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for the one natsu

7/21/2016 c1 ShadeShadow234
Natsu cried out in pain, as if something within him had broken, or unlocked. Either way, it was painful. Two of his companions, Lucy and Erza, yelled his name, while the third, Gray, checked on Wendy, who had taken a heavy hit earlier. "Are you alright Wendy?" He questioned. "I'm fine... I'm worried about Natsu though." Natsu panted heavily. "I.. I'm fine. I jus-" Natsu attempted to reassure them, but he was cut off, by Hades. Calmy, he chuckled. "You don't stand a chance against me, flies. After all, I dance with magic." He snapped his eye open, glaring at them. Natsu glared back. "You? Dance with magic? Don't make me laugh." Lucy waved her hands frantically. "Let's not make him angry ok?" Hades hmmphed. "Magic bullets: piercing shot!" He aimed his magic towards Natsu, planning on taking him down first. Before anyone could react, Natsu lifted his hand, absorbing the magic bullets. Everyone froze for a second, before "MAGIC BULLETS: MACHINE GUN" (I honestly don't remember if he actually has a spell like this, oh well) Hades rapid fired bullets at Natsu. Each and every one was absorbed. "W...who the hell are you!?" Hades staggered backwards, his one visible eye widening. Natsu snarled. "I'm Natsu Dragneel of Fairy Tail!" Hades took another step back. "Wait... No... You couldn't be..." Natsu slammed one fist into the other. "But you may also know me as One Magic!"

Hehe... I couldn't help myself. I do make a point to check out people's accounts when they follow one of my stories, and in doing so I've stumbled across this little gem. Feel free to PM me, I'll willingly Beta. (Also, sorry I haven't updated in a while, I'm on a Caffeine high. It affects me way to much. -_-.)
6/29/2016 c1 1Kyouya Sata
Spelling and grammar. Your dialogue is confusing. Structure doesn't really matter but it looks like stanzas more than paragraphs. No details and that makes your story choppy and abrupt.

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