for Let's Try This Again2/5/2016 c1 
1Joe Lawyer
I’ll lay it out for you, if this was the start of a true wrong BWL story I’d have stopped reading halfway through. It had all the clichés, from the glaring Harry who is more impressive than his brother, to the overly dramatic proclamation from Dumbledore about who is the BWL (even though that’d be patently ridiculous dialog in virtually every situation), to the parents and brother who abandon Harry and never look back. The only thing it didn’t have was the random debris that left a mark on Harry’s brother. Thank goodness for small miracles.
In this instance, you obviously weren’t trying to create a premise that would withstand an entire wrong BWL story, it was merely the prologue to his time in the Star Wars universe. I can respect that somewhat. Since you were so quick about it, probably too quick, it didn’t quite matter. Harry’s characterization was very rushed though. We need to get some semblance of a sense for what he was like in the world of HP before he’s thrust into Star Wars. Right now we only know he was obviously pretty knowledgeable and powerful to defeat Voldemort in straight up combat and we also know he was a weak pussy who tried to kill himself multiple times at the ripe old age of 20. Whatever the opposite of Emo is what Harry is/was.
All that being said, I’m quite curious to see what becomes of Harry in the context of Star Wars. Hopefully he was semi-smart and took some time to ready himself for this trip to the other end of the universe. I can think of a hundred different things from the wizarding world that would be useful to him, not the least of which were more books on magic so he can continue his training in magic. As an immortal he’s got all the time in the world to learn. And the resurrection stone would mean he’s capable of summoning wizarding shades to teach him what he wants to know. The Master of Death title can’t just mean immortality. The items themselves have tremendous power if the personification of Death is real.
So, yeah, I’m curious to see what you do here. If it’s half as good as Havoc Side of the Force I’d be impressed and eager to read more.
1Joe LawyerI’ll lay it out for you, if this was the start of a true wrong BWL story I’d have stopped reading halfway through. It had all the clichés, from the glaring Harry who is more impressive than his brother, to the overly dramatic proclamation from Dumbledore about who is the BWL (even though that’d be patently ridiculous dialog in virtually every situation), to the parents and brother who abandon Harry and never look back. The only thing it didn’t have was the random debris that left a mark on Harry’s brother. Thank goodness for small miracles.
In this instance, you obviously weren’t trying to create a premise that would withstand an entire wrong BWL story, it was merely the prologue to his time in the Star Wars universe. I can respect that somewhat. Since you were so quick about it, probably too quick, it didn’t quite matter. Harry’s characterization was very rushed though. We need to get some semblance of a sense for what he was like in the world of HP before he’s thrust into Star Wars. Right now we only know he was obviously pretty knowledgeable and powerful to defeat Voldemort in straight up combat and we also know he was a weak pussy who tried to kill himself multiple times at the ripe old age of 20. Whatever the opposite of Emo is what Harry is/was.
All that being said, I’m quite curious to see what becomes of Harry in the context of Star Wars. Hopefully he was semi-smart and took some time to ready himself for this trip to the other end of the universe. I can think of a hundred different things from the wizarding world that would be useful to him, not the least of which were more books on magic so he can continue his training in magic. As an immortal he’s got all the time in the world to learn. And the resurrection stone would mean he’s capable of summoning wizarding shades to teach him what he wants to know. The Master of Death title can’t just mean immortality. The items themselves have tremendous power if the personification of Death is real.
So, yeah, I’m curious to see what you do here. If it’s half as good as Havoc Side of the Force I’d be impressed and eager to read more.
2/5/2016 c1 5unwrittenlegacy
Oooooh. :). Fun. I've enjoyed the Blood Stained story of yours as well, but I'm always on the look out for more MoD stories and HP/SW crossovers. Even if it's a side project, I'm excited to see where you take this. :)
5unwrittenlegacyOooooh. :). Fun. I've enjoyed the Blood Stained story of yours as well, but I'm always on the look out for more MoD stories and HP/SW crossovers. Even if it's a side project, I'm excited to see where you take this. :)
2/5/2016 c1 BigBird97
Fairly generic start but at least it is told through time skips Lo ooking forward to see how to take this though. Could you please not make Jedi into the boring cliche of them having no idea what they are doing and trying to control Harry. Maybe have Harry not quite agree with them but he still doesn't really care enough to go have a big rant to yoda about how the Jedi teachings are wrong.
