
12/18/2022 c11 TheWritingFreakIsBack
WAIT A FUCKING SECOND
A WINGSUIT
A GRAPPLER
BIG GUNS
LITERAL CONTROL OF LIGHTNING AND WEATHER
THIS MF IS RICO FROM JUST CAUSE
WAIT A FUCKING SECOND
A WINGSUIT
A GRAPPLER
BIG GUNS
LITERAL CONTROL OF LIGHTNING AND WEATHER
THIS MF IS RICO FROM JUST CAUSE
12/17/2022 c32 Hydrus789
I truly hope you don't have them reconnect and forgive the parents. That would literally be rewarding their behavior
I truly hope you don't have them reconnect and forgive the parents. That would literally be rewarding their behavior
12/9/2022 c7 Aggrandize
Bruh, this chapter is giving off some STRONG incel vibes. The previous chapters had that red pill shit leaking in and now this... hopefully it cuts out later because no one wants to read about a guy complaining about Earth politics/social norms while living in Remnant
Bruh, this chapter is giving off some STRONG incel vibes. The previous chapters had that red pill shit leaking in and now this... hopefully it cuts out later because no one wants to read about a guy complaining about Earth politics/social norms while living in Remnant
12/8/2022 c11
1LeonidasTheAverage
nothing in this story feels earned! The love interests are automatically attracted to Jaune for no reason. I feel like if he wasn't given a million different op powers so fast, it would've been better. Having a perk that just makes it to wear people listen to you is so stupid. If you wanted to do that, you should've added a Charisma Stat that leveled and had a chance of making interactions between jaune and others have a higher chance of being successful. Another issue with the story is how jaune acquires his abilities. He just thinks about them, and he creates it simultaneously? No way of thinking about how he should go about making them, just "I want a power to doand then it happens. The sleep spell had no logic behind it, the forget spell had no logic behind it. It all made no sense.

nothing in this story feels earned! The love interests are automatically attracted to Jaune for no reason. I feel like if he wasn't given a million different op powers so fast, it would've been better. Having a perk that just makes it to wear people listen to you is so stupid. If you wanted to do that, you should've added a Charisma Stat that leveled and had a chance of making interactions between jaune and others have a higher chance of being successful. Another issue with the story is how jaune acquires his abilities. He just thinks about them, and he creates it simultaneously? No way of thinking about how he should go about making them, just "I want a power to doand then it happens. The sleep spell had no logic behind it, the forget spell had no logic behind it. It all made no sense.
12/1/2022 c5 Ricee
fuckin pussy. if you don't want this chick like you said then why did you just roll over and let her claim you?
fuckin pussy. if you don't want this chick like you said then why did you just roll over and let her claim you?
12/1/2022 c1 Ricee
it's already terrible. just sitting there gets him the meditation skill and he just lets It slip already that he's a gamer? pathetic
it's already terrible. just sitting there gets him the meditation skill and he just lets It slip already that he's a gamer? pathetic
10/15/2022 c3 Simianpower
He's a level 3 loser with near-baseline stats and running at 25 MPH... and is "disgusted" by it. This dude's an asshole! Everything is handed to him and it's STILL not easy enough. Ruby Rose was faster... well, boo-hoo, her entire Semblance is speed! Fucking baby! This reminds me of a guy who played in my last D&D game who had possibly the most powerful character in the game but still complained that he wasn't better than every other character at their specialties. "Why can he turn invisible at will and I can't? Why can she use telepathy and I can't?" I dunno, maybe because their entire builds are based on those things and yours isn't?
For "Legendary" difficulty, this sure feels like it's set on "walkthrough" mode. There's no tension. He gets entirely broken skills simply by thinking about them and then complains that they aren't enough. I'm three paragraphs into the third paragraph and already entirely sick of this. I have no interest in another several hundred thousand words of this level of trite BS. This makes almost every Gamer story mistake out there!
He's a level 3 loser with near-baseline stats and running at 25 MPH... and is "disgusted" by it. This dude's an asshole! Everything is handed to him and it's STILL not easy enough. Ruby Rose was faster... well, boo-hoo, her entire Semblance is speed! Fucking baby! This reminds me of a guy who played in my last D&D game who had possibly the most powerful character in the game but still complained that he wasn't better than every other character at their specialties. "Why can he turn invisible at will and I can't? Why can she use telepathy and I can't?" I dunno, maybe because their entire builds are based on those things and yours isn't?
