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for Star's Journey: The Night Watch

12/9/2016 c16 30KM2000
First of all, congratulations! *throws confetti*

This was a nice end to a lovely story. I really enjoyed reading it. :) It was great to see Zan and Star finally kiss (and I really loved how you wrote that scene) and also Doom's POV of seeing Iris and the Zebak kids in Deltora. I found your portrayal of Doom really interesting, actually. I always imagined that Doom does care deeply about his daughter and thinks about her a lot, but in this chapter you've portrayed Doom as not thinking much about her at all and being bitter about that. I liked how Iris and the Zebak kids’ arrival in Deltora influenced Doom in such a way that he resolved to visit his daughter in Del as soon as he could. It was heartwarming to see. :) And I totally got a 'Doran the Dragonlover' vibe when Doom referred to Hopian as his friend. :D

And it was interesting to see what Rowan’s been getting up to back in Rin, and nice that he finally got news about his missing family. Again, he reminded me a lot of Endon for some reason… :/ It was so nice to see him cheer up after being depressed for so long.

Also, I really loved how Iris changed in this story. She was so annoying in the beginning, but in the end matured and let go of her old fear and prejudice toward the Zebak race. I loved how she felt so sad about parting with the Zebak kids once they were safely in Deltora. :’( Part of me hopes that she’ll be able to visit them in Deltora one day, after her parents un-ground her.

The only thing I noticed is that you spelled ‘Lief’ as ‘Leif’. And I also noticed that your writing seemed to flow more during the sections in Star and Rowan’s POVs than in Doom’s. Not that I’m complaining or anything. I just found it interesting. :)

So, can we expect a story about the Zebak kids settling into Deltora? Because that would be cool. :D
11/30/2016 c15 KM2000
Hey there, sorry for reviewing a bit late. I really liked this latest chapter. It was nice to finally see the plot moving forward again. I know that the filler was necessary (and I did enjoy it) but I'm so excited to see Iris sail off to Deltora! :D It's kinda what I've been waiting for this whole time, haha. I found the part where Zeel, Star and the other Rinfolk were telling Iris messages for their families very heartwarming, and what Zeel said especially touched me. I hope she and Rowan can be together again soon!

And I kinda agree that it isn't the best time for Rowan to find out about his new baby son, especially via someone else. This news is the sort that should be said face-to-face.

That's all I can think of writing. Can't wait until the next chapter! :)
7/31/2016 c13 KM2000
Finally, another update! :) Great chapter! It was so heartwarming seeing Zeel supporting Star and listening to Star's fears and worries about Zan. And again, Zeel reminded me so much of Sharn in this chapter, in the way she was comforting Star and just the strength she showed and the way she spoke. Those two ladies should meet at some point- it would be awesome seeing them react to each other.

I was so happy when Star finally decided to confess her love for Zan, and it was a bit of a relief to see her finally say that she loves him and wants to stay with him. And then Alanis had to try and ruin everything. :( Seriously, I almost wanted to slap her when she said that Star wasn't in her right mind after Star told her that she was thinking about not going back to Rin. She had no call to say that to her. And it's none of Alanis' business anyway whether Star stays or goes back to Rin. It's Star's choice and Alanis will just have to deal with it already. Hopefully Star will just ignore Alanis and follow her heart when it comes to making the choice.

I really want Star to stay with Zan because she's obviously happiest with him and she'll probably end up being really miserable if she chooses to go back to Rin and be without him. I think that, though the choice seems like a difficult one to Star now, at the very end it will be relatively easy for her to decide whether to go back to Rin or not. After all, like she says in this chapter, she's happiest with Zan and she doesn't even miss Rin. And she'll probably have a lot of regrets if she chooses to go back in the end.

