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for Like a Doe in the Owsla

10/21/2017 c1 1Emerald the Rain-IceWing
Wow. That was so deep and touching. (Except for the tickling part. That was lighthearted and funny.) You are an amazing author so please keep writing!
3/13/2017 c1 1Lauz-millz
I really enjoyed this story, I like your writing style.
I liked that Hyzenthlay beat Hazel, its nice to see the under dogs winning
its nice that she is then let into the owsla and that Holly is willing to learn from her as well
overall a very good story :)
8/9/2016 c1 67Fox Teen
Aww, this was a really sweet one-shot. I suck at couple one-shots; it's lovely to see someone good at it.
Though the TV Series is May favourite out of the film and book (I am only up to Cowslip's Warren lol), it is nice to see you relating to the book.
Hazel and Hyzenthlay tickling each other was very touching and sweet.
Pompous as Bigwig is, it was nice to see him apologise, even though there's the easy way, the hard way, then Bigwig's way. Lol.
Here are my nitpicks: The dialogue was beautifully written and designed, but there were times where you didn't describe who was saying which eventually lead me to losing the patch of the speakers. And the final nitpick is whenever the characters speak, I do not see any benchmarks with the sentences in between. They are important to use because without them, no reader would think whether a character is talking .
Overall, this was a lovely one shot and I loved the moment so th Fiver and Hazel nuzzling. They have the most beautiful relationship any brother would have to another.
And thanks for mentioning me for one of your inspirations. I'm glad I could be of help.
8/9/2016 c1 2dplutonium13
Oh, Dear Frith, That was awesome, When I saw your email that said that you had just posted another story, I was literally saying '' Yes, yes, yes, He's back in the game, Yahoo. (Well technically you were already in the game, and it is not a game, more of the current fandom/Community, What am I doing, I'm getting off topic here) Your new story made my evening here in Houston. The story had everything, a classical Slice of life-one shot of Watership Down. I noticed that the difference between the way you and I write certain parts of our stories are that you write "They touched their noses together"While I would write the scenes with "Nuzzled". I may start to apply it to my story when it may become necessary. You know, I really do appreciate the time and effort you do look for most of the mistakes I made in each of my chapters, it shows that effort and I would like to return the favor for I did find a two things that I thought were a little out of place in the story (Or maybe it was just me, Dang I'm an awful editor:(}
1.)"This was one he (I think you meant to write 'she')had not expected.
2.)"I'm more serious rabbit."(I think you meant to write 'I'm more 'of a' serious rabbit.
Other than that, your story is polished.
I'm starting to write chapter 11 of 'The Hlessi', but I seem to have issues with the meeting between Vesper and both Hazel and Hyzenthlay. So It might take me two more days to write, edit, and publish Chapter 11, But I will do my best hopefully.
You know, I've noticed that I have not been doing author's note in my chapters. That I can not explain, maybe I'm just scared of they might view me as, and If I write a bad chapter, it might show that I am an unintentionally bad writer. I think I'm just overreacting. Maybe I'll make an Authors note in my next chapter, who knows.
It is nice to see that you have many inspirations and friends who helped you make your stories, I must be nice. You know I had a revelation when reading your authors note at the bottom, I'm just a rookie. I have even made a dent in the community/fandom and long time away before I can be turned from the Inspired, into the inspiration. I think that is how we all start off, we become inspired and we then take the leap of faith and write our first fanfic, sure it might not be perfect, but you got to start somewhere at least. Then you become noticed by people in the fandom and they help you out and get better connected, next thing you know, your second story is a major hit in the community when you take a concept of traveling around the world and Watership Down, and you get "Around The World'. And you have people who read and enjoy your adaptation, and then one of your readers becomes inspired and writes his first fanfic of his version of the events of The Battle Of Watership Down, and then he sees someone has read and reviewed his story, he clicks sees that this person name is the one of your favorite fanfic 'Around The World'. That gets him inspired, and he writes his first original story about a strange rabbit entering a strange, new world, Just like himself. I often Imagine myself as the Hlessi, shy yet innocent in this new frontier, and he has made Two new friends along the way. To be honest, I don't Know if one day, I could become the Inspiration the way you have to me and many others. It is not my true purpose of writing these fanfics for I love it, but it's part of it. I don't know, maybe I am overthinking. I'm a but a drop of water in the calm lake called the fandom/community. In order to make waves,you got splash around first. I'm just that little drop. I know it's my personal opinion, but what do you think of all this? for I overthinking it, and I unfortunbatly do it often.
Chao and thank you for a wonderful story, I'm be waiting for future stories;)
P.s-Check out I song I found If you had not already, (America-Watership Down)

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