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3/30/2020 c12 1tear that cherry out
hey! i read this a few days ago but never got the chance to review!

chase's development was very dark. i think a lot of this story was v dark considering that the children never got the chance to actually mentally prepare for something like this lol, much unline canon STOTs, and that was evident in the last few lines of the story. its a shame that we couldnt see that aspect of the story more in depth, but i enjoyed the ride nonetheless!

ailsa dumb bitch opening a cupboard and not even realising there was someone in there... worms on the brain. i suppose im the one to blame for that since i created her lol. thank you for bringing her to life! excited to see what your other story has in store for us!

until next time bby x
3/25/2020 c12 1Alice Kingsleighs
My Baby Nats placed second, WOW I literally did not expect this
God, the way she went fucked me up, fukc u Soph for giving me feels again thank u very much ;-;
She was one of the best tribs I made. I'm glad this story finally has a closure ️️️
3/23/2020 c12 10TheAmazingJAJ
omg thank you for finishing this it's so nice to know that there's an ending :)))
3/23/2020 c12 7Cashmere67
woohoo
3/23/2020 c12 2sock-feet-and-stirring-sand
hi!

first off, i’m so glad you decided to summarise this- I think in a way it was a relief to know there would be closure, finality, that this story wouldn’t be left dangling forever. I also liked the sense of suspense you built in the way you wrote this- announcing their deaths after rather than before the POV (unlike most summaries) and mixing up whether the killer or killed was the narrator. well done!

i’ll definitely go through this again and mourn the fallen because, and maybe this was partly due to a smaller contestant size, but I really loved all these characters and the way you brought them to life. i’ve said something of this sort in probably all my reviews but I mean it! they continuously developed new details and ways to seem even more real and beautiful and i’m very happy to have gotten to read this!

i’m happy chase won- in a way... the brevity and sorrow of that last bit of the story kind of sucked out any pride because she’s definitely worse off than had she just been killed. a girl like her, social and energetic, now isolated and cold with no real relationship with the only people left who can understand her. I will say, props to your final plan for her freezing them all! it was very clever and I actually grinned a little when I realised what was happening, proving that i’m a terrible person and a sadist. but honestly, the thing that was so different about this story/world to me was that it felt like they should have stayed in that pre-Games stage forever... that they could have lived with that bit of freedom and happiness forever. someone will have to write an AU about that...

but anyways, in lieu of a more formal send off/thanks for writing this, it’s been real! stay in touch if you’d like, and hey, if you choose to get back into another story, you can guarantee another submission from me. do your worst ;)
2/2/2019 c11 23symphorophilia
you know what! I may be terrible at timing but I always follow through on my promises k! always!

okay anywho im here to review boo :P

So the situation is bad. The kids have nowhere to turn and they Are Not Alright (tm). Especially because their phones are gone. But that aside, it's interesting to see how differently everyone is processing the situation; Arian is angry, Mitchell is in denial, Natalie is pissed and disbelieving in equal measures, Paige is resistant... Antonio feels a bit resigned. He'll be interesting to see with Ailsa and Natalie; these three all have very different personalities but I can see them getting on well with each other at least for awhile. Strategically, it's good to have strength in numbers, so even if they aren't exactly friends, that's not bad.

Raine and Etienne are perfect together. I fucking love this alliance. It's odd to think of them as friends because their personalities seem so radically different but at the same time Raine can provide the stability Etienne probably needs in a situation like this and Etienne will try to keep him positive and do some spontaneous stuff so x) hopefully it doesn't get them killed. I cannot believe he fell asleep on watch dfghjnk. Well I can but STILL. At least Mitchell isn't one of those who seems like he's about to start killing right off the bat, and Raine handled it as well as can be expected... was kind of hoping Mitchell might join them but meh. Hope the kid can do alright on his own ;-;

Chase and Laurel are great together. I sensed BFFs from first meeting and BFFs they are turning out to be! Them emptying their packs and realizing they essentially have soccer balls for weapons is fantastic xD Hard to kill anyone with a soccer ball unless you can punt it up into their head. Kinda sad to hear about all the plans Laurel had for after Detroit, given she's got a 1/12 chance of surviving. But hey, what happens happens… and who knows, maybe she'll get free to take off and travel somewhere. Sadly Chase won't be with her if she does. Ipod is probably one of the better things to have in the games, but they probably didn't leave her a charger... fUCKING SADISTS. And now they're letting Arian join them. Are he and Chase gonna have a thing. Are they gonna be a thing. Arian she has a boyfriend dammit. CHASE HOW U THINK HE'S CUTE im questioning your taste in men. Why do I get the impression this won't go well...

