidly approaching the end and everything is cranking up in intensity, which is really how the 'just before the end' parts of a story should be (unless this isn't near the end, in which case...well, good luck topping this when the actual 'just before the end' part starts)
So, after a whole year of having his mouth stitched, they finally cut his mouth open so he could speak again. When he did, the elders were amazed, because everything he spoke was wise and intelligent. It turned out that while he wasn't able to talk, he started to listen a lot more, and eventually became a genius. Moral of the story: Shut up every now and then, and maybe you won't be so stupid. Tell your children.
1) With so many heroes forming groups, they're kind of a small army. An army that is half-comprised of incompetent people (which for some reason is such a valued trait in heroes here in the 21st century), but an army nonetheless. Is the big bad evil guy or the evil fox spirit thing really any threat at this point due to the sheer number of people coming after them that have hero armor? (the inability to be killed due to being protagonists)
2) Why exactly did the boss want all these people here? And how does he know who some of them are; I'm pretty sure he's never even met Orange until his minions brought him to this scene
3) Why didn't the boss just teleport Team Orange to the mountain?
6/20/2016 c21 26BlueCelebi
Mithril: HEY! I ONLY HAD ONE LINE! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL AND EVIL MITHRIL WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS- *is tackled and shoved into bag*
One moment, please!
-We are currently experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by-
I apologize for that. Pretend nothing happened. She's just in a bad mood because Daichi stole all her candy.
My favorite part was the Monopoly. Very funny.
I KNEW IT WAS ZYGARDE! HA! I am rather curious as to whether it will have a big part in the story or not.
26BlueCelebiMithril: HEY! I ONLY HAD ONE LINE! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL AND EVIL MITHRIL WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS- *is tackled and shoved into bag*
One moment, please!
-We are currently experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by-
I apologize for that. Pretend nothing happened. She's just in a bad mood because Daichi stole all her candy.
My favorite part was the Monopoly. Very funny.
I KNEW IT WAS ZYGARDE! HA! I am rather curious as to whether it will have a big part in the story or not.
6/20/2016 c21 60Falneou17
Oh wow… considering how deadly some of these characters are I can't wait to see how deadly they can become once they get their hands on those Yul berries! Darn… the dreaded Gin Glare… fear the glares of the Gin family! True… while a lot of stones are gray, not all of them are… while I must… applaud… Gold for his persistence… he should know by now that it won't work… that's… very thoughtful of Eleanor… what was it that Crystal called it? "R.I.F."? That aside, considering this is medieval, how would she send the message? That's what I said, Kara… that's what I said… al…right… personal feelings regarding Zygarde aside, why are you guys involving that thing? Well, guess I'll find out eventually…
You already mentioned how it (probably) wouldn't be up to par with the previous chapter, and you aren't wrong with that unfortunately, but that's fine. Some chapters don't turn out as well as we first hope it would; all you guys have to do is make sure you take this to move forward in the future. I'll be looking forward to the next chapter :)
60Falneou17Oh wow… considering how deadly some of these characters are I can't wait to see how deadly they can become once they get their hands on those Yul berries! Darn… the dreaded Gin Glare… fear the glares of the Gin family! True… while a lot of stones are gray, not all of them are… while I must… applaud… Gold for his persistence… he should know by now that it won't work… that's… very thoughtful of Eleanor… what was it that Crystal called it? "R.I.F."? That aside, considering this is medieval, how would she send the message? That's what I said, Kara… that's what I said… al…right… personal feelings regarding Zygarde aside, why are you guys involving that thing? Well, guess I'll find out eventually…
You already mentioned how it (probably) wouldn't be up to par with the previous chapter, and you aren't wrong with that unfortunately, but that's fine. Some chapters don't turn out as well as we first hope it would; all you guys have to do is make sure you take this to move forward in the future. I'll be looking forward to the next chapter :)
6/19/2016 c21 4DeathDealer Inc
Bad
1) Lyra is seeming like a pretty static character, even more so than Gold. Whereas Gold is showing to have hidden depths, it's seeming like Lyra is just exactly who she appears to be and doesn't show any sign of undergoing change
Good
1) Liked the exchange between Lyra, Gold, and Gen
As punishment for speaking during mass, it was decided that the stupid monk's stupid mouth would be sewed shut for a year. After the year was over... (to be continued)
1) Court mages? There's magic in this world?
2) There's Christianity, Hinduism, Taoism, AND Japan in this world? I would suspect this just takes place on Earth, except nothing up until this point fit with any geographical landscape on Earth
4DeathDealer IncBad
1) Lyra is seeming like a pretty static character, even more so than Gold. Whereas Gold is showing to have hidden depths, it's seeming like Lyra is just exactly who she appears to be and doesn't show any sign of undergoing change
Good
1) Liked the exchange between Lyra, Gold, and Gen
As punishment for speaking during mass, it was decided that the stupid monk's stupid mouth would be sewed shut for a year. After the year was over... (to be continued)
1) Court mages? There's magic in this world?