Fairly generic start but at least it is told through time skips Lo ooking forward to see how to take this though. Could you please not make Jedi into the boring cliche of them having no idea what they are doing and trying to control Harry. Maybe have Harry not quite agree with them but he still doesn't really care enough to go have a big rant to yoda about how the Jedi teachings are wrong.
2/5/2016 c1 2BraveVesperia
I like your other story but I have to say I did not like this chapter at all. It felt like you were going through the motions, the back story was too quick to serve any meaningful or emotional impact, it may as well not even have been there.
I know you were attempting to set up the stage for the real part of the story but character motivations and backgrounds are just as important and this sadly does not deliver. personally I think you should rewrite this as you are only on chapter 1 and spend 2 or 3 chapters doing a proper backstory before moving on.
As it stands the reader has no investment with this harry as everything was very tell not show, so we have no reason to care about his plight or the fact that he can conveniently go to a new universe.
you raise a lot of interesting pot points but ultimately do nothing with them is my primary concern. this is disappointing as you are a good writer but I feel this story has started off on the wrong foot.
2BraveVesperiaI like your other story but I have to say I did not like this chapter at all. It felt like you were going through the motions, the back story was too quick to serve any meaningful or emotional impact, it may as well not even have been there.
I know you were attempting to set up the stage for the real part of the story but character motivations and backgrounds are just as important and this sadly does not deliver. personally I think you should rewrite this as you are only on chapter 1 and spend 2 or 3 chapters doing a proper backstory before moving on.
As it stands the reader has no investment with this harry as everything was very tell not show, so we have no reason to care about his plight or the fact that he can conveniently go to a new universe.
you raise a lot of interesting pot points but ultimately do nothing with them is my primary concern. this is disappointing as you are a good writer but I feel this story has started off on the wrong foot.
2/5/2016 c1 Squadpunk 2.0
Wonder how long... From the Kotor era to the old republic timeline? Got options, and hopefully Harry will receive help for his psyche...
Wonder how long... From the Kotor era to the old republic timeline? Got options, and hopefully Harry will receive help for his psyche...
2/5/2016 c1 Guest
I Just read the Last chapter of your first story and this one is also pretty great, keep posting
I Just read the Last chapter of your first story and this one is also pretty great, keep posting
2/4/2016 c1 1Ymere
I absolutely love it. Love the premise no matter how many times i see its like. I only hope you dont shove death into a pocket here and forget about him. The interaction has a lot of potential.
1YmereI absolutely love it. Love the premise no matter how many times i see its like. I only hope you dont shove death into a pocket here and forget about him. The interaction has a lot of potential.
2/4/2016 c1 LouisReads10
Original trilorgy, the force awakens, or clone wars era? And who will he be with?
Original trilorgy, the force awakens, or clone wars era? And who will he be with?
2/4/2016 c1 Sanguis Sylvus
I think this could be a great story, but, to be honest, i think this needs a little fixing. cause living on earth and living some where else when you no longer want to live, is not much different. if wanted to start a new life, he could have done it just a as easy here as there. We all have chosen a purpose for our own life, whether its to be great, our own pleasure, our loved ones, or even searching for a new purpose on a road to self discovery or something. Harry needs motivation before he'll do anything, so, I think, you need to solve that into your plot and history somehow.
I think this could be a great story, but, to be honest, i think this needs a little fixing. cause living on earth and living some where else when you no longer want to live, is not much different. if wanted to start a new life, he could have done it just a as easy here as there. We all have chosen a purpose for our own life, whether its to be great, our own pleasure, our loved ones, or even searching for a new purpose on a road to self discovery or something. Harry needs motivation before he'll do anything, so, I think, you need to solve that into your plot and history somehow.
2/4/2016 c1 1tylerbamafan34
I have to ask, when is this going to take place? And how long will it continue in the saga?
I'll reserve judgemet for a couple chapters. Just know that I liked your other story enough to give this a chance
1tylerbamafan34I have to ask, when is this going to take place? And how long will it continue in the saga?
I'll reserve judgemet for a couple chapters. Just know that I liked your other story enough to give this a chance