for school reunion4/30/2018 c4 Guest
jaja genial pero no entiendo esocajas
jaja genial pero no entiendo esocajas
4/30/2018 c3 Guest
jaja ese zorro y sus trucos bajo la manga
jaja ese zorro y sus trucos bajo la manga
4/30/2018 c2 Guest
condenado zorro
condenado zorro
4/30/2018 c1 Guest
esas reuniones son aterradoras
esas reuniones son aterradoras
5/29/2016 c7 Guest
Not bad looking forward to more
Not bad looking forward to more
5/28/2016 c6 Guest
Just don't forget about this story. Can't wait to see what you have planned
Just don't forget about this story. Can't wait to see what you have planned
5/29/2016 c4 sjdfsdafasdf
So... how to start... Author does try, at least I think. Otherwise he probably would not write 7 chapters, right? Well as you can see I got to only chpt. 4 and there's sadly more than just one reason for that. First thing everybody (hopefully) will notice are grammatical mistakes. You probably wouldn't be able to count them all. There are just too many. Thanks to that story is very hard to follow as it is hard to read. And even if it wasn't for the mistakes the plot's confusing at times on its own and sometimes doesn't even make sense. Characters aren't true to their movie selves at all not to mention the cringe worthy dialogues.
Overall pros:
Interesting idea;
Author probably did try;
Overall cons:
Grammatical mistakes for basically everything: commas, typos, direct speech, upper and lowercase letter, and mostly sentence structure;
Pacing of the story is extremely fast and there's no time for character development, therefore many things characters end up doing don't make sense at all;
Story probably wouldn't make sense even without all the grammatical errors;
Characters aren't true to themselves AT ALL and this shows mostly in their dialogues that are extremely cringe worthy;
And I probably forgot something because there are just so many things wrong with this story...
My honest advice to author:
Don't stop writing. Continue and try to improve. Start by learning some more basics of English grammar. Meanwhile, just try writing shorter (much shorter) sentences.
So... how to start... Author does try, at least I think. Otherwise he probably would not write 7 chapters, right? Well as you can see I got to only chpt. 4 and there's sadly more than just one reason for that. First thing everybody (hopefully) will notice are grammatical mistakes. You probably wouldn't be able to count them all. There are just too many. Thanks to that story is very hard to follow as it is hard to read. And even if it wasn't for the mistakes the plot's confusing at times on its own and sometimes doesn't even make sense. Characters aren't true to their movie selves at all not to mention the cringe worthy dialogues.
Overall pros:
Interesting idea;
Author probably did try;
Overall cons:
Grammatical mistakes for basically everything: commas, typos, direct speech, upper and lowercase letter, and mostly sentence structure;
Pacing of the story is extremely fast and there's no time for character development, therefore many things characters end up doing don't make sense at all;
Story probably wouldn't make sense even without all the grammatical errors;
Characters aren't true to themselves AT ALL and this shows mostly in their dialogues that are extremely cringe worthy;
And I probably forgot something because there are just so many things wrong with this story...
My honest advice to author:
Don't stop writing. Continue and try to improve. Start by learning some more basics of English grammar. Meanwhile, just try writing shorter (much shorter) sentences.
25/16/2016 c2 Sappopo
I love the "may get romantic" and chapter 2 "of course i'll marry you" but I'm here for the fluff and the romance so kudo to you !
I love the "may get romantic" and chapter 2 "of course i'll marry you" but I'm here for the fluff and the romance so kudo to you !