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for Double in a lifetime

7/9 c8 dennisdaugherty1962
please update soon I love this story
10/25/2019 c1 Guest
The idea behind the story was a good one it's just everything else about the story wasn't very good. Grammar, plot, time line, etc. Just so many things need to be fixed. If those things were better this is definitely the type of thing I would read. Honestly I think the only good thing about this story was the idea behind the story.
6/11/2019 c2 Guest
this is one of the most badly written fanfics I've ever read.
1/16/2019 c1 8pastelchalks
Your grammar makes it really hard to read and follow. The continuinity is weird and none of the dialogue feels natural. Why would Ra’s admit that he’s the head of the league of assassins right after meeting them? He’s basically admitting to running a terrorist organisation.

That’s like a mafia boss telling somebody on the street that he runs a crime syndicate without ever meeting them before. English is my third language and even my grammar is clearer.

If you’re not good st English but still want to write, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, get a beta reader to edit your work before your post it!
2/13/2018 c2 Guest
Please, please, pleeeeaaaase fix you grammar, please.
7/14/2016 c5 28Sakura Lisel
Wait... I'm confused about what happened with the Malfoys. FIRST it looked like you said that Lucius LOVED Narcisssa and Draco so much that LUCIUS went to Harry for protection from Voldemort and the Death Eaters so that Draco WOULDN'T have to join the Death Eaters. Then all of a sudden a few paragraghs later, private investigators Harry hired discovered that Lucius was now HURTING Narcisaa in order to force Draco to join Voldemort after all the trouble Lucius went to PROTECT his family from Voldemort?
6/19/2016 c8 7Kyuubi no Deshi
The story isn't bad... but you really need to work on your grammar.
4/21/2016 c8 Adrania
Hey this was a great story and I loved it but from one writer to another there are some grammar errors and unfinished thoughts which made it hard to read again great story I really enjoyed it
4/7/2016 c8 1Mismatched Melody
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP DDDDDDĎDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE UUUPPPDDDAAATTTEEE SSSOOOOOONNN PPPLLLEEEAAASSSEEE I'M DYING FOR MORE! ! ! ! I LOVE THIS BOOK IT'S AMAZING! ! ! !
3/16/2016 c2 6slytherinshadowhunter67
Your grammar could do with work, your storyline is ehh, and the whole blocked cores thing has been done before in much, much better ways. I'm sure this story has some form of potential to you, but you'll probably want to make it a bit more presentable. Please don't call this hate, because I'm actually trying to help. Constructive criticism and all.
3/13/2016 c6 Guest
"You built this story so well, that I am in awe. Just, this for example, stop making repeating chapters." Sorry I'm making an impression of my ela teacher
3/10/2016 c1 Guest
We are not amused.
3/9/2016 c1 Radio Free Death
You need to actually post story content, not six words of an authors note.

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