for Konoha's Biggest Mistake: Naruto the Kitsune Ryu7/18/2016 c4 Inuyashas bloody moon
I like the concept of this story. But it's too fast paced, with little depth to it. I'm sure that you will get better at writing with time. I'm still going to follow and read to see where you go with this.
I like the concept of this story. But it's too fast paced, with little depth to it. I'm sure that you will get better at writing with time. I'm still going to follow and read to see where you go with this.
7/18/2016 c3 thor94
fun chapter.
liked how naruto pranked kakashi and shut uchiha mouth about the scythe.
So naruto become kurama mate? like this pairing, can't wait for some lemon
fun chapter.
liked how naruto pranked kakashi and shut uchiha mouth about the scythe.
So naruto become kurama mate? like this pairing, can't wait for some lemon
7/16/2016 c2 Guest
I don't like wing fics, they always unsettle me... Almost everything else is OK though.
I don't like wing fics, they always unsettle me... Almost everything else is OK though.
7/16/2016 c1 Guest
This a Dumb Clithe copy and paste Formula and you know that
A Mob... Really?
This a Dumb Clithe copy and paste Formula and you know that
A Mob... Really?
7/16/2016 c2 thor94
interesting.
naruto look really cute in his new outfit, a perfect hot uke.
Hope you don't plan sasgay in the harem, hope for some protective boy like kurama, gaara, haku, utakata who understand the pain of hate, loneliness and pariah life.
interesting.
naruto look really cute in his new outfit, a perfect hot uke.
Hope you don't plan sasgay in the harem, hope for some protective boy like kurama, gaara, haku, utakata who understand the pain of hate, loneliness and pariah life.
7/14/2016 c1 
15AJ Maxima
If you need help writing a summary, I'd be happy to give you some tips. :) I don't think your story is terrible for a first fic. It's just a bit of an eyesore to have everything so clumped together on the screen. There are a few mistakes, and you can use some italics to show Naruto's thoughts as well as describe the scenes more, but it does have potential and can be fixed with a beta like you said. Also, you'd probably benefit from putting who the main pairing is about under the 'manage stories' area.
Anyways, thanks for posting and congrats on your first fic! Keep writing!
-AJ
15AJ MaximaIf you need help writing a summary, I'd be happy to give you some tips. :) I don't think your story is terrible for a first fic. It's just a bit of an eyesore to have everything so clumped together on the screen. There are a few mistakes, and you can use some italics to show Naruto's thoughts as well as describe the scenes more, but it does have potential and can be fixed with a beta like you said. Also, you'd probably benefit from putting who the main pairing is about under the 'manage stories' area.
Anyways, thanks for posting and congrats on your first fic! Keep writing!
-AJ