for That Green Gentleman6/14/2019 c1 
19Colorful and Free
Is this about the 1972 Onceler? It's kinda vague, but...In a good way, if that makes sense. Nice job.
19Colorful and FreeIs this about the 1972 Onceler? It's kinda vague, but...In a good way, if that makes sense. Nice job.
4/12/2017 c1 OncieLover12
So mysterious... I like it!
Good job on the story!
So mysterious... I like it!
Good job on the story!
1/7/2017 c1 2k+Hawki
-"things have changed.".
Extra full stop after "changed" that isn't needed.
-My world is different, but I'm still the same. he thinks to himself with a proud smile.
Should be a comma after "same" instead of a full stop.
-"...from the mirror and reutrns to his work."
Should be "returns."
-"...as he breaths n the smoggy air."
Should be "breathes."
-Punctuation aside, this is...okay, I guess. I'm familiar with the story of 'The Lorax', even if I haven't read/seen it myself. Not sure that this comes under poetry, since as far as I can tell, the writing is in standard narrative form. I can get what it's hinting at in terms of setting and character, but it doesn't really feel long enough to convey the full impact.
2k+Hawki-"things have changed.".
Extra full stop after "changed" that isn't needed.
-My world is different, but I'm still the same. he thinks to himself with a proud smile.
Should be a comma after "same" instead of a full stop.
-"...from the mirror and reutrns to his work."
Should be "returns."
-"...as he breaths n the smoggy air."
Should be "breathes."
-Punctuation aside, this is...okay, I guess. I'm familiar with the story of 'The Lorax', even if I haven't read/seen it myself. Not sure that this comes under poetry, since as far as I can tell, the writing is in standard narrative form. I can get what it's hinting at in terms of setting and character, but it doesn't really feel long enough to convey the full impact.