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4/25 c5 Guest
OOOOOHHHHH! James is a SAVAGE!
3/16 c1 Guest
I make a point of NOT reading fics that have things like this in their summaries: "I suck at summaries," and "it's my first fic, bear with me." Why do I do this? Because talk like that is making excuses for your work. It shows insecurity, that you feel that your writing is not all that great, so you want others to be extra- kind and gentle with their criticism and comments, and to just "bear with you." :P If you feel that you can't even write two measly lines to sell it to your reading audience, then how am I supposed to believe that the actual story itself is any good, either? If you feel that you need to highlight that you're an amateur so that people might feel it in their hearts to be nice to you if they don't like what you wrote, then how am I supposed to take it seriously that you feel your work is good enough for anyone else - much less yourself - to begin with? STOP MAKING EXCUSES! STOP PROJECTING INSECURITY! Take all criticism in stride, and make yourself better. Proceed with confidence. THAT is how you win readers who will want to read your stuff!
3/16 c1 TheGrammarPolice
Ugh. I didn't really click on this story to read it, but to you a piece of advice: no one cares if it's your 'first Fanfic'. I don't know what you are trying to achieve by putting that there: is it sympathy, or pity?
Because, all you're really achieving by writing that is making readers feel disdainful of your writing, as you're giving off the inexperienced vibe. It's really not helping you make this story more alluring. The summary should be a summary of the story, perhaps a few warnings if there is going to be graphic violence, OOC, OC, and AU. The 'first Fanfic'? Cut it out.

And, seriously, 'so Yeah' makes NO SENSE at all. It's just a way of hinting to readers that you have absolutely NO creativity and don't know how to conclude a summary.

And that's only the things wrong with the summary, too. For the first chapter- well. Don't get me started. Are you seven? Because I'm twelve, and I'm severely pissed by your atrocious grammar, punctuation, and spelling (or lack of it). Please, for the sake of the sanity of readers, find a Beta; or get your English teacher to proofread it for you. Heck, even Microsoft Word will improve this worthless piece of junk.
4/3/2016 c4 t momez
I just started reading the books agin becaus ei read the first four years ago and I'm so happy to find a fanfic about Cherub. I really like this, please don't stop. Keep up the good work!
1/30/2016 c1 2easyman123
Hey guys update should be tommorow!

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