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9/23/2016 c49 121Kimberly T
I'd say you've captured Azula's inner voice perfectly.
9/22/2016 c49 Laurie
Much as I enjoyed the early part of the story I think you're losing the plot to write scenes in EVERY character's perspective. Zuko, Jet and Toph were listed as the characters this is mostly about, but you've done more scenes from Sokka's perspective than Toph's and you're losing focus. As individual vignettes these recent chapters are fine, but they're not moving the story along. If and when you decide where the story's going, I'll probably have to go back six or seven chapters to remind myself of recent events. If you want to challenge yourself, why not try changing the way you do each scene? You always choose a character's head to write from. What if, for example, you'd written Katara's scene from Hakoda's perspective? He wouldn't know why she's sullen or angry acting, but by his observations you could make the reader understand. Maybe try writing some dialogue. Exactly what are some of the cruel things the Water Tribesmen said and how did the listener react? Toph's reaction would be more direct than Sokka's, I'm betting.
9/22/2016 c49 1Su No Yo
MAINCURE PARTIES! And this'll be awesome and I hope . . . I've forgotten his name already - Qin? - continues to partake in them and gently mocks the other Dai Li agents for not being secure enough in their masculinity to have their nails painted. Besides, I bet the girls all do excellent jobs with nail art.
Nice look into Azula's mind too, particularly with Azula being in denial about 'not missing' things. And also about her friends not being her friends; they totally are. Hints too about her need to control things even if it means she has to stay on one place.

((I'll get around to that PM, I swear))
9/21/2016 c49 10Spherebleue
Bouahahahaha, comme dirait l'autre x)

J'avoue, la manière dont tu dépends Azula donne du rêve. Tout pour le pouvoir en apparence, mais au final elle aime sincéremment ses deux amis (contrairement à ce qu'elle prétend). Est-ce qu'elle va vouloir passe voir Iroh ? J'ai toujours eut l'impression que ces deux là ne s'appréciaient pas tant que ça... à voir.
9/21/2016 c49 Guest
Azula's mind is terrifying.. Btw Gaang/Water Tribe Warriors doesn't know about Zuko's scar right? Minus Jet, maybe Katara too? How will they react when they learn how that burn happened?
9/18/2016 c48 4blobfishmiffy
AANG MY BBY
9/16/2016 c48 Guest
Aang is awake! Confused and doesn't know a thing, but I am happy he is finally awake! I was curious about his reaction to everything happens around him while he is Azula Coma.
9/14/2016 c48 10Spherebleue
Ahahaha, le réveil le plus chelou de l'histoire, je suppose XD.
Aang a quand même un sacré self control. Je veux dire, à ce stade, n'importe qui aurait probablement fait comme Sokka au début, c'est à dire demander une explication maintenant, s'il vous plait merci vous étes gentil. Le fait d'être moine je suppose.
Il a d'ailleurs encore peur de Zuko, même si je pense qu'il garde à l'esprit l'aventure du Blue Spirit voir un type qui n'a fait que tenter de le capturer de son côté doit faire un choc. Je me souviens que dans le DA, il le prenait relativement bien. Meh. On verra x).
Jet squatte Zuko maintenant, c'cool !
9/13/2016 c48 121Kimberly T
Yup. Perfect response.
Well done!
9/13/2016 c48 13Elf Kid2.0
This is excellent! Coming in from Aang's pov, with no idea of the context of what's been going on... the whole scenario must seem completely insane!

"Zuko is here, armored and red and smiling- he can smile- and that can't be good, can't-" I love this quote. This line is perfect.

And his reaction to seeing Katara and Toph and '?Fire-Nation Soldier With Sokka's Voice?' was perfect. I really like the dynamis you've got going on here.

Thank You for writing this. :)
9/11/2016 c47 7Vandenberg
You've done a great job in writing this up so far! Your style of narration is a joy to read through - not to mention the sheer character and immersion.

On a related note, the characterisation is just so well considered! I like how you worked in each character's idiosyncrasies whilst building upon the implications of their canon portrayal. Jet, Smellerbee and Longshot are some standout examples amongst a sea of awesome. ;)

Rambling aside, thank you for putting in the time and effort into this! Will be looking forward to the next chapter.

-Van
9/7/2016 c47 121Kimberly T
Ahhh, *there's* the emotionally-messed-up teenaged girl we saw so little of in the series. Most of the time Katara had the 'Team Mom' hat jammed onto her head so hard it smothered all other emotional responses, except for leaks of romantic longing now and then. This chapter shows a kettle coming to a boil with churning anger, grief, hurt and jealousy; to carry the metaphor one step further, I think it won't be long before the shrieking starts...
9/7/2016 c47 13Elf Kid2.0
This is excellent. I imagine that Hakoda is trying, trying to treat his kids respectfully, like adults (but not put too much pressure, not burdent them) and not show favoritism. Because they're his kids, but they don't seem like they need him anymore, and he is sad about that but wants to respect them... And there is miscommunication and cross-communication, and it is Hard.

Katara's feelings about Zuko are very well portrayed. She feels that he is an adult- but I wonder if she'd think that way if he weren't a Fire Nation Prince. I think she wonders that as well. Her thoughts on his relationship with Lin are interesting. She initially thinks he might be trying to create a new family/nation... but "He would stard with finding adult Fire Nation renegades, like Jeong Jeong and his men, and women too because a Tribe doesn't work without the women to make decisions, and then build his Tribe from there."

And she thinks about how he says she's not a blood relative, but she DOES have sparks, so it's just like taking in an orphaned member of your own tribe.

All of these thoughts are fantastic. I am having many feels about this chapter; you've got the dynamics down pat. This is fantastic, and I am greatly enjoying it. Thank You. :D
9/7/2016 c47 10Spherebleue
Crôôôôaaaaa

Katara est jalouse, c'est très clair XD... Et pourtant, là, il ne l'a pas trahis dans les prisons de Ba Sing Seh, faudrait savoir ce qu'elle veut. Je déconne, c'est une réaction plutôt compréhensible. Et Jet est à moitié plus ou moins inclut dans une conversation. Plutôt mieux.
Je me demande si l'invasion du soleil noir se déroulera mieux, avec les info de Zuko qui, même si elle sont vieille de trois ans, n'en reste pas moins un sacré avantage. Je veux dire, il doit connaitre le palais comme sa poche, le petit... Bon, ça empêchera probablement pas le désastre sinon c'est pas marrant XD...
9/7/2016 c47 Guest
Oh..a chapter for Katara, angsty one too. I can understand Katara though. Hakoda sees Zuko as a future leader and a child. I always tried to picture a father/son relationship between them but reading this chapter made me realize I never counted how Katara/Sokka will react to it. I assume they wouldn't be happy after reading this chapter. I really love this chapter, I am a happy reader.
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