for Fate: Gamer Night - SE11/9/2023 c19 VamPyr00
Yeesh...you've completely changed the Holy Grail Wars to be almost unrecognizable. Making the objective to grab 13 Mana Clusters instead of just defeating the other Servants brings a whole new level of intricacy to the Grail Wars. The fact that you added all of these new mechanics ON TOP of increasing the scale to match the Apocrypha Grail War seems pretty unnecessary in my opinion.
According to your description, each Mana Cluster has the ability to summon an additional Servant OR power up an existing Servant. In other words, those with massive mana capacities (even utilizing mana batteries) will be able to summon their own team of Servants, adding even more chaos and scale to the Wars.
Not to mention the possibility of simply storming the Mirror World and attaining 13 Mana Clusters from the monsters there without even fighting another Servant or Master. The whole thing seems overly complicated and unnecessary, considering how complicated even a normal Holy Grail War is in the Fate series.
In my opinion, you are adding TOO much content for this level of story. All this will do is cut down on individual character development and make all the characters seem one dimensional and shallow. Not to mention the potentially annoying amount of POVs from the many different characters or the inevitable snail's Pacing. I'll be EXTREMELY surprised if you can pull all of that off without reducing Character Development OR destroying the readers' immersion.
Yeesh...you've completely changed the Holy Grail Wars to be almost unrecognizable. Making the objective to grab 13 Mana Clusters instead of just defeating the other Servants brings a whole new level of intricacy to the Grail Wars. The fact that you added all of these new mechanics ON TOP of increasing the scale to match the Apocrypha Grail War seems pretty unnecessary in my opinion.
According to your description, each Mana Cluster has the ability to summon an additional Servant OR power up an existing Servant. In other words, those with massive mana capacities (even utilizing mana batteries) will be able to summon their own team of Servants, adding even more chaos and scale to the Wars.
Not to mention the possibility of simply storming the Mirror World and attaining 13 Mana Clusters from the monsters there without even fighting another Servant or Master. The whole thing seems overly complicated and unnecessary, considering how complicated even a normal Holy Grail War is in the Fate series.
In my opinion, you are adding TOO much content for this level of story. All this will do is cut down on individual character development and make all the characters seem one dimensional and shallow. Not to mention the potentially annoying amount of POVs from the many different characters or the inevitable snail's Pacing. I'll be EXTREMELY surprised if you can pull all of that off without reducing Character Development OR destroying the readers' immersion.
11/9/2023 c18 VamPyr00
I don't like the fact that some random girl knows about his Gamer Eyes. The only ways she could know about them are either by having a way to analyze/identify them, having them herself, knowing a previous weilder of them, or being somehow tied to the system/eyes themselves. Frankly, I don't like any of those possible explanations.
It is interesting that the 5th Holy Grail War seems to be incoming so soon. If I remember correctly, Shirou was 17ish during the 5th Holy Grail War in F/SN. That should be at least 6 years away...so maybe there will be a timeskip?
I don't like the fact that some random girl knows about his Gamer Eyes. The only ways she could know about them are either by having a way to analyze/identify them, having them herself, knowing a previous weilder of them, or being somehow tied to the system/eyes themselves. Frankly, I don't like any of those possible explanations.
It is interesting that the 5th Holy Grail War seems to be incoming so soon. If I remember correctly, Shirou was 17ish during the 5th Holy Grail War in F/SN. That should be at least 6 years away...so maybe there will be a timeskip?
11/8/2023 c17 VamPyr00
Didn't he originally have the ability to sense magic based off smell or something? That seems like the way to go, honestly. He also needs to utilize his Projections better imo.
Didn't he originally have the ability to sense magic based off smell or something? That seems like the way to go, honestly. He also needs to utilize his Projections better imo.
11/8/2023 c13 VamPyr00
I find the idea of an 'intimidating face' coming from a 10 year old kid hilarious. All I can imagine is a cute little pout/glare lol. I AM glad to see he is losing some of his submissive behavior though. Catering to the whims of a sexy sadist girl is one thing but Shirou is TOO submissive for his own good, imo. It is one of the things I dislike about his character even in the Canon.
I find the idea of an 'intimidating face' coming from a 10 year old kid hilarious. All I can imagine is a cute little pout/glare lol. I AM glad to see he is losing some of his submissive behavior though. Catering to the whims of a sexy sadist girl is one thing but Shirou is TOO submissive for his own good, imo. It is one of the things I dislike about his character even in the Canon.
11/8/2023 c11 VamPyr00
Glad to see he's FINALLY making some progress on his magecraft. Not utilizing or even LOOKING at all the options his new powers bring him until now is extremely dumb. I guess it makes sense with how stupid Shirou typically is but not even knowing what Inventory did is pretty absurd, even for him. Almost any game EVER has some type of inventory, so it shouldn't have been a new concept to him even if he only lightly played games.