See u round Sophia~
12/29/2018 c11 1tear that cherry out
i love u so gotdamn much
12/21/2018 c11 2sock-feet-and-stirring-sand
I was so glad I stayed up last night & checked my email before I went to bed! every time this story updates I get so excited and yeah part of that comes from the fact it’s been a minute since the last update but honestly I’m just excited it’s still going! good to see you back love.

Antonio-
I think the most interesting thing about this is how small of a group it is- how everyone, even if they don’t really know each other, know each other’s names, some personal details, has essentially already humanized each other, like Antonio is trying not to do here. Their alliance seems a little dysfunctional already, since they don’t have much in common and they literally picked each other based on proximity. Maybe one of them will prove to be useful. Or maybe they’ll just fall apart.

Raine-
God I’m so happy to see him and Etienne together, let me tell you. Raine’s so funny, too. Such a nice kid, and then he’s talking all about the details of a fight he barely even witnessed, which was really amusing. Poor kid definitely regrets living so safely, but how was he supposed to know?
That was… unexpected from Raine, to attack, but I guess it makes sense given his dissatisfaction with the way he’d lived so far. I’m glad no one got seriously hurt here, but how would Raine have even killed him, anyways? I have trouble believing he would have strangled him with his bare hands…

Chasey-
And god I’m so happy these two are together too! Although it’s probably too much to hope for that they’d get into any more games. Not the time anymore.
Everyone but Arian seems to be saying they’d never kill, but I don’t believe it. Clearly Chase has proven that she feels she’s an exception to the rule before and I have no doubt she’ll make herself believe that again if she has to.
This was the moment when I realized that junior year Alison should have put more thought into what Chase had in her knapsack. I mean, maybe she could knock someone out with a soccer ball if she kicked it hard enough, but two is really overkill here. Dammit Laurel.
I’ve really started to hate Arian. Also, I’m just gonna say it, it’s weird that they fucked. It was funny at the time but now they’re here and he’s being cringey and goddamnit chase I just realized she cheated on her boyfriend. Why is she like this. Also Arian is probably gonna kill one of them. But whatever, her decision, not mine.

RIP Mac.

Okay please teach me your ways. You’re saying you can just crank something like this out in a few hours? And post it? Wtf I’m jealous.
You’ve come back to this so many times that I have no doubt you’ll finish it. I don’t mind how slow it goes!

Here’s my biased chart:
Like: chase
Neutral: raine & antonio
Dislike: arian’s pretentious ass god who invited him
11/3/2017 c1 JayFC
I love these types of SYOT variations. Please do a sequel to this, I want in haha
10/12/2017 c10 sock-feet-and-stirring-sand
um holy fuck?

i was gonna just read this and then review tomorrow but i realized i wouldn't be able to get it out of my mind if i didn't just review right away so ya. DAMN.

i knew i should have just done this as i read, now this is gonna be all crazy and disorganized sorry in advance

payton-
yo. so i really like how he's filming everything and honestly? i want this tape to get out. cause no one but paige and a couple other kids know about it. elle doesn't, and she was right there, so he has that little secret.
aw there are my kids. fucking chase and laurel always fucking around.
i think i see payton as not being sheltered, i kind of have him in my mind as some antonio/arian hybrid and clearly those two aren't even close to being sheltered, so it's weird to me that he says he is, idk. i legitimately think he could be an underdog here, i see him as a potential winner for some reason. just his attitude and the fact we still don't know much about him.
by the way i hate having to talk about everyone having a chance to live or not! why is this happening! let them all live they don't deserve this :(

seriously if anyone dies i'm deleting. don't tempt me

devon-
still tryna figure out how they're making this earthquake shit work. this is wild.
oh SHIT i see this plan! make them hungry and make them eat the drugged fruit that's some genius right there. works every time. and now i want some stupid applesauce
"i'm reeling his ass in" made me laugh btw
okay i don't know how she's able to stay calm in a sitch like this, not that she's super calm but i just don't know how she can fake sleep so well? that's such a skill? why do i fixate on the weirdest details that's the real question
OKAY. shit's getting real now. i'm not prepared.

