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9/13/2016 c15 9Zoe Walker
That was... quite good, actually. I'm looking forward to the explanation for why all these Planeswalkers have been de-powered, memory wiped, regressed to pre-teens, and stuck in Hogwarts. Illusions, hallucinations linked by Jace, and Nicol Bolas are the most obvious culprits, but I'm confident you've put more thought into this than I have.

Points for including characters other than the standard Protagonist 5, ie the Gatewatch, as major characters. Especially Ral Zarek, who seems to be a one-off so far in the main story.

But, I felt like Elspeth was under-developed. I felt the same way about Hermione in the first few Harry Potter books; probably related the the lessened screen time. After how the canon plot screwed poor Elspeth over, I hope you can give her the justice she really deserves.

The boggart was an interesting twist, one it took me a while to see coming. Good job with the mystery, although it could have used a little more build up.
4/19/2016 c15 1Legion222
;_; I love a happy ending ;_;

Is Ranna an original character? I don't recall that name. Honestly I'd half-expected an old guy named Alhammarret to be Jace's new guardian, but getting a mom is way better :D

Jace was a government experiment created to stop Veldemort. Well that's kinda scary. A complete curveball coming out of left field there (yay for mixing metaphors).

I await the sequel whenever you have it ready.

Write on,
Legion
4/18/2016 c14 Legion222
I'm sensing an encroaching epilogue. It's been a great story so far and realizing that the end is likely near is a bittersweet feeling. On one hand, I don't want it to be over; but on the other, this story's had a great run and I'd hate to see this drag on when it's already got everything it needs (aside from a sequel, that is ;))

I've noticed that every chapter title (and the story name itself, of course) has been the name of a Magic card, but I've got to say this one's the best of all. Every conflict resolved and looking towards some new friendships. End Hostilities, indeed.

All in all fantastic resolution chapter, though I hope the story's not completely over. I, for one, am curious about where Jace will be spending the Summer, among other things.

Write on,
Legion
4/17/2016 c13 Legion222
"They're idiots, too. They don't count."
Ral Zarek, tellin' it like it is XD

I feel kinda bad for that boggart. It is interesting, however that it was able to learn how to survive on laughter as well as fear.

Jace's mother? Guess that answers the "are they actually Planeswalkers or not" question. Or maybe there's more to be learned here...

I eagerly await more.

Write on,
Legion
4/16/2016 c12 Legion222
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh. Well that explains a lot. And yet also brings up new questions. How did it have Jace's lost memories, for instance? Hope we'll find out soon.

Ral is really bad at comforting/being comforted. Like really, really bad. It's a bit of both a good thing and a bad thing that his friends are so used to that.

And at last Harry maybe kinda sorta starts to realize he's pushed himself away from all of his friends. I do hope he tries to fix that soon.

Oh, and thanks for the quick update. The suspense was killing me.

Write on,
Legion
4/15/2016 c11 Legion222
WUT.

...

WUT.

Write on,
Legion
4/14/2016 c10 Legion222
Oh man, can't believe I missed two updates.

Let's start from the beginning I guess. You've really swapped Malfoy and Potter in this story; Potter is an insufferable idiot with way too many issues to be healthy, while Malfoy is cool, collected, and just generally a decent guy.

The house elitism is as stupid as it is realistic. Some people will use any excuse to discriminate against others.

[rant]The 'Golden Trio.' Ugh, I feel like I need to wash my hands after typing that. Much like the 'Mane Six' (yup, washing hands after this) and other similarly stupid terms, I personally refuse to use it. It devalues the characters when the only way you think of them is using a Capitalized General Term that could refer to almost literally any other group with the same number of people. Do I hate you for using it? No. I just think it's stupid that group names like that were ever created by the fanbase.[/rant]

Okay, back from obligatory handwash. Let's get back to the review.

An evil Hermione duplicate threatening to throw children out of school? Something's going on here... At least actual Hermione is cool enough to make up for evil-her's actions.

Oh, and dat Chapter 9 cliffhanger. Heliod's beard, man. I'm actually glad I'm catching up because I would not want to have been left on that.

In other news, RIP Sleep Club, because McGonagall is having none of that. And again, I really feel a sort of passive hatred for how completely stupid Potter is being.

(Quick editing note, about halfway in, when Ral is asking Gideon to punch him: *"Okay great," Ral replied. "Punch me in the nose.[B1] "* random thingy at the end there.)

On the note of nose punching, of course Ral would go for the most straightforward way to get in there. Classic.

Malfoy is suddenly sick. Suspicious. Wonder what caused it...

Misty silhouettes and boneheaded escapes. Things are certainly getting interesting.

Keep it up. Sorry I missed a few reviews. Hopefully this makes up for it. :)

Write on,
Legion
4/4/2016 c7 Legion222
I thought the Room of Requirement was destroyed in that fire in Book 7. Though I suppose it was merely speculation on their parts, or perhaps the Room reparied itself a bit over time. Either way, Jace needed it, and he found it.

I really do like how you've managed to capture the Planeswalkers' personalities so well despite their different setting and upbringings. Especially Ral. Jace is, understandably, the exception, since the Jace we know today came about because he learned how to control his powers, whereas this Jace has had them suppressed and feared his whole life. Still, I hold out hope that he can one day grow into the trollsy mind mage we know and love.

