FanFiction.Net
Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Retrograde

4/10 c33 Halfrican18
Excellent story. Looking forward to the next update
4/3 c33 14old-crow
Hi,

It's always fun to catch up with the newer chapters.

Cheers,

Crow
3/22 c33 gabrieljuarezl
good chapter
3/19 c33 2Pentel123
This story is sorta funny to come back and read through a bit older and more aware of the workings of civil governments, because, likely without intending to, a lot of what is written after Bones comes to power reads a bit like a armed force coup. One brought about by popular acclaim and to deal with corruption that festered beforehand, but a bit of one none the less.

Like I said, it is just sorta funny. Still a decent story.
3/19 c33 AkerinSilver
love the story so far and i am looking for more
3/15 c28 Nimbus2023
Alright, I'm out. The plot is interesting but the story itself just lacks any depth at all. This reads more like a story outline and most of the main plot points are rushed through or glossed over and frankly, it just seems kind of lazy. My suggestion would be to start over take your time and write this with more detail and some character development. You could easily make a 300k story out of the plot points you've gone over thus far if you hadn't skimmed over all of the important parts.
3/15 c26 Nimbus2023
Sirius's home was number twelve Grimmauld place.
3/15 c21 Nimbus2023
The thirtieth of July is Neville's birthday, Harry's is the thirty-first.
3/15 c20 Nimbus2023
Alright, you can drop the intro and summary before every chapter anytime now. At this point, we're aware of what the story is about and the repeating intro only serves to pad the word count
3/15 c15 Nimbus2023
I know it's probably irrelevant but I am curious what kind of pistol he carries. Obviously, it's not a Glock because Harry mentioned it having a safety and the spare mags rule out a revolver.
3/15 c15 Nimbus2023
Wasn't Amelia killed the summer before sixth year?
3/15 c13 Nimbus2023
I don't know what it is but there is something off-putting about Hermione in this story.
3/15 c8 Nimbus2023
This feels more like a story outline than an actual story.
3/15 c3 Nimbus2023
The scenes don't really transition very well and there are far too many 'coincidental meetings' considering that we're only three chapters in. It just feels like you're rushing the story along rather than letting it progress in a believable fashion.
3/15 c2 Nimbus2023
Minister Fudge only got Harry's school supplies in the movie, in the book Harry did his own shopping and spent a few weeks staying at the Leaky Cauldron.
1,689 Page 1 2 3 4 11 .. Last Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service