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9/13/2021 c15 Guest
Yo, wheres the nxt chapter. Its been months.
12/21/2020 c13 Red Girl
for the pairing why don't you make it Garnero be pretty cool make it a twist twist it by making it so he was in who hate my side of the story
12/20/2020 c4 Red Girl
Is narrow the older sibling or not you're not and if he was in a meadow are twins then how can I be eight Neroes eight made that clear you're just confusing me in a whole Nother level I don't know if it's just me or what

Could you make it clear in future chapters please
5/14/2020 c15 laurajustin
Great story! Can't wait for the next update!
12/6/2019 c4 FaeGhostReader
33 question marks?
11/30/2019 c15 FaeGhostReader
Please update
9/2/2019 c1 1dragonfire1222
I have an interval!

Now to next commission


Brought to you by the ;Spring of Youth; I Got Lost on the Path of Life; etc.

Just choose a new thing every interval or even (my personal fav)

Brought to you by virtual cookies
1/29/2019 c15 Guest
- Tactics
Am I misremembering things, if I recall that Naruto does know how to use a bow?

Regular explosive tags tied to arrows, combined with poison gas tags might've been a better way to thin out the fort. The AoE would've had a chance to hit a priority target (Like Shika, Hinata or Sasuke), wihixh the Chakra shots couldn't do and without the risks of the chakra blast.

Also isn't she allowed to spam more clones to make up for her losses? Seems dilly not to do so.

Next up, sending chains into the ground to swarm their "fox hole" during the bombardment at the end could've been handy as well.

With luck, they could've enwrapped Hiruzen and go for the quick "kill" with him.

The Sage's daddy's boys are going to be an issue. Shutting them down early is only prudent to prevent further escalation, like them trying to kill her for real.

Lastly, she could've claimed that Horuzen's bijuuda killed off the prisoners she'd taken.

The current phrasing makes it seem he merely hit some that weren't in the fort, but could've still contributed.

It's far more horrifying to know you killed off your own imprisoned people. Might cause more friction between Hiruzen and Mito as well. A divided enemy is a good thing.
1/26/2019 c1 Elim Garak
You have problems with grammar even in your story description/blurb. Take a look at tenses - half of the description is in past tense, the other in present. The same is happening in the story itself - you switch from past tense to present and back again.
1/26/2019 c15 Guest
Yo,how about a secret objective been met by Naru and she gets a unsc style militere base and all things inclueded in like a personel space that only she can acces for now.
12/24/2018 c6 jaselp00
Love this chapter. Especially the early part.
11/11/2018 c1 Oblivious IJ

[ -/ _ \- ]


~ OnIJ
10/27/2018 c10 wtf
hope you don't make naru a fag cause that would ruin the story
9/30/2018 c14 Misaka Phenex
fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight fight Fight
9/30/2018 c13 Misaka Phenex
duck butt u dead boi
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