etienne-
my dumb son. was it only this morning that these kids all met each other? why does it seem like ages to me?
colton. what have you become? getting eliminated from Idol really fucks you up doesn't it? but there's something i really like about him reading this script from a phone- like, he can't fully distance himself from being in their places, he isn't detached enough to recite it from memory without regret, clearly he cares, and it's sad.
why is this dialogue so perfect and so sad. colton's anger was so... real. it felt real. it hurt. he's physically sick over this and that's what makes it so mind-blowing. honestly reading through so many hg fics has made me more or less desensitized to most of the emotions in the parts where people have to face their deaths or the emotional consequences of killing people- not to mention they're usually written in cliche ways or in a somewhat faraway tone- but this brings me back. i should feel this heartbroken and disgusted with the evil of the killing every time i read about it. esp when elle starts sobbing- clearly it still affects her, she's not just saying that. even when she acts so high and mighty she's fucked up too.
something about her hiding in kenny's sweatshirt is so sad and helpless to me. how do you make me despise her in one POV and ache for her in another?

you messed me up and no one's even died yet. goddamn. etienne's didn't feel too long, don't worry, the rest actually seemed short cause i wanted more more more. hope you're having a really good month, and thanks for posting again, cause it really brightens my night!

(ironically i'm both dying for another chapter and hoping i never have to see them kill each other... goddamn it... just do what you have to do, i'll find a way to live i guess)
10/11/2017 c9 sock-feet-and-stirring-sand
hi hi
this was lovely as always okay i’ll skip the usual gushy intro though lets do this

laurel-
six hours?! like, what were they supposed to be doing for six hours? and how have they stayed sane with elle there talking all damn day? makes sense that she and chase would finally decide to dip out.
ooh, but their fighting’s not good though. guess it was only a matter of time before their similar attitudes started clashing. idk, laurel’s right though, chase has been kind of obnoxious to her. i think she’s funny. “we haven’t been through jack shit.” and i laughed “damn, now would be a good time to be blind.”
damn, this last part made me nostalgic, too… laurel gets it. there’s nothing like a good team to get you through the bad times. still have to wonder why laurel left in the first place, if she misses them so much. like, i remember her calling herself a pussy in the bathroom mirror, but she never said why, and it’s killing me cause it’s gotta be good.
also should i not be getting such bad vibes from the fact chase and laurel are now separate from the group? i guess she said arian and mitchell might be gone too but still that’s kinda sketchy to me..

raine-
okay, jk, like half the people are gone, so maybe it’s not so bad. seems like elle and everyone else are realllyyy unequipped to handle even the slightest inconvenience. like, it took her 6 hours to remember her flashlight?
payton would suggest playing never have i ever...
raine, my child. never gotten worse than a b. good job son.
“he didn’t seem to mind too much, just cried for a solid twenty minutes before biting into some toast” WHAT. AND HE HASN’T HAD A BIRTHDAY- I’M-
every damn chapter i love etienne more please keep him safe he doesn’t deserve this hell he's already been through so much-
okay, so there’s this storm, but it’s like a cover-up or something? was all this planned? i mean, maybe not all of it, but elle’s not really scared, she’s just pretending. this is scary though, everything’s shaking, i’d be losing my mind too.
i feel like raine did the right thing. right? going back for etienne? if he were the only one not in the storm cellar i’d be thinking otherwise, but more than half the group isn’t even on the right floor at this point, so. not that that’s not still sketchy but at least they aren't just singled out and alone out there.

natalie-
i love paige but i also love natalie for giving no shits and calling her out. also, so much love for ailsa, but duh, i say that whenever i see her, too.
clearly natalie’s the one here with the most street smarts. i guess that was clear in her first pov having to get herself to detroit and all that, but when the news breaks that everyone’s going to have to start killing each other, i hope they realize how much of an asset she can be.
then again, i’m pretty sure she just led them straight where they don’t want to be. not that they’re really safe in the building at all, but idk.

sorry my revs don’t make logical sense by the end lmaooo but yo. one more chap. i’m so excited because i know you’ve got something really cool planned for the games and i’m all for it, whatever it is. and i’m maybe even more hyped to find out the truth about these tribs? laurel especially.
much love for you too! thanks for posting all these chaps, i get really happy reading them again.
9/23/2017 c8 5Anslvy
Arian: I love the way you're writing him. The lunchroom scene, him and Chase lmao, Antonio's lil' ol heated moment. I like that everyone's together, all in the same group. Alsooo, I love that little addiction moment that he had where out of nowhere he wants a pill, and how he's so open to the attention of everyone else with whatever jokes he can crack up. Aw, the kid's still unhappy, though. ;I He's gonna be so torn when he finds out what's about to come. Basically, I love everything you're doing with him! The mention of his sketchy ass friends, too, aw, yes. Thanks for writing him so well! :) I thought Ohio was a State lol. It is, bruh, the joke completely slipped over my head.

