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7/5 c93 2Rachnee
Holy Shit, 1st time I've read this far into this massive story and now I find out that Jaune has become motherfucking Lon'Qu. It's time to start kicking ass and taking names, Jaune. And unfortunately for you, Cinder, Jaune's all out of bubblegum.
6/21 c35 wd12091111
Rip pyromancers
6/18 c26 AverageHumanMale
Oooooh shit Salem's here...
6/18 c24 AverageHumanMale
You most definitely succeeded
6/18 c23 AverageHumanMale
Quite a shame about the pairing since Blake is definitely best girl but oh well we cant have everything in life
6/18 c21 AverageHumanMale
Well that was quite sweet
6/18 c20 AverageHumanMale
I wonder if its possible to craft a sword that gives magical stats instead of physical ones
6/17 c18 AverageHumanMale
True, i thought it was going to be a sea monster so i didnt even think about pirates, actually caught me really off guard lol
6/16 c10 AverageHumanMale
Wait couldnt he do some crazy shit with that passive in the future like being a flaming Tank or something like that? With some creative thinking that might be useful in the future. Also i wonder if the extra EXP he got from Crescent Rose was because of what he was feeling while crafting it or because he beat the metal into submission with his bare hands
6/15 c1 AverageHumanMale
Hooooo this is a really exciting start! At first i was unsure about starting to read this one since it is more than a million words and that means a lot more reading than the usual 100-300k words but this first chapter and its premise has me hooked, im in for the ride now baby!
6/13 c157 CorruptedFlame
Finally finished. 1 million words is a lot, and while I enjoyed it a lot I think my favourite sections were probably concentrated in the first quarter of the story. When the world and system were new, and also the Jaune and Blake romance. That isn't the say the rest wasn't also great, but I feel like the story became very plot oriented and it might have come at the expense of some character work, certainly there wasn't anything as compelling as those early chapters where it was sometimes just Jaune and Blake for the whole chapter. If I had to make a conjecture I would say you wrote best when without a solid 'plan' to restrict you. It felt like you had leeway, and so you wrote characters more intimately and thoughtfully, as opposed to later on in the story where it feels like the scheduling and plotting took hold of the store and made it a bit more sterile. Overall, still loved it, but would have perhaps liked to see some interlude POVs at the end after 5 years of Jaune and Ruby rule to see how the kingdom has changed in a variety of situations, though I can understand after 1 million words you might have been eager to put the story to rest and start something else, so no real complaints.
6/13 c154 CorruptedFlame
ERROR! His father isn't called Nicholas Arc, the Arc name is one Jaune INVENTED to sound knight-like, you can read about it in chapter 1 (or 2?i can't remember) honestly, author, keep up! :P (sarcasm BTW, I know it's been ages since you would have written that part of the story lol, and just a few days for me.)
6/13 c146 CorruptedFlame
Also, the soldier killing only too Place AFTER the siege towers were destroyed, it was a direct consequence (do X, cause Y which is worse).
6/13 c146 CorruptedFlame
Actually Blake only killed the Mistrali soldiers and let the Valean ones run away, but they would have been killed afterwards anyway by the grim horde which formed.
6/13 c145 CorruptedFlame
Also, the whole dying by Cinder thing was spelled out explicitly when Ozpin convinces Jaune NOT to make the wish in Vale, when Lisa does instead. Bro, you forgot this stuff!
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