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for Lilo's Magical Mission

4/25/2016 c3 24Crimson Priestess of Miracles
It looks good, but it's not exactly my taste with Lilo and Stitch. I just don't like them.
4/23/2016 c10 121SaintHeartwing
Ooh, using Bonnie, Clyde AND Reuben for this, huh? Good choices! :)
4/10/2016 c5 11Euphonemes
An interesting blend of the traditional story with elements of your own creation! As The Not-So-Ultimate Writer noted, you've maintained strong parallels with the original film's plot. I also see the introduction of several elements from the television series - the chapters bring about a somewhat episodic feel as Lilo and Stitch suss out their new roles as protectors. Through this story, it seems that some of the characters' roles have been altered, but they still emulate much of their original personalities. I think Gantu's is perhaps the most tantalizing of the transformations - what a fascinating role in which to place him! I look forward to seeing his role expand and grow, especially in his relationships with the other protagonists.
On a more technical note, I see a lot of the same descriptive words appear in the chapters. For instance, "ambled" pops up a lot. It's not a bad thing, but maybe some more variation with word selection would more strongly communicate the feelings of the characters. As an example: When Cobra enters the scene in this chapter, maybe instead of ambling over to the door (since, at least in my mind, ambled is a slower and more leisurely paced walk) Stitch moves with purpose - either he flies or rushes over, or perhaps strides with conviction. Given how protective he is of Lilo, anyone strange to Stitch might evoke that strong protective response within him. (Or, perhaps Stitch did walk leisurely to the door in the film - even if this is not the best example, I hope it illustrates my point).
Excited to see where you take this story!
4/10/2016 c4 16The Not-So-Ultimate Writer
I'm mostly reviewing because I didn't see any reviews for this one yet. It's a good concept and I notice you're still making this somewhat parallel to the movie. Still, I don't see a reason why Nani would lose her job.
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