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for Sabredancing with the Dead

12/11/2023 c45 xbox432
Another mention of Shidou... Yeah, the Fujimi kids, and Shizuka I suppose, are gonna be in for a nasty surprise once they return. I wonder if anyone else in the compound will catch on to what's happening before the convoy returns?

And it's still nice to see the survivors coming together like this, helping out the newcomers and taking in the orphan. Gonna be a lot of people trying to reassemble families after all this...

summer cloths - summer clothes
8/18/2023 c44 xbox432
"Back in the club compound, Saburo, Wally and Elaine were finishing off breakfast. The 17 new people who'd been choppered in seemed to be settling in, and getting with the program. About half of them seemed to have made some new acquaintances already, and were sitting here and there with the "old hands". He notice one group, sitting off a bit from the majority."

For this, you might want to put a line break above this paragraph. As it is standard to do so when switching scenes, especially scenes between locations and PoVs. Additionally, you might want to somehow indicate that it is Saburo's PoV. You do later on, but it leaves things ambiguous for the first two paragraphs. Which isn't a good thing when the reader is trying to figure out which mental voice to assign the PoV.

Secondly, I see you used my mix-up of where Shido's group was after all. Which I'm happy about, as well as amused by. This way you can weave his craziness a bit more into the story without having to use the canon pickup point of him being at that elementary school. Though I do wonder if things will come to a head even before the convoy, as well as Rei and the others, return. After all, Rei's DAD is currently in the compound. And I imagine he would have burned Shido's image into his mind. What parent wouldn't after a scumbag goes after their child? Shido's group would stand out even more in the officer's mind if the kids are still wearing their school uniforms.

Also, good idea there with the landing pad. I've had to ride in them a fair few times, and it was always stressed just how damned dangerous they can be to land in the wrong conditions.
7/27/2023 c43 xbox432
Hmm, I would have thought that Kobe University would have come up in regards to Agriculture. Ya know, what with "Kobe Beef" and all that. I.E. WAGYU beef. They must preserve their most precious national treasure...

And it'd be a HELL of a lot closer than Sapporo, and right next to Kyoto. Along with having a much lower population (and thus Zombie) density than Tokyo. Just thought I'd throw it out there as an option.

That all being said... I'm now wondering if anyone had the idea of holing up in the old Tokyo castle, and the adjacent royal palace. A lot of the old castle may have been destroyed, but the walls are still there. More importantly, the VERY thick gates were replaced. And the palace has walls and a moat... I could totally see someone like Saya's father grabbing the regalia and naming himself Emperor. And it just might work considering how large and fertile the gardens there are. And with it being right next to the bay it could make for a nice little staging area for a settlement.

...Man, for some reason this chapter has made me really nostalgic about my vacation to Tokyo. Congratulations! That's some good writing!
6/8/2023 c42 xbox432
Yay! They finally made it. :D And the library DOESN'T have floor to ceiling glass windows that make for horrible defense? What a rare find! Seriously, those kinds of windows seem to be everywhere despite the NUMEROUS problems with them.

Once again, I'll just say to look back over how you write out numbers in a story.
4/24/2023 c41 xbox432
Yeah, you did a good job with getting through how desperate the people on that roof were to be rescued, but at the same time terrified of getting on the helo. Not just Siagon, but more recently? The "evac" from Afghanistan... Trying to get civs to safety while on a time crunch isn't easy or pretty. At least here nothing went SNAFU and they were able to get them all out.

Also, heh, Takashi and Saeko were getting irritated at being cockblocked from the action. I do wonder if they'll say something. Because they recently had a situation just like that at the Takagi mansion with those adults trying to take Kohta's guns.

Something tells me they're going to have mixed opinions. Because on one hand they aren't going to like being babied, on the other, they were at least allowed to come on the mission without any fuss. Hopefully Wolf or one of the others clues them in on it being because they are civilians more than because they're kids. It doesn't matter how competent they are at survival if they don't know the the JSDF's combat doctrine and drills. They might inadvertently get in the way, and zig while everyone else zags.

Typos are below and... huh. ALL of them involved numbers in some way this time. Odd that.

*It was a bit more than10 minutes - It was a bit more than ten minutes
*as soon at the convoy reached - as soon as the convoy reached
*about 3 kilometers - about three kilometers
*The 4 troopers marooned - The four troopers marooned
*the big 7 bladed rotor - the big seven bladed rotor
*about 10 minutes of playing silly - about ten minutes of playing silly
*that to RON in the - Ya know, I appreciate that you are letting the civs in on what the acronyms mean in the author's note. Much better than making them guess at the government's alphabet soup! :D
*trouble. 35 minutes later, - trouble. About 35 minutes later, (In general practice you shouldn't start a sentence with a hard number like this. Though using the numerical format in this instance is correct.)
*just after 9pm - just after 9 P.M.

Take care, and once again, thanks for the entertainment!
4/13/2023 c40 xbox432
Sorry to hear about this your health. Even more so that you'll have to sell Sabre Dance. It's never easy to walk away from a dream.

For the chapter, yeah, probably a good idea to grab what supplies they can, when they can. That fuel won't be good for ever, so may as well get some use out of it now. Also, Yay! Looks like the people at the mall are about to be saved... I can't remember if you changed it so Shido died in your fic or if he'll be there?

It was nice to see the moments between Shinji and Rei, and Saya and Kohta. A little bit at a time, they're building a foundation for relationships.
4/12/2023 c40 31Draco38
Sorry to hear about your health issues. As I've found out myself since retiring, things don't always go as planned.

Another great chapter, looking forward to more!
3/8/2023 c39 xbox432
Hah! Thanks for the good chapter... even if this review is a few months late. Like I said in the PM, I haven't really been on this site in a while. Been hanging out on SpaceBattles, SufficientVelocity, and .

