Just In
for Red Snow

7/19/2016 c1 2Winter Violet
I agree with your teacher that this is a good little snippet of a story :)

Lots of the images are vivid and interesting (lightly decorated with snow, cawed angrily from the canopy, dotted trail of red blood, watery red eyes), and the piece as a whole seems to settle from stress into quiet. I think the (tiny!) narrative arc is well done.

I find it curious that the rabbit would approach him; I'd think its instincts would say "stay away!" from blood and stress. But it makes for a tender moment, and I like it regardless. Especially in that she (the rabbit) provides a "witness" of sorts.

My only big suggestion is that I would push harder for unique symbols, ones that aren't so common. Look for little things in the landscape that could mean the same thing! A forest would be full of animals and plants that could symbolize life and death in "new" ways.

Anyway, I like this. A follow up would be interesting, and my instincts as a writer say go with Miminfifi's idea only because this event seems so final. If that helps at all :)

Great work, and keep writing!

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