for Harry Potter and the Death-Eater's Daughter2/28/2016 c1 
5HinaGuy749
Marvelous! Simply marvelous! Considering this is only your second story (I count your actual second as part of your first) you are making amazing progress in your writing. Your pacing is much better, allowing the characters to be properly fleshed out. The dialogue is much improved, not just having the basics to get a point across and really bring the characters to life. As for the story itself, I'm already enjoying the plot as even though it's not the most original setup as far as I seen just yet, it goes a step beyond what I've seen other do with it and really makes me want to read more as I can see that you're putting a lot of effort into creating something good. Keep up the great work as I see a lot of talent and potential here.
5HinaGuy749Marvelous! Simply marvelous! Considering this is only your second story (I count your actual second as part of your first) you are making amazing progress in your writing. Your pacing is much better, allowing the characters to be properly fleshed out. The dialogue is much improved, not just having the basics to get a point across and really bring the characters to life. As for the story itself, I'm already enjoying the plot as even though it's not the most original setup as far as I seen just yet, it goes a step beyond what I've seen other do with it and really makes me want to read more as I can see that you're putting a lot of effort into creating something good. Keep up the great work as I see a lot of talent and potential here.