
11/23 c369
5Shodaime Gahokage
I think this is good enough to warrant a full story. Shelve it in the "concept to develop further in length"

I think this is good enough to warrant a full story. Shelve it in the "concept to develop further in length"
11/22 c369 Haseo187
This could be a interesting story. I will probably read it if you post more chapters.
This could be a interesting story. I will probably read it if you post more chapters.
11/22 c368 Kael Hyun
Akeno better be apart of what ever pairing this becomes because Incest is wincest
Akeno better be apart of what ever pairing this becomes because Incest is wincest
11/22 c369 Anubis of The Highway Thieves
If you do manage to get this going as a proper fic could you have Rias actually putting in proper effort to train for a potential rating game instead of waiting till the last minute like cannon and so many other fics do, or for some love interest/friend/ect to intervene?
At the least have Harry's arrival and a discussion sets her to actually train.
It's likely me as I've not actually been looking, but it really doesn't seem to be any fics that do have a pre cannon proactive Rias.
If you do manage to get this going as a proper fic could you have Rias actually putting in proper effort to train for a potential rating game instead of waiting till the last minute like cannon and so many other fics do, or for some love interest/friend/ect to intervene?
At the least have Harry's arrival and a discussion sets her to actually train.
It's likely me as I've not actually been looking, but it really doesn't seem to be any fics that do have a pre cannon proactive Rias.
11/22 c369
2Lordlexx
I like this story idea, it's different. But I feel that the Devils knowing so much about the wizarding world is a bit too one sided. Knowing it exists is different than the sheer amount of knowledge they have of it. The wizards went into hiding, it kinda defeats the purpose of it if others not in their community all know about it and get up to date info regularly.
And a couple notes about your second chapter, it's way to verbose. Rias talks to much when what she said can be shortened considerably with exposition rather than dialogue. That's just rehashing DxD canon rather than explaining something new.
I feel like you're having Harry, or at least the people assuming Harry, will react really negatively to their heritage. Harry has always been a "take them as they come" sort of person. Hagrid, Remus, Fleur, ect. While it's reasonable that they'd worry, I feel Harry got a little to stressed about it. The peerage system he could be understandably worried about, but he also knows Dobby and other House Elves. He freed Dobby from an abusive master but he was never a huge social justice warrior about it like Hermione was. I think he'd be wary but mostly ambivalent about the peerage system unless there was an obvious issue in front of him.

I like this story idea, it's different. But I feel that the Devils knowing so much about the wizarding world is a bit too one sided. Knowing it exists is different than the sheer amount of knowledge they have of it. The wizards went into hiding, it kinda defeats the purpose of it if others not in their community all know about it and get up to date info regularly.
And a couple notes about your second chapter, it's way to verbose. Rias talks to much when what she said can be shortened considerably with exposition rather than dialogue. That's just rehashing DxD canon rather than explaining something new.
I feel like you're having Harry, or at least the people assuming Harry, will react really negatively to their heritage. Harry has always been a "take them as they come" sort of person. Hagrid, Remus, Fleur, ect. While it's reasonable that they'd worry, I feel Harry got a little to stressed about it. The peerage system he could be understandably worried about, but he also knows Dobby and other House Elves. He freed Dobby from an abusive master but he was never a huge social justice warrior about it like Hermione was. I think he'd be wary but mostly ambivalent about the peerage system unless there was an obvious issue in front of him.
11/22 c369 Stormbow
I like what you are doing with Rias, and the fact that that Harry isn't immediately jumping into judgement or into her arms (or trying at least) is a big positive in my eyes. I'd love to see this story continued. Truely.
I like what you are doing with Rias, and the fact that that Harry isn't immediately jumping into judgement or into her arms (or trying at least) is a big positive in my eyes. I'd love to see this story continued. Truely.
11/22 c368 Stormbow
I like your low-angst approach in how you started this one off. Making Akeno Harry's half-sister was a nice touch - it's not something I would normally expect. It does make me wonder if Harry will have a harem in this story, or if this would be one of the few DxD fics I've read that avoid that whole shtick.
I like your low-angst approach in how you started this one off. Making Akeno Harry's half-sister was a nice touch - it's not something I would normally expect. It does make me wonder if Harry will have a harem in this story, or if this would be one of the few DxD fics I've read that avoid that whole shtick.
11/21 c369 LoamyCoffee
Now, see this is what I want out of Rias. More fleshed out and the negative traits NOT dialed up to 11.
They do this with Riser too. When one sees almost nothing but bashing, it's hard to not one's views on a character affected.
Still, this is good.
Now, see this is what I want out of Rias. More fleshed out and the negative traits NOT dialed up to 11.
They do this with Riser too. When one sees almost nothing but bashing, it's hard to not one's views on a character affected.
Still, this is good.
11/21 c368 LoamyCoffee
A interesting mix of previous attempts.
I wonder what kind of siblings they'll be to each other.
A interesting mix of previous attempts.
I wonder what kind of siblings they'll be to each other.