For "Legendary" difficulty, this sure feels like it's set on "walkthrough" mode. There's no tension. He gets entirely broken skills simply by thinking about them and then complains that they aren't enough. I'm three paragraphs into the third paragraph and already entirely sick of this. I have no interest in another several hundred thousand words of this level of trite BS. This makes almost every Gamer story mistake out there!
10/15/2022 c2 Simianpower
"I hadn't been that tactful in my previous life..." If that's the case, and his mental stats came from his previous life, then where did the improved CHA come from? How is he more charismatic than both Jaune AND his prior life?
"Learn some skills the easy way rather than have to make up my own..." He literally THINKS of a concept and a skill shows up that does it. Time after time after time. How much easier is he trying to make it? Nothing has felt earned in this so far, but he wants it to be even simpler?
"Most schools started courses in the spring" No, they don't. Most schools start courses in September, in fall, from kindergarten to grad school.
"I even used Observe on her, which by now was at a high enough level to show me her emotional state." Uhh, since when? It's been about an hour since he got home and it's not like we've seen that skill level.
"Of course, nothing was ever easy." In this story EVERYTHING is easy. MC hasn't had to work for anything, and both skills and stats keep dropping on him both on- and off-page simply for breathing.
"I hadn't been that tactful in my previous life..." If that's the case, and his mental stats came from his previous life, then where did the improved CHA come from? How is he more charismatic than both Jaune AND his prior life?
"Learn some skills the easy way rather than have to make up my own..." He literally THINKS of a concept and a skill shows up that does it. Time after time after time. How much easier is he trying to make it? Nothing has felt earned in this so far, but he wants it to be even simpler?
"Most schools started courses in the spring" No, they don't. Most schools start courses in September, in fall, from kindergarten to grad school.
"I even used Observe on her, which by now was at a high enough level to show me her emotional state." Uhh, since when? It's been about an hour since he got home and it's not like we've seen that skill level.
"Of course, nothing was ever easy." In this story EVERYTHING is easy. MC hasn't had to work for anything, and both skills and stats keep dropping on him both on- and off-page simply for breathing.
10/15/2022 c1 Simianpower
Not a bad start, but some of the penalties for failed quests don't make sense. For example, why would failing to learn the medical stuff result in decreased closeness with Joan? She has nothing to do with that quest!
Also, hopefully the popups will slow down over time. This chapter was quite full of them. They're needed in gamer stories, but shouldn't show up every couple of paragraphs!
Not a bad start, but some of the penalties for failed quests don't make sense. For example, why would failing to learn the medical stuff result in decreased closeness with Joan? She has nothing to do with that quest!
Also, hopefully the popups will slow down over time. This chapter was quite full of them. They're needed in gamer stories, but shouldn't show up every couple of paragraphs!
10/15/2022 c19 RyuuyaOoguro
That's just me and my hate for rasengan in a modern setting. I know its coloring my view on other fics who use it but I really can't help it.
That's just me and my hate for rasengan in a modern setting. I know its coloring my view on other fics who use it but I really can't help it.
10/15/2022 c19 RyuuyaOoguro
I really hate rasengan in fics. I feel the rasengan really should be a projectile and not something you do when in a ranged fight. I mean it works in games, I love going close range in any some of the games I play, even when I'm provided with long ranged weapons but it aint going to fly in a real firefight. Imagine him getting pinned down and he just whips out a rasengan and charge head on rushing out of cover. I cringe.
I really hate rasengan in fics. I feel the rasengan really should be a projectile and not something you do when in a ranged fight. I mean it works in games, I love going close range in any some of the games I play, even when I'm provided with long ranged weapons but it aint going to fly in a real firefight. Imagine him getting pinned down and he just whips out a rasengan and charge head on rushing out of cover. I cringe.
10/14/2022 c13 RyuuyaOoguro
The lemon's good and all but what about the plot. Please tell me this isnt just filled with lemons.
The lemon's good and all but what about the plot. Please tell me this isnt just filled with lemons.