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4/10/2019 c1 Magnalyn
This book is amazing can you please continue it.
11/21/2016 c3 CJ Riker
please update
9/23/2016 c1 KK
Here's the thing: you wrote a section that others complain about. Alright. To be honest they have a point and to a degree you should listen. There are probably tons of people out there who know what they are doing more than me and more than you (I know of 5 professional authors who write on this site just for fun). Anytime you're given advice or critique you should listen and see if they are right. HOWEVER this is YOUR STORY, and you are 110% correct to own it. So when people point to something and say "this is out of character", you evaluate it. If you find it was, it's well within your right as an author to say "I know but I like it".
My suggestion (for you to accept or disregard as you will but made with the intent of helping your work grow) is that you keep any comments directly to the audience confined to either the beginning or the end of the chapter and separated from your work. Otherwise it would be like watching -Man and in the middle of the scene when Tyki and Allen fight after the Fallen One...and out of nowhere a 'how to draw Tyki' thing pops up. While informative and useful, it takes away from the story, kills the atmosphere and is generally annoying.
9/16/2016 c3 SeleneAlice
please update this story soon
8/28/2016 c3 Ryuakilover
This is really nice chapter
And did Allen choose a side between the demon or the grim reaper?
8/6/2016 c2 70Gus Kinney The Prodigal Son
need more please keep going
7/26/2016 c2 Ryuakilover
Since I already review in this story I can't use my acc now to review

Ohhhh... So the Black order is starting up again

One question though
In this chapter it say Allen used to crossdressing because Kanda and Lavi fantasy so this both didn't betray him in the end or that happen before the fourteenth case on Allen
Nice chapter Looking forward for the next update
7/13/2016 c1 10jy24
This is interesting, I can say it is better than the original one when it comes to the timeline for the people to restart everything. I do wonder how Neah met a Grim Reaper in the first place, interesting to know how demons appear to be intimidated by one Noah too. Can't wait for the new chapter soon.
7/12/2016 c3 4InsanityOwl
I'M NOT TRYING TO BE MEAN, I SWEAR! I just see potential and want to help you. I'm sorry if it seems mean, I really am, I'm NOT trying to be. These are just some things I think you can go over that can improve your story or are just inconsistencies. Things that can help your readers.

So in the first chapter you claimed that the Noahs had won and wiped out humanity; humans were forced to rebuild society into what was hopefully more respectable. The time gap you gave for the reconstruction of humanity was only fifty years, which is impossible for a complete reconstruction, even to reach the point in time they are at. Since Allen is immortal, you can actually allow larger amounts of time to pass, or state that rather than wipe out humanity the Noahs only partially destroyed it (which is alright, but not the best excuse).

A different point brought up in previous chapters is Allen and Sebastian's relationship. So far from how it appears, you seem like you wish to ship them, and I have absolutely no problem with that. What I wish to bring up though is how you went from Sebastian treating Allen as a hostile to having Allen sit in his lap. Sebastian is a demon, I doubt he'd allow or trust Allen enough to sit in his lap and it's a little odd. The point I'm really trying to make is that the relationship seems rushed.

Allen's reveal of his true nature was fine, but I feel as though Ciel and Sebastian would try a bit more to get more information from him. There was also the little part at the end of the first chapter where Allen said that he was a Noah and then it was repeated in the second. There isn't really a need unless one of them asks for an expansion on that point, though that may be a personal preference.

The Black Order Exorcists. That is actually one of the main reasons I'm writing such a long review. I can understand that you want Allen to still be hunted and harassed by the Order, however there are a few problems with this. First, you have already had the Order destroyed by the Noah; Second, it was mentioned that all innocence other than Allen's was destroyed yet Allen sensed some on them, which creates an inconsistency; Third, if you do go by your timeline, it has been fifty years, I doubt any of the exorcists would live that long or be in any shape to bring Allen in to the Order. Don't be afraid to create an OC to try and bring Allen in, because if you make it that the exorcists just reincarnated, that feels a little bit like a cop-out.

These are just some points I've noticed in your story that are inconsistent or could be improved. You have a good idea, I like it and I'm not trying to be mean, only to help you. No, I am not an amazing writer nor do I know all, I just think these points could be thought through more and you could get a really good story done. Heck, you can ignore all of this because this is your story and you can do what you want, I'm just giving you possible improvements but in the end it's your story, you should do what you want and what you like.

If this seemed mean, I'm sorry and I swear I didn't mean to, you can tell me and I'll never bug you about anything again, I swear. DO NOT TAKE THIS PERSONAL! Your writing is good and I enjoyed it, it was just some things needed to be cleared up a little more, that is all. PLEASE DO NOT STOP WRITING! Just because I or someone else says something you may not like, never stop writing if you like it!
6/2/2016 c3 Ryuakilover
Oh my the black order the one that betray him first and now!
Nice chapter
Looking forward for the next update
6/2/2016 c2 10jy24
I am still a bit confused with the timeline. If Allen is about 50 years old or more, how could the exorcist still be around when the Noah Clan won the war and humanity started all over again. Won't that takes like thousands of years for that to happen? Since you have stated that the Noah have destroyed humanity. I do hope that there will be an explanation in the future. I posted this review here because I have already posted in the 3 chapter.
6/2/2016 c3 jy24
This fanfic is really interesting, I really hope that you will update this soon.
2/27/2016 c1 3rinashi15
Skvělý příběh, dostala jsem chuť na crossovry D. Gray mana a co tu nevidím. Další skvělý crossover XD
2/20/2016 c2 Guest
Please update!
2/19/2016 c2 1HelloKittyPower11
Please update real soon. I'm looking towards reading another chapter.
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