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6/8/2019 c1 bruceleeroythelastdragon
Very cool story with lots of action! I would love to see more!
4/24/2017 c1 Marisares
While the basic idea could be pretty damn cool. l the exacution well sucks. The crew sounds like the crew of a pirate ship rather than a professional military. The Borg are way too powerful and so are the Feds compared to the Thor. I mean the Asgaurd were INTERGALACTIC before either of these invented the damn wheel while the Feds and borg might have more tech thanks to the huge numbers of sapient species to contribute the Asgard and Ancients still way outclass them in raw scientific knowledge. The Borg might not be easy per se but they could take them with minimal damage. The Borgs main ability besides the massive amount of tech ideas gained through assemalation is the the adapt fast but the doesn't make the invulnerable to that weapon it just makes the shield better able to stop it but it also makes other weapons like KEWs easy to penetrate since they are so different. A beam with the raw power of the APB would still eventually punch trough it just might take longer and let's not forget those beams can penetrate in 4 or 5 shots a freaking Ori ships shields a ship built with the knowledge of ASSENDED beings like oh I don't know Q. Essentially it might not be a walk in the park but the Thor would beat the cube in relatively short order exspecially with drones for gods sakes drones can move really fast and avoid things like point deffense fire plus they are shielded how else could they do what they do.
3/24/2016 c1 Stalyon
I like the premise well enough. The conversations seem to be a bit off. Too much yelling for one thing, and some of the language used doesn't really fit the context. For one thing even under battle conditions, a Federation Com Officer wouldn't respond using curse words. They tend to be more professional than that, or they wouldn't stay a Com Officer for very long. The ship Commander wouldn't constantly be yelling things either, especially not stupid questions, when he should be the one orchestrating the ship's operation, not the weapons officer.

After the Colonel stated they were from the United States Air Force, it made no sense for the Admiral to respond with the USAF abbreviation as a question for confirmation. Nobody goes around saying USAF. If anything, it would've been the other way around. Mention of the USAF first, then spelling out the Acronym. As it was, it was unnecessary.

Anyways, like I said, I like the premise well enough, but the story telling could use a bit more polish. I also agree with a previous reviewer, the Borg are rather over powered. Ancient drone weapons would probably be way too hard to stop so easily, ESPECIALLY for the first time ever being used against the Borg. There would be very little chance of them adapting ANY defense against them that quickly. I understand you probably wanted to make the scene as dramatic as possible, but honestly it was a bit over the top.

If your concern was not killing Captain Picard, which is certainly understandable, then I'd advise using a different time period, or at least setting up a scenario where the Thor could help rescue him rather than just destroying the cube. Essentially you've made a ship that essentially rivals an O'Neill class warship, and barely having it hold its own, little better than the Federation ships, which are NOT warships primarily. In point of fact, it was the introduction of the Borg that caused Starfleet to begin getting more militarized, leading to ships like the Defiant. Federation ships tended to be family friendly exploration vessels until that point, characterized by such ships as the Galaxy class, like the Enterprise.

A dedicated warship with Asgard and Ancient technologies to back it up, ought to perform better than the Thor did. Basically saying that such a ship should have more going for it than superior FTL capability to the Borg. Rather, that should be just ONE system among several that would be superior to the Borg. The Asgard had more than 30,000 years of history and technological development, and the Ancients had 50 Million years or more, so that should definitely factor in when facing the Borg. We've seen Ancient shields withstand the explosion of a super volcano and hold back oceans, and we've seen Asgard shields (on an Earth ship) withstand a solar flare. In comparison, on Star Trek:DS9, they used a solar flare to destroy a huge shipyard, destroying dozens, if not hundreds of ships. The point being, their tech isn't that weak, so the Borg shouldn't be owning them so easily. The Asgard learned a LOT from the Ancients (according to Thor), so you can probably add an extra million years of advancement to them too. Then the Asgard turned around and gave it ALL to Earth, aside from the database and tech on Atlantis itself. So while the Earth of Stargate may not have the infrastructure that the Federation has, they've got one hell of a base to work from.

Hopefully I've given you a few ideas. I definitely know writing isn't easy, as I've put my hand to it on occasion, but I find that trying to emulate good authors helps. One thing good authors do is a LOT of research. It is part of what makes writing so hard. Sometimes they are looking for general knowledge on a subject, other times it is for more specific things.

So, yes, the Borg are crazy advanced and 'efficient', but they aren't insurmountable. Technology with a historical base of between 30,000-50 Million years, should be sufficient to kick their collective asses all the way back to the Delta Quadrant. The Cube should at best be a moderate nuisance. Three or four cubes might be more of a challenge.
3/18/2016 c1 fanficfan1001
Liking it so far. . Update please! :D
2/22/2016 c1 guest
you made the borg way to op
2/23/2016 c1 TheNamelessTroll
Nice i like it.
2/22/2016 c1 7Kansas Scout
I read an interesting beginning.
2/22/2016 c1 thunder18
Great chapter Update soon
2/22/2016 c1 22edboy4926
Interesting intro.

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