2) There's Christianity, Hinduism, Taoism, AND Japan in this world? I would suspect this just takes place on Earth, except nothing up until this point fit with any geographical landscape on Earth
6/5/2016 c20 60Falneou17
Technically, Gold, Silver was right… that was before Gold was a certified trainer, after all, so can you blame the redhead? Here's the thing I have to warn you guys: having such a dense, collected passage of text doesn't really add up for a smooth flow of the story… this is a HUGE shame because, as we all know, your writing is awesome… it's just a huge destroyer of both mood and flow for a passage of text to be THAT dense… she's not interested in your stories Gold XD you should've known better, considering who her father is and all XD alright, that's kind of… depressing… did anybody make a call that the Boss has something to do with all of this? And here we got Eleanor's caring side X3 wise words, Eleanor, wise words… ohohoho, DarkFlare taking the spotlight in all the battles, huh x3? Wow… so they think that just because they found a Mega Stone, there will be a Key Stone there, too? Given, Kara apparently forgot to mention that there is a specific Mega Stone for each Pokémon… oh well, they'll find out eventually… wow… while an interesting take, I admit I wasn't exactly expecting that game-a-thon… it was a fun one, though! Oh, bloodshed, eh? In a K plus rated fic? It'll be interesting to see how you guys will pull that off!
60Falneou17Technically, Gold, Silver was right… that was before Gold was a certified trainer, after all, so can you blame the redhead? Here's the thing I have to warn you guys: having such a dense, collected passage of text doesn't really add up for a smooth flow of the story… this is a HUGE shame because, as we all know, your writing is awesome… it's just a huge destroyer of both mood and flow for a passage of text to be THAT dense… she's not interested in your stories Gold XD you should've known better, considering who her father is and all XD alright, that's kind of… depressing… did anybody make a call that the Boss has something to do with all of this? And here we got Eleanor's caring side X3 wise words, Eleanor, wise words… ohohoho, DarkFlare taking the spotlight in all the battles, huh x3? Wow… so they think that just because they found a Mega Stone, there will be a Key Stone there, too? Given, Kara apparently forgot to mention that there is a specific Mega Stone for each Pokémon… oh well, they'll find out eventually… wow… while an interesting take, I admit I wasn't exactly expecting that game-a-thon… it was a fun one, though! Oh, bloodshed, eh? In a K plus rated fic? It'll be interesting to see how you guys will pull that off!
6/5/2016 c20 26BlueCelebi
YES! BLOODSHED! KILLING! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA- All: O.O
-Uh...I mean...oh no! Bloodshed! Nu!
All: O.O
Mithril:...I think you lost them.
...Dang.
26BlueCelebiYES! BLOODSHED! KILLING! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA- All: O.O
-Uh...I mean...oh no! Bloodshed! Nu!
All: O.O
Mithril:...I think you lost them.
...Dang.
6/5/2016 c20 4DeathDealer Inc
King Gold isn't that half bad at stealth, judging by how he managed to sneak out of that castle (at least, his child self wasn't). If he could get the killing people thing down I'd say he might have made a half-decent ninja
Bad
1) I dunno. I guess my only thing is that the chapter was kind of...meh. Nothing really bad, nothing really good; which I suppose is a bad thing in itself.
Good
1) It was nice learning some of the backstories; those are great for understanding a character. I'm starting to get a 'Robert Baratheon' feel from King Gold; a guy who was a pretty great fighter and adventurer, but a terrible administrator with no common sense
So, as I said last week, this monk was really stupid. And talked a lot. And nobody liked him. Then, one day, he talked during mass, which is a really big deal for monks...
1) So, what kind of information did Kara ever relay to the queen? And how did it ever help anyone?
2) What was up with that last segment?
3) Will we learn more about silver? Was he an assassin or something?
4DeathDealer IncKing Gold isn't that half bad at stealth, judging by how he managed to sneak out of that castle (at least, his child self wasn't). If he could get the killing people thing down I'd say he might have made a half-decent ninja
Bad
1) I dunno. I guess my only thing is that the chapter was kind of...meh. Nothing really bad, nothing really good; which I suppose is a bad thing in itself.
Good
1) It was nice learning some of the backstories; those are great for understanding a character. I'm starting to get a 'Robert Baratheon' feel from King Gold; a guy who was a pretty great fighter and adventurer, but a terrible administrator with no common sense
So, as I said last week, this monk was really stupid. And talked a lot. And nobody liked him. Then, one day, he talked during mass, which is a really big deal for monks...
1) So, what kind of information did Kara ever relay to the queen? And how did it ever help anyone?
2) What was up with that last segment?
