
2/7 c10 Neos Primordial
You were doing good, but the last chapter and this one made this from a intresting and well written story to a braindead story, The Sensei is so stupid yet the story acts as if she isn't, shadow clones are for infiltration or scouting right, just a small decision to stay with her genin team while sending her shadow clone to scout the situation would be so much better, in an unknown situation why would you leave your responsibilities. And the lose of Limb was just plain braindead, not good for tourture, not something any reader wanted in the protagonist, especially not so soon in the story and not in this forced manner, maybe him sacrificing a limb to save a teammate would have been better if you really wanted to do it. Still don't take it as an insult, it was a plot mistake, everyone makes mistakes, you are still a good writer.
You were doing good, but the last chapter and this one made this from a intresting and well written story to a braindead story, The Sensei is so stupid yet the story acts as if she isn't, shadow clones are for infiltration or scouting right, just a small decision to stay with her genin team while sending her shadow clone to scout the situation would be so much better, in an unknown situation why would you leave your responsibilities. And the lose of Limb was just plain braindead, not good for tourture, not something any reader wanted in the protagonist, especially not so soon in the story and not in this forced manner, maybe him sacrificing a limb to save a teammate would have been better if you really wanted to do it. Still don't take it as an insult, it was a plot mistake, everyone makes mistakes, you are still a good writer.
2/7 c9 Neos Primordial
I think the sensei is an Idiot and needs to be changed, and your story is just ignoring that fact, she broke the spine of the mc! that is serious stuff, I don't even think it's possible to have an athletic body after a spine injury with some healing chakra bullshit, and after that she takes them to a High ranking mission without training, even Kakashi did that in canon but he took responsibility of protecting his genin, she just fucked off with one clone to the untrained genein where multiple chunins have been dead,without checking if there were hostiles near, and then can't track her genins. The story doesn't hold the sensei her faults, as for now, let's see what happens.
I think the sensei is an Idiot and needs to be changed, and your story is just ignoring that fact, she broke the spine of the mc! that is serious stuff, I don't even think it's possible to have an athletic body after a spine injury with some healing chakra bullshit, and after that she takes them to a High ranking mission without training, even Kakashi did that in canon but he took responsibility of protecting his genin, she just fucked off with one clone to the untrained genein where multiple chunins have been dead,without checking if there were hostiles near, and then can't track her genins. The story doesn't hold the sensei her faults, as for now, let's see what happens.
2/1 c11
2Omnireceptacle
You've likely already gotten to the summon since I'm only on chapter 11, but I just feel like some sort of bird summoning fits. Owls, maybe.

You've likely already gotten to the summon since I'm only on chapter 11, but I just feel like some sort of bird summoning fits. Owls, maybe.
1/20 c22 Seruvius
Really enjoyed what you've written here. Sad it's hasn't been continued, but I guess the muses are fickle patrons.
Really enjoyed what you've written here. Sad it's hasn't been continued, but I guess the muses are fickle patrons.
12/24/2024 c3 induk
i know it's been discontinued but this fic just made me think about a yamanka si with telekinesis or tactile telekinesis since yamanaka's are telepaths.
i know it's been discontinued but this fic just made me think about a yamanka si with telekinesis or tactile telekinesis since yamanaka's are telepaths.
12/6/2024 c22 Hello
Judging by the last update date, this is dead. But I have enjoyed it. I like Taichi's character, and the problems he is having. He has real mental scars, and body loss.
So thank you for writing this story. I hope you continue it someday.
Judging by the last update date, this is dead. But I have enjoyed it. I like Taichi's character, and the problems he is having. He has real mental scars, and body loss.
So thank you for writing this story. I hope you continue it someday.
12/5/2024 c22 FAKE-ROB
LIAR¡ YOU DROP THIS PERFECT WORK
why? is good and fun and realistic (lie) but why... *cry *
LIAR¡ YOU DROP THIS PERFECT WORK
why? is good and fun and realistic (lie) but why... *cry *
9/10/2024 c22
1Maxed959
This story is a lot of fun! It has just the right mix of power fantasy and consequences to really keep me interested and the worldbuilding has been really enjoyable!

This story is a lot of fun! It has just the right mix of power fantasy and consequences to really keep me interested and the worldbuilding has been really enjoyable!
7/17/2024 c1 TheMuzicMan
"I mean jeez, most of this story will take place when the characters are children. Cooties were a real thing back then."
Gunna be that guy here but in cannon aren't basically all young girls in the leaf trying(and failing) to seduce and bed a mentally scared orphan from age 8 to 17 when he finally picks one?
"I mean jeez, most of this story will take place when the characters are children. Cooties were a real thing back then."
Gunna be that guy here but in cannon aren't basically all young girls in the leaf trying(and failing) to seduce and bed a mentally scared orphan from age 8 to 17 when he finally picks one?