I feel like I had something more to say but I forgot what it was so instead I'll skip ahead to the "great job once again!"

Write on,
Legion
4/1/2016 c6 Legion222
I'm beginning to like Malfoy more than Harry here. What happened to the guy that left him so messed up?

Kalist is... interesting. At least he's being a friend (of sorts) to Jace.

I did realize something while reading. Last chapter you described Ajani as a dark-skinned boy. Ajani is an albino Leonin. That is both ironic and somehow fitting. Well played.

Looking forward to a progress report from the Sleep Club. It'll be interesting to see how initial experimentaion and pairings have gone.

Write on,
Legion
3/31/2016 c5 Legion222
Oh man, I can't stop laughing. First Jace's cloud-dog, then we find out that Niv-Mizzet is Ral's dog. Brilliant! XD

So Death Eaters were searching for Jace during the war? I wonder what they wanted with him. Plus he apparently can share his dreams with others, albeit unintentionally.

Wait. Didn't Jace say he has nightmares about things he doesn't remember? Is it possible that at least some of them are actually others' nightmares that he's sharing? No, wait, that's what the cloak's for. Hmm.

This Sleep Club seems to be going well so far. And it's really not like they're doing anything wrong. Just embarrasing. Which is why they don't talk about it to teachers or Prefects. Yeah.

Another trio of Planeswalkers make an appearance, and so far it seems that every one of them but Ral and Kiora has nightmares of some kind (and all we really know about Kiora is that she didn't come to Sleep Club, which I doubt anyone told the Prefect about).

Loving the update frequency so far. Do you have it all pre-written or are you just that fast? Anyway, great job once again.

Write on,
Legion
3/30/2016 c3 Twodo
This is awesome! I love this crossover and you write so well. Just as with Counterflux,I'll be checking in for updates everyday with much excitment
3/30/2016 c4 Legion222
Quite a lot going on in this chapter, so this comment may well devolve into disorganized rambling as I try to cover everything I liked about it. You have been warned.

First off, it seems you answered both of my questions from last time. With Tamiyo (and Nissa from last chapter, actually) being included, I have to assume that the whole cast of Planeswalkers is available and will just be considered human in this story. Plus, we meet Gideon, answering my question of what name he goes by here. Not surprised you went with the more recognizable Gideon over Kytheon, which was only ever mentioned in Magic Origins.

But I digress. On to the next thing. Namely, Science is Magic! Or rather, magic is science. I like how you've explained it a bit so far instead of the typical handwave of "it's magic." Look forward to seeing what Ral and Hermione discover.

And we learn that Jace isn't the only student with nightmares. In fact, it now seems more likely that Ral could be the only one WITHOUT them; at least among the Planeswalkers. Anyway, time will tell if this "Sleep Club" yields any results.

I also noticed, whether it was intended or not (but I'm sure it was), that Elspeth seems to have a few other friends around Hogwarts, while Ral and Jace haven't really spent time with anyone but each other. A nice, subtle way to show us something about their relationships with the other students.

To be honest I haven't read many M/M shipfics, but a cursory glance through your story list indicates where this'll be going. Should be interesting.

I think that's about all I have the mental capacity for right now. Keep it up, and I hope you get to read someone else's reviews soon. I feel kinda bad for taking up all the review space so far.

Write on,
Legion
3/29/2016 c3 Legion222
You've definitely made me come to love Ral here. The fact that he intentionally blew up his potion in the name of science was perfect, and very fitting for a man who, in another life, was an Izzet mage.

Harry is so incredibly awkward. It feels like he has no idea what he's doing while everyone else has it all figured out, which is probably intentional and makes for some... interesting moments, like when he was having tea with Jace.

I do enjoy all of the Planeswalkers you've managed to throw into Hogwarts here, but I hope they won't all just be throwaway references. On a related note, since Kiora made an appearance as a regular human instead of a merfolk, would Ajani be human in this world as well? And would Gideon still be going by Kytheon Iora? The readers may never know...

And now they're sharing a bed. Surely nothing bad can come of this in the morning...

Anyway, another great chapter. Keep it up!

Write on,
Legion
3/28/2016 c2 Legion222
Well that was fast. Can we do that again? Chapterus Apperio!

...

Eh, it was worth a shot.

So, Elspeth and Ral, huh? Certainly not what I expected. And Kiora as a prefect? I can only hope she has some kind of fishy quirk we'll learn about later.

Anyway, on to the part that actually has to do with the chapter. Elspeth and Ral should make for good friends to our young telepath here, but I wonder if they, too, appeared mysteriously or were simply born on this plane. I also liked the touch where everyone's afraid of Slytherin and few if any students join its ranks each year. Seems quite realistic if you ask me; nobody really liked Slytherin BEFORE a number of the students joined Voldemort at the Battle of Hogwarts. I wonder if it's just because you get a lot of people who, like Harry, really don't want to go there, or for some other reason. Oh, and the Sorting Hat having to kick Jace out of its head was pretty funny.

Anyway, I think that's about it for this chapter. Looking good so far!

Write on,
Legion
3/27/2016 c1 Legion222
Interesting start. I hope for more soon; can't wait to see where you go with this.

Write on,
Legion

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