Just In
for Irony:Second Chances or The Bastardized Joke?

10/18/2020 c1 SEINENBOYS
please continue
3/10/2020 c1 1Malgrath
I can only see this ending in blood and death, so a normal Berserk chapter.
1/10/2020 c5 look2019
Good Chapter!
7/14/2018 c5 kerrowe
Fic may be dead now despite your last comment. Ahaha.
But still it's weird but I found this kinda interesting wish there were more for it.
Saw a link to it through SB.
11/30/2017 c5 Bad Anon
Can I say Donoven?

Not enough Guts or violence, but I guess it IS a necessary evil right now. Maybe he'll get sum fuk later, when he finds his burning hate on for Griffith's anus.

Nice ideas for Berserk crossovers, Issei being a 6 foot whatever beefcake in DxD would be hilarious. Pretty much the entire DxD cast is Griffith, being perfect and using humans for their own gain when it suits them, so I don't know how Guts Berserker Soul (Ooh, sacred gear name!) would handle the overwhelming number of Griffith's he would be constantly surrounded by.

Your math is all whacky on the poll results, but I can understand not wanting to type down decimal percentages for 73 races.
11/30/2017 c4 Bad Anon
I'll be a basterd real quick, 'cuase there isn't a nice way to say this: you're deviating too much. In four chapters Guts got all of four lines of dialogue, one of which was about him flaunting his penis at a horse girl. And by shifting focus to an OC of no import, we the readers don't get to see Guts either A, screw everyone in the hospital, or B, strangle everyone in the hospital; you know, the good stuff? Regardless, if it's not important, it's probably best to just not include it.

If a character's introduction is absolutely needed, it is best to be concise and not muddle the time line too much. It can make a story far more difficult to follow then it needs to be. If you picked girls out based on a poll taken after the start of the story you might as well just re-write it to allow your picks more central roles in the story, and to allow better thematic flow of what type of story you are trying to write. Writers don't decide main girls in the middle of a story, for the same reason they don't switch in the middle of a story; they are building a narrative, and different girls will logically require changes to that narrative. I.e. Guts is pursuing some Hellhound for sum fuk, but you have to incorporate the most in demand pairing of the feedbackers, that being steamy Guts on Drawf action for this example. Dropping everything to shoehorn this new character in right now makes no sense, and disrupts the flow of the story. Better to just naturally includen new characters as Guts does his business, either by coincidence or otherwise.

The fact that hermaphrodite succubus (mentioned in world building) are around kind of defeats the purpose of any "Last man alive" story. Last human? Sure, but Guts is barely human by anyone's standards; and seeing as monsters already filled in humanities role as innovators, builders and society creators, they are for all intents and purposes more human than Guts himself.

I don't suggest, ask or attempt to sway a writers vision, but I was bouncing the idea of Dragonslayer and the Berserker armor becoming a Cursed Sword and Living Armor respectively. Thought those would be the logical conclusion of Guts battle lust in a monster girl world.

Ah well, couldn't follow chapter. Too much bouncing around, useless exposition (too much) and lack of solid and clear cut world building. And yeah, not enough of Guts getting sum fuk.

On a completely different note, Gut's Dragonslayer comes out at about 625 pounds. Heaviest one arm curl in the world is like 130 pounds. Fact that he swings it around with one arm is ridiculous; horses weigh like 880 - 2200 pounds (centars less, missing about 15% of the horse and only being as wide as a women), meaning Guts actually could wrestle a beast of burden (or a bear) and come out on top.

Canon claims DS to weigh 200 pounds, but thats impossible unless it was made from wood and aluminum.

Anyway, your effort is commendable.
11/30/2017 c3 Bad Anon
... Word 2016. Copy paste, edit. Voila, your story is now understandable to Normies.

Personally I never cared for the species driven characteristics or personalities of the collective monster girl series. Carries an unfortunate implication that race determines behavior, and I could never get behind that. Even if that is taken as the gospel truth, exceptions exist, i.e. Guts, who's entire existence is a massive middle finger to existential norms.

Example: Hellhounds don't submit? Guts kills demons for breakfast, fake angels for lunch and gods for dinner. He will find a way if he has the motive.

Still, flow is mostly fine until it gets bogged down by extra words. Thesaurus is your friend! And Grammer checking software is pretty much free nowadays, so have a look.
11/30/2017 c2 Bad Anon
Kind of hard to read, what with you leaving extra words in sentences that would otherwise make perfect sense.

Disarming Guts makes sense... kind of. Fan's of Berserk are more drawn in by wanton violence and blown up problems. Oh, and really crappy worlds; just can't get enough.

I understand the polling, but Stories Need Plot. Some writers are skilled enough to flawlessly incorporate steamy pornographic scenes into a well constructed narrative with gripping characters and high levels of immersion. You are not one of these people. One day, maybe, not now.

Point is, you have a story? Definitive ending in mind (Guts... does something?), core characters mapped out (Main Crew), all action (Love/War) planned out, and most importantly something happens. Yeah?

You are the writer. Readers like to know you have a plan when writing is in progress, and while it is sweet to poll readers on things, romantic interests are a massive No No. Means the ladies are completely interchangeable and will not further their own character or the plot in any meaningful way.

If you took a stance like, "Screw you readers; it will be an Eyeball-girl/Sandworm/Horse/Drawf fivesome, and YOUR going to like it! Just like Guts in a few chapters!" I can respect that. It lets the readers think you have a plan, and we'll then spend hours trying to predict your motives for the Drawf.

Solid basis for an embryonic plot, maybe the pacing improves? It's nice overall.
9/20/2017 c5 17Ben56
I would like for you to make the crossover of Berserker and Kuroinu, of course whit saving all the girls. And the one of Berserker and Bikini Warriors to, but i want to read more of this story. Thanks for the last new chapter, until the next one.
4/24/2017 c5 jjcoop95
Sweet chapter. And the plans for all of the fics your working on, love it. Continue to good work.
4/23/2017 c5 Neema Amiry
nigga I can't understand this
1/12/2017 c1 4JessesanMan
I hate to say you butchered the English language, but you did. Guts is proud of you. I'm not.
11/29/2016 c4 13Devilboy101
11/8/2016 c4 Guest
Nice chapter, I cant wait to see what happens next!
10/31/2016 c4 SoraRed
please for the love of god HELLHOUND it would be ironic as all fuck yknow with the beast of darkness an all
40 Page 1 .. Last Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service