Anyway, that's all I have to say. :) Great job with this chapter and I hope to see another update here soon! :)
6/17/2016 c12 KM2000
What a beautiful chapter! :) It was worth the wait! I loved the awkward conversation between Zan and Star, it was so cute and heartwarming. It certainly showed us a lot about their character. Poor Zan really needs to spit it out already, unless he wants someone else to do it for him, haha. :D I can totally imagine Star just blurting it out at some point, once she gets sick enough of all his dithering about it. ;) Loved how practical and no-nonsense Star sounded compared to Zan when talking about the events of the previous chapter. Zan was so passionate and emotional, but Star just was just so matter-of-fact and Zan was amazed at it. You gotta love the dynamic between them. :D

Star and Zan's comments about Star's new clothes reminded me of Jewel and Britta's reactions about the colourful shirt Britta sews herself in The Towers of Illica. :D And the way Star and Zan were with each other kinda reminded me of how Britta and Sky interact.

So Iris has decided to captain the Zebak ship after all. And to Deltora, of all places! :D Just reading about it in this chapter made me squee inside! :D I think that the line which Star's unsure of is referring to Iris, since Iris is the one who's about to set out on a journey. And Iris is probably very reluctant about what she's chosen to do, since it means she'll be captaining a ship full of her people's ancient enemy. Not sure why the Sigil would speak to her in the way Star described-maybe it's the Great Serpent speaking to Iris through the Sigil?

I have to wonder, how will the Zebak children mix in with the people of Deltora? Where will they go- to Del, to Rithmere, or to some random village in Deltora's west? Keids talked about how the ship will get to Deltora, but what will happen once they arrive there? The royal family would have to be told about the Zebak refugees, and it would be up to them to decide what should be done with the Zebak children. I'm guessing (and hoping) that Iris will gain some affection for the kids and will end up staying to make sure that they end up in safe hands once they are in Deltora, before returning to Maris herself. And I really hope that certain DQ characters will make an appearance... :D
Also, since the Zebak kids will be bringing news from the west, the people of Deltora will (possibly) soon know about the Zebak rebellion that is underway. What will they do? Probably nothing, since it's none of their business, but I do wonder if they'll end up sending some ships to help the rebellion (perhaps at the very end?). Either way, it'd be interesting to see their reaction to hearing about the Zebak rebellion.

Thora's thoughts about General Azan suspecting something are pretty ominous. I hope nothing too bad will happen to the crew in the coming chapters. It would be horrible if Azan acted on his suspicions and damned a few people (or even everyone) in the rebellion. :(

Star is so adorably oblivious to love, just like Britta and Jasmine. And it's so funny that practically everyone knew about Zan's love for her long before she found out. I wonder how many more times Star will kick herself for that? :D She really should have realised ages ago that Zan's in love with her.

Anyway, I loved this chapter and will be looking forward to the next one. :)
5/21/2016 c11 KM2000
What a great chapter! :) I enjoyed reading it.

I did notice a few typos though. 'Star could hear a tart smile on Iris' face' should be 'Star could see a tart smile on Iris' face'. Saying that one could hear a smile on someone's face doesn't even make sense. Can Star actually see Iris' face in this scene? If so, then 'Star could see a tart smile on Iris' face' would make sense. If not, then something like 'Star could (almost) hear a smile in Iris' voice as she spoke' would make more sense. Also, at one point I saw a typo in the word 'eyes' (though I can't remember which sentence I saw it in). That's all I noticed, I think. :)

The pirates were cute. It was adorably funny to see them go all fanboy/fangirl on the Crusaders. I also liked how they're different from what we (and the crew) were expecting. I know I was expecting a bunch of fearsome pirates with pirate accents, but instead we got something very different. It was refreshing to see. :)

I didn't expect the whole business with Iris and the possibility of her captaining a Zebak-crewed ship back to Maris. I think that would be interesting to see, and would really give Iris' character some development. I mean, the Zebak are her ancient enemy, and now she has to captain a ship made up entirely of Zebak people. It'd be awesome to see how her views might be altered because of such an experience. :) Honestly, I really expected Iris to stay in Zebak-Land for the rest of the revolution, because before now there wasn't any way for anyone to go back to Maris. I really hope she ends up going, though it would mean she doesn't appear as much in the coming books. It would be nice to see Rowan finally learn about the fates of his wife, daughter, his niece and his friends' children. Do you think we'll actually see Rowan finding out about this and see his reaction to the news? Because that would be awesome. :D Imagine his reaction to finding out that he has a baby son!

