Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Broken

2/9/2018 c3 4MLLu
Sakura sure struggles to forgive Sasuke in this. Her emotion is really well captured in this one. Nicely done! :D
2/9/2018 c2 MLLu
I can totally see this happing that Sasuke is not sorry at all. The ending was strong! I really like :)
2/9/2018 c1 MLLu
I really like this! I'm enchanted by the way you describe Naruto and co. It's so spooky but still mysterious in the same time.
1/31/2018 c3 39Daastan Go
Far too simplistic and over-wrought with your viewpoint and the subsequent, cloying preachiness. You could've done a lot by exploring Sasuke's issues: population movement, genocide, and conflicting ideological battles, but that's all you chose? He's dangerous, offers simpering apologies, and Sakura's typical cliches and her non-existent and hyperbolic issues? Kakashi ones are ... he's not even remotely 'tragic' in canon; he's your terrible anime cool-guy with a personality as deep and layered as a gob of my spit, but you managed to lay it quite thick there.

You ended this on such a bizarre note. It feels as though you wanted to pull all stops to let your personal views be heard. It's just 'you' speaking through Sakura at this point, and it's so irksome. I don't know why Sakura writers even do this. Really, it just baffles me, this tendency of theirs to project remorselessly onto a fictional character.

Perhaps you're young. I can't really say, but this was too juvenile. Even the prose isn't anything that would offer some depth of a perspective-technique. The first chapter is also quite poor in regards to structuring. The saving grace is that it's short, and one or two 'like' usages (albeit they're grammatically wrong) weren't all that bad.

Seriously, you could've done a lot more by exploring this 'pragmatically,' as by the end, I had tears in my eyes, too ... not from abject sadness, though.
11/22/2017 c3 3flowersandswords
you should continue this fic
9/14/2017 c3 Itachi008
You're a FAR better writer than Kishimoto. :D
5/22/2016 c3 34BloodPokemon101
I understand Sakura's frustration. It's exactly how I feel.
5/17/2016 c2 haechuu
It kinda feels blank.. But ill still wait for an update
5/14/2016 c2 Guest
I wasn't expecting to see a sequel to chapter 1, but it's been done so well I can't help but wonder if that was your intention the whole time. In any case, keep up the good work!
5/8/2016 c1 Guest
Beautiful.
5/8/2016 c1 haechuu
!

Please make more poems about team7 like this.. It makes me fall in love with my dorks even more than i already do..
5/7/2016 c1 Guest
That is an interesting way to look at it
5/7/2016 c1 30Monkey D. Anea
A lovely poetic one-shot. Thank you for writing this drabble!
-Anea

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service