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9/14/2016 c18 1Ellie Sculder
Rory is so wise! I love how the relationship between Rory and Luke is developing. Another great chapter!
9/14/2016 c18 23Rori Potter
Oh boy. Wow. Update soon.
9/13/2016 c18 4Handful of Barbie
I don't want to criticize because I'm enjoying your story, but I need to say this because it's getting in the way of an otherwise good piece.

Your constant use of description ("the man", "the brunette", "her friend", "the 21 year old") is really, really irritating. It's fine, even good, once in a while, but should be used sparingly. It is especially irritating because the description is rarely relevant.

This would read a LOT better with names and pronouns in place of at least 95% of your descriptors.

Please keep writing, but rethink this particular strategy.
9/13/2016 c18 12cecilia.dryan
I want more
9/10/2016 c17 cecilia.dryan
I want more
9/10/2016 c16 cecilia.dryan
Fun
9/10/2016 c15 cecilia.dryan
Cool
9/10/2016 c14 cecilia.dryan
Awesome cool
9/10/2016 c13 cecilia.dryan
Awesome more
9/10/2016 c12 cecilia.dryan
Awesome st
9/10/2016 c11 cecilia.dryan
Aww
9/10/2016 c10 cecilia.dryan
Awe
9/10/2016 c9 cecilia.dryan
Yayoh
9/10/2016 c8 cecilia.dryan
Moreover
9/10/2016 c7 cecilia.dryan
Morw
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