Paige: This was a really fun one. Most kids don't seem like they'd be laughing and smiling after falling in the darkness, only to realize that they're still alive. I like her bravery and toughness, 'cuz I'm pretty sure this could traumatize someone lmao. The environment and everything about it was realistic, which I loved. I wasn't sure what to expect when she was falling; kinda figured this was a way of dwindling the competition, but that was a huge doubt in my mind and lasted for like a second. Can't help but feel like these activities are building them up, or maybe I'm completely wrong and it's just a time-consuming thing, but still. Overall, this pov was enjoyable and really different in an exciting way.

Mitchell: Damn, he's lived such a boring life. It's good to get out when a corn roast is the most hyped-up thing going on in your town. I figure that being here is gonna light up a little bit more joy for him, but it's pretty sad. All these kids show some - even if it's only a little - remembrance of home and their family and friends, and they all probably think they'll be able to go back. Like I said before, I tend to forget that only one of them is most likely gonna come back out. Elle freaking out is pretty weird, interesting? Yeah, rich ass people tend to always have power, but is the light going out really that important? What's up with that? You always make me more interested as these chapters go on. I like this kid a lot, how he likes to keep an open mind and stuff, but life doesn't seem to be much of his deal? I don't know how to word that. He's kinda like me, in a sense, with the whole letting life flow. He's not much of a decision-maker, just a leaf following the path of a river (whoaaaaaa), which is so relatable for me, but what happens when he's actually forced with a serious situation? That's a huge difference. Idk if he'll be able to deal with it since he's not used to it and pushes it away. He's a special one. I hope he can change a lil' bit once this whole thing starts.

I really like your updating pattern. These chapters are coming at a really nice rate so that it isn't too hard to catch up, and it's hard to get behind. Enjoying this, as usual, so pretty excited for what's to come!
9/21/2017 c7 Anslvy
Chase: She's definitely raised up to a like for me. I love how energetic and excited she usually is. Deadass, Chase would probably be a fun person to chill with irl if she was honestly being just herself. The religion references, her easily fitting into a lil' group and talking, and the way she introduced Laurel and shit. Fr, girl's really fun to read. Yeahhh, her and Laurel are definitely a favorite duo, no question. Lmaoo, idk why but my dumbass figured that ''You want to go to a boy's floor and see if any of them wanna play a game?'' was gonna be some innocent shit. I deadass have the most immature mind when it comes to legit everything, and I wasn't ready for what came next lmao.

Antonio: This pov was honestly my favorite lmaoo. Like, no bs, I was so into it, too. Them going back and forth with the name calling, a lil' banter, Antonio thinking deeply. Seriously, I loved reading about his routine and how he was so used to doing the same thing everyday without disruption. And the talk of his mom was so real, like, Antonio's pov was highkey felt deep as hell. It really made me like him so much more than I already did. And then lmaooooooo, I deadass cried reading this. Arian shoulda charged him twenty for a pill, wth. He's lowkey a plug, handing out pills to anyone who wants. Aw, ain't he a good kid? As soon as Antonio woke up and said he felt a body next to his, I figured some shit was going down, and I'm fucking deceased. His shriek and all that, omg. I'm still laughing while typing this out, yo. He was sooooo angry at the end, YO I'M FUCKIN SCREAMING LMAO... I feel bad for him, and idk why, but omg. I'm really curious on what he was gonna say, though, before Ar blacked out. Ahh, Antonio, haha.

Aisla: I really like their friendship. Idk, their vibe's so chill, and they can talk to each other about anything. Like, that's honestly the best type of connection you can have with someone where nothing gets awkward, y'all are feeling each other and things are just smooth. Aisla's feelings are aw, she's pretty damn sweet and caring. I like that she's willing to put her own taste in Gillian so that they can be what they've always been. It kinda sucks, 'cuz they're a good fit together, but hey. They're awesome friends, but ugh. I legit forget sometimes that all of these guys will have to kill each other soon, and that sucks. Anyway, yeah, both are great.
9/15/2017 c6 Anslvy
Etienne: Ah haha, Etienne's a dweeb! In a good way, tho, I really like him. Yeah, he's hella clumsy. Slipping twice and busting your ass while naked? Idk how he dealt, I woulda felt so dirty after touching the floor, especially after a shower. Lmaoo, the shampoo in his eyes killed me. He's gonna be really fun, I'm assuming. Him and Raine have this weird friendship where they're comfortable with each other but awkward at the same time? I'm wondering what was going on through Raine's head when he saw Etienne in that position, hmm? The end of this pov got me the most. ''I'm not black...'' Lol I wasn't expecting Etienne to be the one to bring up stereotypes, but he's just full of surprises, ain't he? Raine's such a kind fellow, he deals with this shit so calmly. These two are gonna be a fun ass pair.