It was nice to see them making progress on their mission, also yeah, probably a smart idea to hose off the vehicles. Also also, they now have a clear path for the next time they need to travel between the base and the refuge.

*threaded it way down - threaded its way down
*having been bingo fuel as they - I'm not sure if this is Navy terminology or not. But I have no idea if "bingo" is what should be here.
*Safety said land - I know this one is wrong, but not sure how you would want to reword it.
*the R.E. . Their - One too many periods. Though it is an odd situation to end a sentence with an acronym. Maybe change R.E. to Rear Echelon so as to avoid confusion?
*definitely out of join as they - definitely out of joint as they
12/18/2022 c38 xbox432
Yeah, I always wondered why more militaries didn't just run over the dead in these types of stories. Like, the one that always stood out in my mind? The first episode of The Walking Dead. That Sherif finds a military checkpoint... with a tank just SITTING there with it's hatch open, and the driver turned. I also liked how you had them set up some basic safety measures for their route clearance teams. The safety rings and harnesses to keep them secured was a good idea.

As for the spears? Yeah, no need to get up in their faces. Though I have always wondered why someone up on a perimeter wall doesn't just tie a rope around a dumbell and "go fishing". Seriously! Just bop the undead like Kevin McCallister did to Marv with those bricks in Home Alone 2, then just real the dumbell back in. That way they wouldn't have to waste ammo.

Okay, a lot more typos this time around. Just remember, ten and under are written out while 11 and above are numerical.

*and explaining how thing would - and explaining how things would
*two ARVs. The pulled far - two ARVs. They pulled far
*could cover the 3 trucks. The fuel - could cover the three trucks. The fuel
*seen, and they advance steadily - seen, and they advanced steadily
*with cars and truck enough - with cars and trucks enough
*and was 3 lanes in either direction. - and was three lanes in either direction.
*Once they were off, Rei turned round and bumped the speed up and caught up with the convoy and resumed her slot. - A lot of "and" here, as well as "round" needing to be "around". I'd suggest rewording this a bit. Perhaps: Once they were off, Rei turned around and bumped the speed up until they caught up with the convoy and resumed her slot.
*in enough to possible impair the - in enough to possibly impair the
*and Keiko just before 9am, and they'd - and Keiko just before 0900, and they'd (You've done all the other times in military time, so this stood out.)
*way across the 1400 meter - way across the 1,400 meter
*The armored vehicles crews were - The armored vehicle's crews were
*but the crews of the 3 trucks were - but the crews of the three trucks were
*this night mare. After - this nightmare. After
*them another 4 hours to clear - them another four hours to clear

Lastly, good to hear you're still making progress on Sabredance. If I remember correctly, they gave you a deadline to get her out of drydock... parking lot... I have no idea what it'd be called where you're doing the repairs? Here's hoping you'll be able to get everything finished up in the Spring.
10/2/2022 c37 xbox432
Hmm, finally starting to get their mission under way, eh? They, and you, have definitely put more thought into planning out future survival in this world than most other zombie survival fics I've read. The prep work done for this mission has been very in-depth.

And, as always with me, below is a typo for your editing pleasure:
but it would be a waste time if - but it would be a waste of time if
8/24/2022 c36 Draco38
Always glad to see a Sabredancing post!

I fully retire in two months and then, maybe, I can get on finishing In the DEAD of the NIght.
8/23/2022 c36 xbox432
Saya and Kohta... Good to see the two of them are settling in and finding their balance. Heh, and it seems that Kohta is finally making it past the ~tsun~. I'll mirror Wolf, good luck to the guy!

seal the crap wood and a coat of gloss white will do just fine. - Honestly? I did something similar when my bathroom sink sprung a leak this past winter. I didn't have the money for a full replacement, so I just used the plywood from home depot and a can of lacquer. May have not looked the best, but it held for a few months until I had some disposable income.

Below are some editing suggestions:

*Ok, Kat, I'm off to organize the trip to Takagi. - "Ok, Kat, I'm off to organize the trip to Takagi.
*harms way." Shinji commented, - harms way," Shinji commented,
6/18/2022 c35 xbox432
So all the planning, scouting, and preparations are just about finished eh? Now they just need to get the engineers to the Yacht club and things are a go. I'm curious to see how the mission will play out. Smooth sailing or FUBAR?

Also, good for Shizuka. :D I'm liking the fact that you actually gave her a personality rather than just being a big boobed airhead. And I'm guessing that was also her stating her plans to raise Alice? Better that she and Rika do it than one of the kids.

*He notice Shizuka looking about - He noticed Shizuka looking about
*sure will make a good one" - sure will make a good one."
*time. The reached the - time. They reached the
*just after 8pm, and - just after 8 p.m., and
*and by 11pm Kate and - and by 11 p.m. Kate and
5/27/2022 c34 Draco38
I looked over the map and now you've got me thinking about In the DEAD of the Night again. I really, Really, REALLY, need to post a new chapter for it!
5/27/2022 c34 xbox432
*vividly the DC-3 that has appeared out of a cloud - vividly the DC-3 that had appeared out of a cloud
*Walkways had been build along the wall - Walkways had been built along the wall
*Some one had cut out - Someone had cut out
*Saburo nodded, "yeah, lets head back. - Saburo nodded, "Yeah, lets head back.
-And I have to admit this line line had me laughing at fond memories. This is why you never go on patrol, either on land or in the sky, without a piss bottle. Haha!

I found their comments about the spread of the infection interesting. It really does bring up questions about how that all played out. Was there a worldwide cult, did a god decide to get pissy, or was it really just a random bioweapon that got out of hand? Or is it the Studio Trigger explanation... Aliens did it! That's something I always find fascinating to ponder about in zombie situations. :D
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