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3/18/2018 c1 8multyfangirl21
? what is this?
6/1/2017 c5 Kurosaki Yukia
3/4/2017 c5 multyfangirl21
Grammar and spelling wise this chapter is doing pretty good. You only mixed up of with off. Simple slip of the keyboard probably.
Story wise , I don't know. It's slightly dull. I guess I'm waiting to see some action. But I guess you might be have trouble thinking up how to do action like I did when I was trying to put some action in my storys. I still have trouble at times. Oh well, you'll figure it out further along the way. It's probably a safe bet that not much will happen until Gary gets his 4th badge or so. By then their Pokemon will be noticable stronger than they are now.
Will Brock still be traveling with them?
3/4/2017 c4 multyfangirl21
Before the sun fall , don't you mean set(s)?
I think that you need to look over the part where Gary breaks up a fight between Ash and Misty.
Pokemon stealers? You mean theives?
:) Really? Gary's going to be a little bit like Brock?
3/4/2017 c3 multyfangirl21
Throw the trees. (sigh) it's one of the most common mistakes. It's through the trees.
Gary starts to lean the eggs , did you by any chance mean clean the eggs?
3/4/2017 c2 multyfangirl21
Snacks his head with a plastic pat. What is a plastic pat?
I think you left out the 'l' and the 'e' in implore and added a 't' making it import - this is from when they meet Misty.
And 'd' and 'b' switched on you making Misty's rod into Rob.
It's pretty funny how much of a spelling and slightly a grammar Nazi I'm becoming.
2/3/2017 c5 6phineashiccup
love this story can't wait for another chapter
9/5/2016 c5 SilentSniper05
Title doesnt matter its the content
8/25/2016 c4 Guest
That was hilarious... Someone is sleeping on the couch today
8/21/2016 c4 espeon44
8/21/2016 c3 55WyldClaw
what a fabulous chapter
8/14/2016 c1 WyldClaw
that was a sweet start
8/7/2016 c2 9dragonrush
Pikachu and Azurill are overpowered. You need to get rid of some of their moves. Azurill is a rare choice for a capture in journey stories so that play was good, but their movesets are just ridiculous.
7/30/2016 c1 Animemangalover24
Love the story. I'm also glad to see another female Ash story, there are so few that it is kind of disappointing. So thank you for making one. Also please update as soon as possible! It really is a great story so far.
7/27/2016 c1 dragonrush
Your writing is amazing, I'll admit to that, but your description and title ruined it. 'The Chosen Angel' just SCREAMS mary-sue, and the Aura powers and eggs just added to that. Surprisingly, however, your writing was actually pretty good - but I recommend you change the title and description, and in the next chapter give Ashley some notable flaws to balance out her overwhelming mary-sue traits.
- dragonrush
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