Devon: Devon's pretty bomb, ngl. Her conversation with Arian lowkey put a smile on my face. They both have a sense of humor, which is nice to see. I wasn't expecting the Oz jokes, but I got 'em and that shit was relaxing. I feel like these two would really work well with each other. Idk, maybe that's just me talking because they have the terrible family background. Fr, both of their lives sound like shit. She's probably got it worse than him, tho, depending on who's talking. It sucks to think that maybe her mom and sister would've tried to bring her into the ''family business,'' but shit. Who woulda thought? Arian giving some wise words? Can't give it to himself but can for sure get it out to other people. She actually stopped to think about it and completely zoned him out. His useless facts were beautiful, I'm sure Devon loved listening. This was a semi-serious one, I'd say, with lowkey deep shit at the end. I'd love to see these two communicate more and get to know each other better, but knowing Arian... lmao, bruh.

Payton: LOL I originally didn't know what to think about Payton because I had no idea what he would spell out, but I'm really satisfied with the outcome. Idk why, but I'm not surprised that this is Jalen's tribute. He would come up with something like this, and that makes it all the more better. YouTuber is really interesting. You'd think that'd lowkey be a sorta common thing, but nah, he's a special one. He overestimates himself a LOT, but I'm glad that the kid has confidence. He's lowkey actually kinda chill under that persona of his. I'm wondering if he's actually insecure af on the inside, but he seems to be having fun with himself. That comment that he made on Antonio's ''freckled opinion'' got me lmao. He's a good laugh, and a really fun character, too. He's somethin' else. I'd probably subscribe to him and tune in on his little food reviews and shit. What a guy.

Glad that you're back and updating, this story's soooooo good.
9/15/2017 c5 Anslvy
Damn, I'm behind. My bad for the late ass reviews but I'ma try to catch up with everything today. Seriously one of my favorite stories on this site, and the realism's amazing.

Natalie: Mmmm, I do like her. She's interesting in a way, but I can't really tell what draws me to her. Look at her taking the world head on, getting a motel and paying for her own taxi ride. She's really chill, though, judging by how she was describing how shitty her living conditions were in that room. The background details were a good read, too. I guess she's one to take things into notice but not dwell on them as much as you'd expect? When she started talking about foreshadowing, I was expecting her to go all whatever you call it. The word's not coming to mind rn, smh. Ngl, I thought some shit was gonna start when Devon bumped into her. Natalie seems like if you really get to her, she's gonna snap and be on your ass for a hot minute. Loved the little appearances of others here, too. Gave us a little glimpse of both Etienne and Arian's personalities, and I got a good chuckle out of both of their mentions. She's a fun one, that's for sure. Can't wait to see more of her.

Raine: Lmaooooooo, omg he's so polite and proper. Idk what to call Raine. I only use adorable when I'm laughing or making fun of friends in a nonchalant way, but he's adorable. Fr, the kid's too pure and genuine. I love that everyone so far has been open and aren't shy to talk. There's nothing wrong with that, but it's so much more fun to read when everyone gets along with each other or is just able to make friends easily. Him and Antonio bonding for a bit, talking to Paige (she's popular, isn't she?), and even feeling some type of way about Etienne. The number of 62 teens being there really caught my eye. I'm interested by how/what you're planning on doing to dwindle the numbers and keep it to our main cast. The partner system makes me curious, too. Etienne sounds like he's clumsy af, and Raine seems like the type to really try to go out of his way to help someone. Maybe it's clashing personalities that determine who's with who? Idk, but overall, Raine's a favorite fo sho.

Laurel: Yoooo, these two are fun asf. They just spell out that they're gonna be the troublemakers of this story. Dynamic duo? Tag team? Some shit like that. I love that they're both not afraid to be a little violent and even fucked around and hit the shit out of one another, even after only knowing each other for a few minutes. Her Satan comment got me lmao, and that asphyxiation comment was mad dark but shit had me rolling, too. She's hypocritical for sure, but I like it with her. I usually don't like tributes who go against what they say, but she's got it. Her backstory is probably loaded. Like, idk what significance soccer has on her life, but it seems pretty heavy. She's hella hard on herself, though, with those pussy comments. Can't relate too much with that, but people who're hard on themselves seem to have hard times figuring things out. Maybe that's why she's here? Laurel's got my interest as an early favorite. Her and Chase click so well together, I can't help but feel that Chase might influence her later on in the story.

Gooooood shit, I like all three of them a lot. Raine was definitely my favorite out of the bunch here, though, and then Laurel, Natalie. But all of 'em are great in their own ways. Ready to see more of everyone, yo.
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