The pirate accent seriously reminded me of Captain Gripp from Star of Deltora, and Captain Maz from DragonFable (or even Quintilius Rousse from Kushiel's Legacy! :D). The story behind Keids' accent is interesting, as is this notion of 'cultural disconnect'. I haven't experienced it myself, though I have a sort-of multicultural heritage. Though the two cultures I've known aren't drastically different from each other. They're different more in terms of politeness expectations and customs/festivals.

And I don't know who Mr Rogers is. Google says he's some sort of minister. Hmmm...

Anyway, this is a great chapter and I can't wait until the next one! :)
4/4/2016 c8 9PJ Blindclown
Very nice, as usual. I think I would've liked to have a bit more Star and Zan in here, but ah well.

I was captivated by the riddle, but didn't understand the religious connection.

I also love how you've got Vivi and Zizi bonding with Alanis and Leah. It shows how far they've all come since the first book.
Keep it Up,
PJ
3/16/2016 c7 PJ Blindclown
A short chapter, but a powerful one. No doubt this chapter is going to lead to loads of important things to come in this story.
Keep it Up,
PJ
3/15/2016 c6 PJ Blindclown
Oh, far out...

My heart just about broke when I read this, and then broke again when I read it a second time. Zan, he's just so cute... He gets cuter with every book. You're doing this so well.

I won't say too much here, but you're inspiring me bigtime to get going on my own stuff.
Keep it up,
PJ
3/4/2016 c5 PJ Blindclown
Once again, beautiful. You have this way of putting in such poignant moments (such as those in this chapter) to such charming domestic backdrops (the burning of the cookies). I don't bake for that very reason. Lol.

But back to the point, seeing Vivi growing and learning is really beautiful here. It's so easy to think that street children choose to be that way, and there's nothing that can be done about it. All they really need is a bit of love, attention and a few boundries here and there, and they can be just like any other child. I think that Vivi and Zizi are my favourite characters in these stories, especially after reading this chapter. Well done!

I also enjoyed the revelation about why Star had been pulled out of school. I guessed that that had happened, but didn't know until now just why. Just like Rodda, you're tackling all these tough issues in a way that we can all relate to. I love it.
PJ
3/4/2016 c4 PJ Blindclown
The main thing that struck me in this chapter was the interaction between Star and Zeel. I loved the small glimps we got into how Zeel is feeling, trying to care for two very different children who are at two very different stages of development.

I did enjoy reading about how Forley and Leah made the ice though, that was really cool. No pun intended there.
PJ
3/4/2016 c3 PJ Blindclown
Oh, cuteness...

Unos knows Star's feelings better than she does, and Zan... He's confused about his own feelings, and all this to the backdrop of a cold, tea and biscuits, and a newspaper... You've done this so beautifully.

It's so hard to pull this sorta thing off, as the simplest things are often the most difficult to write, but yet again, you've done it. Good on you! :)
PJ
1/28/2016 c2 PJ Blindclown
Hmmm, could Star have inherited the runny nose thing from Rowan?

I liked how we got the first part of this chapter from the man of the supposedly doomed household. We got to see the guilt, the shame, the anger, but also the courage felt by the people that Star and the others are fighting for.

Now, I just hope they get Forley and Zan back.
Keep it up,
PJ
1/28/2016 c1 PJ Blindclown
I've gotta say, these recap thingos are bloody helpfull. I understand that real life can create time between books, and so telling us what's happened so far before the new story begins is a brilliant idea.
Keep it Up,
PJ

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