Glad to see he's FINALLY making some progress on his magecraft. Not utilizing or even LOOKING at all the options his new powers bring him until now is extremely dumb. I guess it makes sense with how stupid Shirou typically is but not even knowing what Inventory did is pretty absurd, even for him. Almost any game EVER has some type of inventory, so it shouldn't have been a new concept to him even if he only lightly played games.
11/8/2023 c10 VamPyr00
I'm glad this won't be an actual Crossover with Bleach, at least. I like Bleach but that would have added a LOT of unnecessary things to the plot for Fate. Imagine how much Sosuke Aizen would wreck the Fate series entirely. Most Bleach characters are already stronger than Servants, so I'm glad that won't be happening.
I'm glad this won't be an actual Crossover with Bleach, at least. I like Bleach but that would have added a LOT of unnecessary things to the plot for Fate. Imagine how much Sosuke Aizen would wreck the Fate series entirely. Most Bleach characters are already stronger than Servants, so I'm glad that won't be happening.
11/8/2023 c8 VamPyr00
Yeesh...I thought you were just throwing in crossover characters for fun but it seems that this is at least a partial crossover with Bleach, possibly more. Crossovers are listed in a different section from non-Crossovers for a reason, since many people don't like them. Judging by the background info Yoruichi just gave, this should probably be listed in the Crossover section rather than the Fate/Stay Night section.
On another note, I don't mind smut but the fact that he seems to be ignoring his magecraft is pretty annoying. As far as I can tell, he's made no progress at all with his magecraft since he started learning/fucking with Saeko. Adding Yoruichi and a Bleach crossover into the mix is just going to hamper the already slow pacing even further in my opinion.
Yeesh...I thought you were just throwing in crossover characters for fun but it seems that this is at least a partial crossover with Bleach, possibly more. Crossovers are listed in a different section from non-Crossovers for a reason, since many people don't like them. Judging by the background info Yoruichi just gave, this should probably be listed in the Crossover section rather than the Fate/Stay Night section.
On another note, I don't mind smut but the fact that he seems to be ignoring his magecraft is pretty annoying. As far as I can tell, he's made no progress at all with his magecraft since he started learning/fucking with Saeko. Adding Yoruichi and a Bleach crossover into the mix is just going to hamper the already slow pacing even further in my opinion.
11/8/2023 c6 VamPyr00
His Charisma seems TOO OP in my opinion. Any woman that sees him will basically become obsessed with him at this point and the idiot wasted his 15 spare points for MORE Charisma!
With how fast everything is rising, he would have been better off putting those points into increasing his stamina. Since his Magic Circuits are basically going to be ignored for the Nerve Circuits, enhancing his base Stamina is the next best choice in my opinion.
I hope he starts focusing a little more on his magecraft soon though, since sword skills will be almost useless against Servants and basically any decent magi. Though with the pacing it is doubtful that the story even makes it to the next Grail War or Servant summoning.
His Charisma seems TOO OP in my opinion. Any woman that sees him will basically become obsessed with him at this point and the idiot wasted his 15 spare points for MORE Charisma!
With how fast everything is rising, he would have been better off putting those points into increasing his stamina. Since his Magic Circuits are basically going to be ignored for the Nerve Circuits, enhancing his base Stamina is the next best choice in my opinion.
I hope he starts focusing a little more on his magecraft soon though, since sword skills will be almost useless against Servants and basically any decent magi. Though with the pacing it is doubtful that the story even makes it to the next Grail War or Servant summoning.
11/8/2023 c4 VamPyr00
Meh, I think you should have aged Shirou up to at least 13 or so before going into this lol. It would have seemed a lot more realistic, considering the body grows much more around that age than it would at 10 years old. I like the system, but I just found the low age thing kind of weird. It's not like it would have been hard and a few years timeskip would have actually done very good for the pacing so far.
On another note, why isn't he Projecting, Structurally Analyzing, and Reinforcing swords specifically so that he will get that 2000% bonus? Seems like an easy way to level those skills. Even Cooking could probably be helped by utilizing projected swords or something for chopping things. A 2000% boost just seems like something that should be thoroughly abused IMO.
Meh, I think you should have aged Shirou up to at least 13 or so before going into this lol. It would have seemed a lot more realistic, considering the body grows much more around that age than it would at 10 years old. I like the system, but I just found the low age thing kind of weird. It's not like it would have been hard and a few years timeskip would have actually done very good for the pacing so far.
On another note, why isn't he Projecting, Structurally Analyzing, and Reinforcing swords specifically so that he will get that 2000% bonus? Seems like an easy way to level those skills. Even Cooking could probably be helped by utilizing projected swords or something for chopping things. A 2000% boost just seems like something that should be thoroughly abused IMO.