for Friend or Foe
611/17/2020 c13 starlite22
Emma is moving on far to quickly from her husbands death, no one would even being thinking on looking at anyone the way she’s looks at narcissus. Narccissa seems to of (to quickly) recovered from her abusive marriage and it ending, likewise Draco.
Hermiones house blew up so where is she getting all her clothes from (they haven’t been shopping), then her and Harry change shape and height yet they have clothes that fit them.
There owls and crookshanks have all been forgotten about, as has dads body or service for him.
This whole story is a good idea, but moving way way or fast.
Emma is moving on far to quickly from her husbands death, no one would even being thinking on looking at anyone the way she’s looks at narcissus. Narccissa seems to of (to quickly) recovered from her abusive marriage and it ending, likewise Draco.
Hermiones house blew up so where is she getting all her clothes from (they haven’t been shopping), then her and Harry change shape and height yet they have clothes that fit them.
There owls and crookshanks have all been forgotten about, as has dads body or service for him.
This whole story is a good idea, but moving way way or fast.
11/17/2020 c10 starlite22
Hermione is still in her clothes she was in when the explosion happened. I think Hermione should deal with Lucius seems a fair punishment. Who killed her father, they seem to have forgotten about ego exploded the house.
Hermione is still in her clothes she was in when the explosion happened. I think Hermione should deal with Lucius seems a fair punishment. Who killed her father, they seem to have forgotten about ego exploded the house.
11/17/2020 c9 starlite22
I hope you don’t force them together to soon, she needs to grieve her husband. She must have been happily married and she’s pregnant, don’t make out Hermiones dad to be nasty or his importance in their lives to have no value. That takes away Hermiones childhood and memories of her family.
I hope you don’t force them together to soon, she needs to grieve her husband. She must have been happily married and she’s pregnant, don’t make out Hermiones dad to be nasty or his importance in their lives to have no value. That takes away Hermiones childhood and memories of her family.
11/16/2020 c6 starlite22
Hermione has nothing no clothes no possessions, her familiar is gone, what about her owl? Why didn’t she realise her mother was written as deceased in her letter?
Hermione has nothing no clothes no possessions, her familiar is gone, what about her owl? Why didn’t she realise her mother was written as deceased in her letter?
11/16/2020 c3 starlite22
Nooo you killed off her parents, that’s not on. What about crookshanks did you kill him off to?
Nooo you killed off her parents, that’s not on. What about crookshanks did you kill him off to?
10/17/2020 c34 CassiopeiaLupin
this good could write more
this good could write more
8/12/2020 c12 Daarklyte
Good story but you need to keep a bit better track of your plot points as there is a couple of places where you said something in one chapter only to revisit it in another chapter like nothing has previously happened. The conversation between Amelia and Sirius in particular. She said she would give him a chance and then later they talked again and she said she wasn’t sure she could give him a chance. There was at least one other time this happened but I can’t recall it at this point.
Good story but you need to keep a bit better track of your plot points as there is a couple of places where you said something in one chapter only to revisit it in another chapter like nothing has previously happened. The conversation between Amelia and Sirius in particular. She said she would give him a chance and then later they talked again and she said she wasn’t sure she could give him a chance. There was at least one other time this happened but I can’t recall it at this point.
6/3/2020 c9 Guest
Story went from 8/10 to a steaming sad sack of shit. Turning your characters into fucking idiots to create a dramatic scene is pathetic. Then you compound this by having everyone stand around doing nothing. If I had been Harry or hermione I would have been trying to raise a damn army but they were all prepared to play wait and see? Nope I don’t buy it all. Shitty story all around now.
Story went from 8/10 to a steaming sad sack of shit. Turning your characters into fucking idiots to create a dramatic scene is pathetic. Then you compound this by having everyone stand around doing nothing. If I had been Harry or hermione I would have been trying to raise a damn army but they were all prepared to play wait and see? Nope I don’t buy it all. Shitty story all around now.