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for Brother of the Azure

4/30/2017 c11 31Kagemoto
You're gonna have to add in Jaune's sword and shield greatsword mode
Maybe
I don't care this is good
11/3/2016 c12 Iheartlife888
Hello. I recently found this flic and wanted to know if your updated it, then I found out you also wrote that SMTxHarry Potter cross over. I would totally love it if you happen to decide to update one of this stories because their both really fun to read. Thanks for creating them! I'm honestly looking forward to your future updates.
8/30/2016 c12 battlewriterfan
Hi. Just stumbled upon this fanfic and I must say, I enjoyed reading it. Even taking time to create fighting game pendants to the chars, that shows some great world building. While reading it and your information of having taken some inspirtaion from Persona 4 Arena Ultimax, maybe let the cast from that game make an appearence. If not for story impact maybe as cameos. That would be cool. I know that these games plays in the future compared to HP but hey, this is fanfiction.m
6/30/2016 c1 bbfan
A great story so far. Good world building and character development. Can you say in term of combat power where harry, the rwby chars and the fighters from the hp verse stand in comparison to the original blazblue cast. For example if hermione could beat taokaka or in relation to the heavy hitters (e.g. ragna, hazama, hakumen) of the bb series. Looking forward to the next chapters. Also im intereted what happens next. Will there be a war between the wizarding world and the nol? How will harry react when he returns to his own time? Will ragna destroy the wizards for pissing him off? Just please dont make harry a overpowered fighter from the start. I think that woild destroy the world you build.
5/7/2016 c11 1Hakuryukou79
Interesting story, I look forward to reading more of this story.
5/3/2016 c10 1The-fake-KamalaKhan
This is very interesting setup. I like the web of character relationships you built around Harold, especially with Relius Clover. I look forward for him to find out how much of a bastard he is. That's good character development, the shock of knowing that your old mentor is such an evil person. I'm also interested to see how the RWBY characters fit in as members of Harold's squad. Hope they do enough to make them important but not enough to overshadow the main characters or overstuff the plot. I also look forward to Harold interacting with Noel and his and her old classmates, like Jin, Tsubaki, Makoto, and Kagura. Word of advice, don't do a Marty Stu out of this and don't have everyone praise and admire him. Make each of those characters feel the way they do for Harold to be genuine to their characters, such as Harold be cordial bro style to Kagura or have a strained relationship with Jin due to his apathy and his treatment of Noel, stuff like that. While in that subject, don't immediately make Harold OP and beat everyone up. While he has military training in this canon along with magical talent, he shouldn't say overpower someone like Hakumen or Yuki Terumi or Relius (He's his tutor so he probably knows his strengths and weaknesses), at least not without some development like training with Rachel to use sorcery or gaining a Nox Nyctores or some other crap. I That and explore how military life along with the BlazBlue weirdness has shaped this version of Harry, like if his service either toughened or traumatized him or if his time in the NOL shaped his beliefs to be different from canon. Something along those lines. If you do at least those, you'd be able to avoid the Marty Stu plague infesting this site. Also, I'm interested to see his development with Carl, seeing how he suffered abuse from his father, who was a mentor to Harold. That has ways to go. I hope you find this helpful and sorry for preaching. Good luck! PS: Try not to make Harold overshadow characters like Ragna, Jin, and Noel. Try to make them important (like allowing Noel to still become the Successor of the Azure, and keep Ragna and Jin's status as Destroyer and Hero significant.) in their own right while maintaining your focus on Harry. Remember don't Marty Stu.
5/1/2016 c8 The-fake-KamalaKhan
An interesting chapter. Very unique. I especially like all of the references. I wonder how you'll incorporate the Potterverse into this story, seeing how you focused more on Harry in BlazBlue. Also, seithr is showing up in the Potterverse? How fun! Hope you can expand on that on later chapters. My only problem this time is the word choices. They could be better but it's tolerable. Good job.
5/1/2016 c7 The-fake-KamalaKhan
Nice world building. I like how you stick with the canon, while making a few twists. I especially like the interactions between Harry, Noel, and Claire. I'm starting to regret my comments in previous chapters as you are setting up some very good character development. I look forward to reading more of these characters. The typos even were laxed in this chapter. Nice progress.
5/1/2016 c6 The-fake-KamalaKhan
An improvement from previous chapters. It just has so much feels! I like how you wrote Harry's emotional development in this fic and his interactions with Noel and the Vermillions is just so awwn. It looks like you didn't need my advice from previous reviews, you developed them as I'd hope. I like how this is going on. Just work on the typos and I can see this shaping up to be a great fic. Good job and good luck.
5/1/2016 c5 The-fake-KamalaKhan
The typo problem is improving. Although there are a little kinks, especially in the end. The best part of this chapter has to be the world building, you really captured it from the canon along with some unique and rather optimistic interpretation you have. While I look forward in reading about the adventures of Harry and his new sister, Noel, (that type of situation is why I love crossovers BTW), you really should've fleshed out their relationship more along with their parents. That would make me care for them more as characters as they move forward in the story. That's all for now. Good luck!
5/1/2016 c4 The-fake-KamalaKhan
Interesting progress. Again the typos interfere with the fic again. Work on them if you can please. Nothing serious this time. On the upside, the chapter gave an interesting look inside the mind of Edgar Vermilion, a rather unimportant extra in the canon. Harry was fine as well, but maybe you should've written his interactions with the young Mu-12/Noel with at least some dialogue. It would be interesting to see what the young Mu was like, not to mention develop her relationship with the young Harry. And also maybe write in their first encounter with Edgar. Their sudden extraction in the end seemed rushed to me. Nothing else for now. Good luck with your fic.
5/1/2016 c3 The-fake-KamalaKhan
The biggest problem of this fic so far are the typos. There are spots, where you forgot to add a letter or word, which really throws off the fic for a bit. You especially need to add "for nothing" when Relius thought about his place in the Mages' Guild in the end. Other than that, this chapter was interesting. The whole mismatch of event placement is not really my speed, but I'm willing to see how it goes. I especially enjoy the inner thoughts of Relius Clover, AKA my favorite BlazBlue character. Willing to see more. Excuse me...
5/1/2016 c1 The-fake-KamalaKhan
In the canon, the Master Unit is uncaring, godlike, and does not wish anything to change even when the world of BlazBlue is going to hell. But here, she's (yes it's a girl) just a bored and petty god with clearly too much time in her hands. It's... kinda hilarious actually. Anyway, an interesting start. Your writing style is solid and I like your interpretation to the chronal weirdness of BlazBlue (it's almost close to canon). I can’t say more than that for now. Have to read more to see if the fic lives up to its potential. Excuse me...
4/27/2016 c9 Super Guest-Chan
It's also a crossover with RWBY?! COOL! :)
3/29/2016 c1 Guest
i can say without a doubt, that i like this story. I look forward to your next chapter

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