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for Petty little fight

7/10/2016 c1 6not a tenshi
Hello (: I'm not usually frank when it comes to giving reviews, choosing to focus on the positive points and praising what i like, etc, but your story has potential and I had a particularly good time reading it so here goes. First, the grammar is a bit weird for me. Errors in verb tense were quite noticeable in the first parts. When I saw an out-of-place capitalization, I ignored it at first, thinking that it was probably a mistake but it became repetitive as the story progressed that it might turn off some readers so you might wanna check on that. I also liked the essence of your dialogue but it felt unnatural. Say, for example, you wrote:
"You are special and such things shouldn't be taken for granted...If he is cheating on you with luka, then he is missing most amazing moments with you,...",
but saying it like,
"You are special and you shouldn't be taken for granted. If he's cheating on you with Luka, then he's missing out on the most amazing person I know."
feels more casual. Anyway, it's just my humble opinion. I would suggest rereading it to check out grammatical mistakes or have someone proofread the story for you in the future.
Another point I'd like to bring up is Rinto's character. Yeah, he seems like a charming guy but he's so forward to the point that he almost assaulted Miku, a girl who's already in a relationship with his brother, so shouldn't he be Idunno a little bit held-back? Or maybe that's part of his unyielding childish nature. Also, I was confused when there was a 'Luna' character. I thought she was a Vocaloid I didn't know but she turned out to be Luka hehe. Again, proofreading is highly suggested.
I liked it when Miku accidentally hugged the wrong guy, Rinto. That part was amusing and had me hooked on to this story. Though, I'm not saying there should be more scenes like that because I'm partial to LenKu, hehe. It's what got me to this story in the first place. Then, you mentioned that this was gonna be a MiNto fic, which is not my cup of tea, but I guess that's okay, hehe, as long as there won't be a RinLen (or not, your choice). Might I suggest that if Rin won't be a main character consider replacing or adding Rinto to your main characters?
Anyway, that's all I wanted to say, I hope I didn't come harsh. Overall, you did a good job and I hope this helps you.
7/10/2016 c2 14shiraisuru
oh god. I thought you didn't updating this story again
3/29/2016 c1 1euls
/cries a ocean/

3/28/2016 c1 5008080
This was fun to read omg. Couldn't decided which to ship tho, both rinto and len were amusing in their own way. Miku you lucky girl.

I spotted some mistakes here and there but all in all everything is neat and great. I especiallg love the portrayal of the characters. (:

Looking forward to your future lenku, or perhaps minto, works! Hopefully, gee. Keep up the good work! (:
3/27/2016 c1 ilovevocaloid93

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