3) Will we learn more about silver? Was he an assassin or something?
6/5/2016 c20 Magic Type
How out the next chapter (Or the one after) has Orange getting fat?
How out the next chapter (Or the one after) has Orange getting fat?
6/3/2016 c19 60Falneou17
You shouldn't be sorry; we are all well aware that you are really busy in real life, with this being the end of the academic year and all… anyways… yikes, the "saying in a sweet voice" trap… hurry and give her the information she wants, Mith! Figures Ad would show his mom's side at a time like this XD yup, sums him up pretty nicely… on a related note, is this foreshadowing his past to be brought into the equation? Ouch, to think that Lukree actually made a reasonable point; towards Darkrai no less XD wait… sure Darkrai is capable of inducing nightmares to sleeping foes, but how is it able to sense when targets are asleep; especially when we take into consideration the distance between it and Orange? Yup, the foreshadowing is real; I must say I'm impressed! Though, admittedly, the passage of his past was a bit on the rigid side if you know what I mean… it could be because I focused more attention on that particular section than on any other, though XD Lunar Wing being as powerful as ever… Lapis means business O.O … and so does Silver (but we all already knew that x3)… ouch… Silver seriously doesn't mess around… of course! Seriously Crys… when was there a time when they DIDN'T have a problem? Alright, I have no idea whether it was intended or not, but 700 really reminds me of Silver there… I mean Silver the Hedgehog, not Silver from Pokémon… seems like we're reaching a possible turning point here; can't wait to read it!
60Falneou17You shouldn't be sorry; we are all well aware that you are really busy in real life, with this being the end of the academic year and all… anyways… yikes, the "saying in a sweet voice" trap… hurry and give her the information she wants, Mith! Figures Ad would show his mom's side at a time like this XD yup, sums him up pretty nicely… on a related note, is this foreshadowing his past to be brought into the equation? Ouch, to think that Lukree actually made a reasonable point; towards Darkrai no less XD wait… sure Darkrai is capable of inducing nightmares to sleeping foes, but how is it able to sense when targets are asleep; especially when we take into consideration the distance between it and Orange? Yup, the foreshadowing is real; I must say I'm impressed! Though, admittedly, the passage of his past was a bit on the rigid side if you know what I mean… it could be because I focused more attention on that particular section than on any other, though XD Lunar Wing being as powerful as ever… Lapis means business O.O … and so does Silver (but we all already knew that x3)… ouch… Silver seriously doesn't mess around… of course! Seriously Crys… when was there a time when they DIDN'T have a problem? Alright, I have no idea whether it was intended or not, but 700 really reminds me of Silver there… I mean Silver the Hedgehog, not Silver from Pokémon… seems like we're reaching a possible turning point here; can't wait to read it!
5/29/2016 c19 26BlueCelebi
How dare you guys be late updating! Haha, I'm just kidding! I'm one to talk... T-T Anyhoo...
Hm, Nicolas has magic power? Didn't know that. It's also possible that you mentioned it earlier and I just completely missed it like the idiot I am.
Stay strong, Mith. Overcome the fear of the scary woman. I believe at you. Not in you, but at you. Do not question.
In fact, I believe at ALL of you. Go, Team Orange! You can do it! Go, Team Crystal! You can do it!
Gold: Hey, why is it team Crystal?! It should be Team Gold!
Silver: *whacks him* Shush.
26BlueCelebiHow dare you guys be late updating! Haha, I'm just kidding! I'm one to talk... T-T Anyhoo...
Hm, Nicolas has magic power? Didn't know that. It's also possible that you mentioned it earlier and I just completely missed it like the idiot I am.
Stay strong, Mith. Overcome the fear of the scary woman. I believe at you. Not in you, but at you. Do not question.
In fact, I believe at ALL of you. Go, Team Orange! You can do it! Go, Team Crystal! You can do it!
Gold: Hey, why is it team Crystal?! It should be Team Gold!
Silver: *whacks him* Shush.
5/29/2016 c14 PokechuThePikachu
NEWL:
INSUBORDINATION ALERT!
LBG:
Le Gasp! Lukree really isn't a banana! And not only that, she's royalty! Wait, Lucario have a monarchy?
LEN:
Oh no... Not the pit...
MAK:
Mithril is just to impatient...
OLK:
The power of a friendship square WILL be proven, Leon! Give up now, and you may leave with your life!
The Castle:
I feel so, so sorry for them.
NEWL:
INSUBORDINATION ALERT!
LBG:
Le Gasp! Lukree really isn't a banana! And not only that, she's royalty! Wait, Lucario have a monarchy?
LEN:
Oh no... Not the pit...
MAK:
Mithril is just to impatient...
OLK:
The power of a friendship square WILL be proven, Leon! Give up now, and you may leave with your life!
The Castle:
I feel so, so sorry for them.