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11/13/2021 c1 Ardaza
Hmm there’s a few things I could say, first there are some pretty big problems with the characters, like the main character who feels more like a sociopathic school bully that murders anything he can get away with for no real reason, and Tonks who is portrayed as a blubbering mess of incapability and therefore wouldn’t be classified as and Auror, (using modern police standards). Beyond that it’s grammatically difficult to read, with very little substance on why the characters are the way they are.
For example all I learned about Harry’s past was that he failed once to make friends and quit trying there, so why then did he reach out to the crying Tonks? Did he find her tear stained face beautiful and thought “hey maybe I want to torture this poor soul more because that’s what I do?” I don’t know. What I can say is it was not an enjoyable read for me. Seemed childish and chaotic with no sense of direction as to mood of the story or setting.
11/11/2021 c1 Tenjo
It’s crap. The concept is interesting and even the content of the story was interesting until he saw Tonks, but the writing is crap and the dialogue is even worse. It’s honestly among the worst I’ve ever come across.

Harry is a cold, heartless killer who has no desire for interaction… but he decides to talk to the crying lady? Why did she choose to cry in Knockturn Alley of all places? Why does she hate the Blacks in this? I’d understand a mild dislike of the Blacks in canon as they threw her mother out, but she hates her mother in this so she has no reason to dislike them. Why does she say bitch so often? She was supposedly tortured by her mother, but the main thing she’s sad about is that people dislike her because of her abilities? She says Harry is a lucky bitch because he never met his mother.

I explained it horribly, but seriously. While the writing was trash until he met Tonks, the story itself was interesting. After that, it just went downhill and now I’ve got nothing positive to say about it.
9/14/2016 c2 Lord Asmodeus
Amusing. Albeit hyperbolic in exaggeration. On another note, I can half-understand the reason why many readers feel disgruntled by your English skills. It's not large mistakes, instead, it's the small, very obvious ones. Ones that coincidentally enough, are rather irksome, due to how truly obvious they are.
7/23/2016 c1 ramtin07
7/21/2016 c1 Guest
Very good

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